I’ve been lurking on this website for a while now, content to just read through the various boards of TSD and broaden my horizon of human opinion and thought.
So, I guess, I could say congratulations for being the thread that finally pushed me over the edge to register and make a post.
Up until just recently, for nearly a decade of my life - from puberty to young adulthood - I was an avowed atheist, quite strict in my anti-religious beliefs, and sometimes even outright militant, hostile to people of the faith in general as I’d believe you would say that you are.
I didn’t have any single spiritual moment of awakening, or revelation, and I didn’t awaken one morning out of a dream where God spoke to me and provided me with existence of the Divine. My feelings on God, religion, higher powers, and all that good stuff have been something that I’ve been struggling with for the past few years; you can’t imagine how stressful it was for a hardcore atheist to suddenly begin to feel religious, especially when it ran counter to all of the beliefs that I had held dear for the past decade.
Eventually, though, I “converted”. It wasn’t a single event, as I mentioned, and I don’t consider myself a “born again Christian” or any of that trite nonsense. It was just something I eventually acquiesced to as I continued to think about things. I won’t go into great detail, since my specific beliefs are tertiary to the conversation at hand, but I do consider myself “religious” rather than “spiritual” as I follow theologies lain out over the past two thousand years by people far more educated and knowledgeable in these matters than I am.
The reason I bring all of this up, though, is because I want to emphasize the fact that - believe me - I know where you’re coming from. I’ve believed for a large part of my mature life that religion is a joke, is a detriment to humanity, and I’ve believed at some points that it should be outright banned for the good of us all.
I’m not saying that you’ll “grow out” of your beliefs, or that you’re just “in a phase” or whatever nonsense somebody else might tell you. Everybody’s course through their (anti)theological beliefs is their own, and where you’ll be in ten years is just as much of a mystery to me as where I’ll be in ten years.
What I am trying to say, instead, is that there are plenty of people who believe themselves to be just as rational and logical as yourself, and who are yet religious, with myself counted amongst that number. I will make an assumption here that you believe a rational religious person to be an oxymoron, a paradox, that religion is inherently anti-rational; I cannot blame you for having such a belief, as many certain religious beliefs held by many certain religious denominations and believers are anti-rational. “God put dinosaur bones in the dirt to test our faith in the Scripture!” A completely anti-rational belief, one of sadly very many such anti-rational religious beliefs, and one that I vehemently disagree with. But religion as a whole isn’t necessarily composed of nonsense like that, and can follow very rational and logical guidelines in terms of understanding the world and our place in it.
However, all such silliness of that sort aside, I’m certain that you believe that the very act of believing in a higher power is anti-rational. As you say, there is no definitive, empirical, physical evidence of a higher power existing. So what’s the difference between believing in God and believing in little green men from Mars?
Little green men from Mars are, intrinsically, a part of our physical, rational universe. If you want to believe in little green men from Mars that probe your anus on a nightly basis, that would be an anti-rational belief unless you can provide physical evidence of physical little green men from physical Mars existing in our physical universe to physically probe your physical anus on a physically nightly basis.
God, or any other higher power, would not be a part of our physical and rational universe, by their very definitions. This means that it would be literally impossible to provide physical or rational evidence of a higher power existing, as they exist outside of the laws and rules of our physicality and rationality - thus, a “higher power”, unbound by the same things that we are. Anybody that attempts to prove the existence of God or a higher power through physical or rational evidence is on a fool’s errand, since it would be like trying to prove the existence of apples by examining oranges. If you see a religious person attempting to provide physical or rational evidence of the existence of God or another higher power, this is, indeed, an anti-rational act.
But, what’s my point? I’ve been rambling on for paragraphs and paragraphs, but what am I trying to say here?
The leap to faith is an action that exists outside of physical, logical norms of rationality and anti-rationality; where-as rationality and anti-rationality exist on one scale, faith and lack of faith exist on an entirely different, completely unrelated scale. While one may logically examine the consequences that proclaiming an axiom of faith or an axiom of lack of faith results in, one may not attempt to logically prove or disprove either axiom, since axioms, by their nature, exist outside of the realm of “proof” and “disproof”.
tl;dr read some kierkegaard, maybe some augustine or aquinas if you think you can stomach reading catholic theologians