Great, another reason why I don’t get dates.
I was laid off from my good job with benefits 2 years ago. I haven’t found permanent employment since, although I’m trying and I am working, through a temp agency. There is no ‘affordable’ heath insurance for me at this time. I hope to have it in the future, but I don’t have it now. Well, working as a temp probably means I don’t make enough money to take women out on dates anyway. So it is a moot point.
It wouldn’t be a dealbreaker, but it would be a point of concern. I want someone who knows how to take care of themselves–physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. Not having health insurance might be an indicator that they don’t take proper care of their financial and physical health.
My husband didn’t have it for a while because he was a temp, and I married him anyway. I had gainful employment that would cover both of us. That worked for 2.5 years, while he went back to school and such. However, when I went back to school in January, it was understood that he would get a job with benefits that would cover us both.
So yeah, it’s not that THE MAN needs to have insurance, it’s that one of us needs to be able to get a job with insurance coverage options that will take care of both of us. That’s pretty damn important to me, and if I were single and in the market, I’d be looking for a guy who valued himself and myself enough to ensure that between the two of us, we’d have at least one job with decent benefits. Even if that job was mine. (Taking care of each other while we go back to school would be a separate requirement.)
What a lot of you need to remember is that the original OP specified that the women denying him the booty supposedly because he didn’t have insurance were all single mothers. Something happens when you become a mother- you realize that the choices that you make, including and especially your choices in men, won’t affect just you, but your children as well. And your decisions can be end being a lot different than they would have if you didn’t have kids and it was just you. I have a moral responsibility to my kids, not to mention a biological imperative, to, if I am going to mate again, ensure that my mate is stable, including financially and including physically. Having health insurance is a good sign of both. Some folks just can’t seem to wrap their head around this concept, and call it “gold digging”. When I date, I’m not looking to get rich, no, but neither am I looking for what someone above correctly identified as a liability.
But there’s really no point in being butt-hurt by it, because in the end, everyone is allowed to make their own rules about who they will and will not date, and why.
It’s a data point that may indicate different life priorities. I have never been without health insurance and I think it’s stupid to do so unless there is really no other alternative. When I was laid off I decided that the COBRA coverage was too expensive so one of my first priorities was finding individual insurance. It wasn’t great insurance but it meant that if I got hit by a truck it wouldn’t destroy me financially for years to come. If I were seeing a guy and found that he didn’t have insurance I would want to know why. Is he living frugally and still can’t afford it? OK, that sucks and I can sympathize. Does he have a pre-existing condition that’s preventing him from getting insurance? Again, sucky and totally understandable. Would he rather spend the money on eating out, video games and other luxuries? Why would you gamble with your life that way? In that case it might be a dealbreaker depending on how serious a relationship I was looking for.
A mate of mine works for a major U.K. insurer and has told me this.
Not long ago, a guy in my social circle died. He was 40. We were all shocked…we had no idea he was sick.
It turned out that he had diabetes and had to drop his health insurance because he could no longer afford it. I guess he couldn’t afford the doctor visits, prescriptions, etc. so he did the best he could and it wasn’t good enough.
If you have a pre-existing condition, good luck affording individual health insurance. Waiting until you’re identified with something like that is a big gamble IMO.