I know, which is why I was talking about deliberately lying about your sexuality.
How does lying validate the stigma in any way that being evasive about it does not? Both send the message that being gay is something you don’t want people to know about, that it’s something shameful. It’s just a different way of hiding it.
That’s super for you. But just in the interest of fighting ignorance, Rosie being gay doesn’t mean that she was lying about having a crush on Tom Cruise. Lots of gay people have “celebrity crushes.” My boyfriend calls Rachael Ray “his imaginary girlfriend.” If he somehow got her into bed, he wouldn’t have a clue what to do with her, but he still crushes on her everytime he turns on the Food Network.
I disagree. If the direct question (“Are you gay?” “Is this your boyfriend?”) is never raised, then you’re not evading anything by withholding personal information about yourself. If the question is raised and you don’t answer it or you deliberately give a answer that is open to interpretation, then you’re not validating this intrusion into your personal space by dignifying it with a sincere response; you’re implicitly making a statement which says “I don’t care if you think I’m gay. If I am, that’s my business. If I’m not, that’s my business, too.” In other words, you’re telling the questioner to go bleep themselves by not giving into their demands, which is the right thing to do if you think the question is loaded and unfair. And you’re still being honest.
Lying, in my opinion, is different because you’re caving into pressures to conform. You’re validating the stigma associated with being different by telling the world what you think they want to hear. “Is this your boyfriend?” If he really is your boyfriend and you deny it, then your actions say that there is something wrong with having a boyfriend. That makes it that much harder for the next person confronted with that question to be honest.
Irrelevent. I have been physically assaulted more than once for nothing more than being gay but that does not change my belief that it is wrong to lie.
As Irishgirl says, if you feel you must, then fudge, hedge or avoid the issue as you choose but outright lying is not ethical.