And ‘faulty prioritization’ is an executive function. That doesn’t work in some people.
And now I’ll be late for work because my ‘faulty prioritization’ said that I ought to try to disabuse people of the notions they hold that allow them to abuse others.
Therein lies the key. If you’re interested in being punctual, you will be, most of the time.
I POSTED A WHOLE BUNCH OF LINKS ALREADY!!!
WTF is up with you?
But doing all of that takes effort.
I have to go but go find the ADHD e-guide online and read chapter 9. It’s about kids but the deficits don’t go away.
BTW, it’s interesting to see how hard some people fight to have their ignorance unfought.
Actually I’d call that pretty much the definition of an excuse.
And I’m sorry, but despite your valiant attempts to convince me that the world is teeming with millions upon millions of adults who cannot tell time even with a watch, for whom even the most simple concepts of mathematics are an insurmountable task, who are essentially helpless, childlike individuals floating through life in a timeless void, to be pitied and indulged but never criticized, because to do so is unmatched cruelty—I’m just not buying it. I can tell you’re convinced, and that it makes you feel better to believe it, but it simply isn’t credible. (And your links certainly prove nothing of the sort.)
:rolleyes: Not that kind of ‘interest’.
Are you planning to read the links? Learn about this?
BlasterMaster, one aspect of your posts I notice is that you seem to feel that if you arrive early someplace, the time until the actual appointment will then be wasted. You also don’t seem to be able to think about things to do while you wait–like the exams, where you didn’t think of studying onsite. I would suggest that you think about productive things you can do when you arrive early; people who are happy to arrive a few minutes early usually have something they do with that waiting time, such as organizing a planner, studying, reading, knitting, doing some work, and so on. That way the time is productive, and the anxiety about lateness is gone; you simply transfer some of your work to a different place and are ready for the appointment at the same time.
So, for example, if I have a meeting with a work associate, and I have some materials to look at before I do so, I’ll spend some time reading the material and then take it along so that I can review it again when I get there if I arrive early. I have a friend who consistently shows up a few minutes early to my house and then sits in her van, making out grocery lists or reviewing her plans for the next day.
Presumably, as a student, you usually have something to study, so why not study when you arrive early?
Also, your account of time ‘disappearing’ is really kind of strange. I do think it would be interesting to videotape you getting ready in the morning!
:mad: Said nothing of the sort
What part of ‘chronic lateness’ listed as a symptom of ADD did you miss? How hard is that to understand?
I’m not buying it as a general symptom of ADD because plenty of ADD sufferers don’t find it difficult to substitute outside stimuli for an inner “feel” for time. Not only that, but I don’t believe for a second that most chronically tardy people are even suffering from ADD. I think they’re suffering from “I’m-more-important-than-you” syndrome.
I think the gap in understanding lies in that you can’t really prove whether someone is late becasue of ADD or soemthing else.
As I commented in the Pit thread, it’s weird to see people claim essentially to be brain damaged or retarded.
If someone is capable of holding down a job, she is capable of buying a day planner, writing down her appointments, and setting her watch to remind her of said appointments. If the problem truly is that she loses track of time, this is the solution.
I don’t understand the point of your comment as a response to the comment of mine that you quoted.
You seem to me to simply be providing another example of the fact that moral claims and claims about deficiencies in character are being made here about people who tend to be late. And that’s the point of the very comment you quoted.
-FrL-
You have provided cites that (IIRC) 4% of the population may have ADD/ADHD, and that lateness can be a significant symptom of that condition.
You have provided absolutely nothing to show what percentage of people who are chronically late in fact have ADD/ADHD.
We all agree with you that at least some people who are chronically late are that way because of ADD/ADHD. But I, at least, see no showing that ADD/ADHD is the sole - or even most prevalent - reason for tardiness. It may well be (tho I doubt it.) But whether it is, nothing you provided as yet shows it. If you feel it does, please direct me to the specific language, and I will readily apologize for my error.
I am unable to be more clear than that, and I am uncertain why you are unable or unwilling to see this distinction. But I am not particularly interested in stating the same thing any more.
This is the comment that finally made me want to jump in on this thread. After college, I spent 6 years working at a state school for the mentally retarded. One of the dorms had people who were severely retarded (IQ of 20-35) who also had pretty severe behavioral problems. This was a locked dorm with constant supervision, so serious were the behavioral issues. Now, if ANY people could be said to “not be able to help themselves” when it comes to their actions, it would be the residents of this dorm.
There were a handful of staff who were brutal when it came to enforcing discipline on this dorm. I’m talking about dealing out serious pain when the residents didn’t “behave”. These residents, even though they had severe retardation, would look out of the window at shift change to see who was coming on duty. If they saw one of these staff members coming, they would IMMEDIATELY go to their chairs and stay quietly seated for the entire 8 hour shift unless told otherwise. If these residents are able to choose their behavior, then anyone can.
I have a very hard time believing that anyone of normal IQ is fundamentally unable to control being late to every appointment they have, ADD or not. The consequences of doing so are simply not severe enough to warrant a change in behavior. When those consequences are of a dire nature (losing one’s job, for instance), the behavior does not occur. If a person with ADD or some other disability is able to show up on time for a job, then he is able to show up on time for other things. I’m not saying it is equally easy for everyone to do so. In fact, the effort may be so great and the repercussions mild enough that it is not worth it to that person. But it IS a choice.
If it is a moral claim it is on the level of “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” or " Please don’t treat me that way." Asking for respect is not asserting moral superiority, at least not in the smug and high-handed manner that you say it is. The fact that respect may or may not be a moral concept (and I would be interested in your support of that assertion,) does not make every conversation about respect a philosophical treatise, and stating that A does not respect B is not an implication of the moral superiority of A. At most, and I say this guardedly, so that we can continue the dialogue, it is an assertion of moral superiority in one tiny instance. And only then if B asserts that he respects A. Your attempt to make it seem like a general comment on the relative moral character of the two people involved is foolish, IMO. If the lowest scumbag drug dealing father raper motherfucker in the hood upbraids the head of the soup kitchen for standing him up, is he claiming to be a better person? Of course not. Similarly, if I complain to you about your tardiness, and state that it shows a lack of respect for me, I am not claiming to be your moral superior. For all I know, it may be your only flaw, while I am riddled with them. Stop trying to make this about the behavior of the people who actually keep their word.
And I will ask you again (for the third time, I think) why do you have so little regard for the promises you make?
QG’s argument doesn’t rely on a premise that the sole or most prevalent reason for lateness is ADD/ADHD (or any other disjunct of brain disorders). The premise is just that:
It is plausible that someone you know who is chronically late may very well be so as a result of a brain disfunction.
If it is possible that this is the case–if it is plausible that there is a decent chance (note a “decent chance” doesn’t mean "more than a 50% chance) that any given “late” person may well suffer from some such disfunction–then QG’s point is, as far as I can see, made.
-Kris
I’ve been misunderstood. What I said would be “asserting moral superiority” was to say “It is disrespectful to X and that is at least part of why I generally succeed in not Xing.” The superiority part comes in the final phrase, which is not in itself part of “asking for respect.”
I have also used the phrase “impugning character.” I have intended this to mean something different than “asserting moral superiority.” By “impugning character” I mean a comment such as: “To do Y is thereby to do something which shows negative character trait Z.” So for example “Being late shows a disrespectful attitude.” This is not to claim moral superiority, it is merely to impugn character.
I myself am not one of the chronically late people we are discussing. But I can answer in the following way. Your question presumes the debate we are having is already settled. In other words, the question presumes that people who are chronically late have little regard for the promises they make. But that is exactly what is being debated on this thread–whether in fact chronic lateness is, in itself, a sign that someone does not care to keep her own promises. The argument from QG and others is that it may well be that a chronically late person cares to keep her own promises, but is unable to do so.
-FrL-