My daughter’s aunt (twin sister of my ex-husband) has just been diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. They think it started in her lungs but what ultimately sent her to the hospital was a pain in her hip and a mass on her hip bone.
I’d like to console my niece with whom I’m fairly close but I just don’t know what to say. I’m thinking stage IV means - it’s just a matter of time. I don’t want to give her false hope if the situation is indeed hopeless. I’d also like to send a card of flowers but don’t want to send a cheery “get well soon” if she’s dying. (though, now that I think of it, that’s probably the best option, what else would you send?)
She’s starting chemo but I can’t help but wonder if there’s even a chance that she’ll recover or add an appreciable amount of time to her life.
Nothing I’ve read on line will actually give any statistics and I don’t know what her prognosis is (I’m getting my information second and third hand from my daughter who’s sketchy on the details).
Anyone have any experience or knowledge or maybe a web site to shed some light?
Thanks.
From what I’m finding, (regarding non-small cell lung cancer)
About Cancer | Cancer Research UK (That is about 60% of the way down the page) Of course, we don’t have all the information and this particular statistic may not even be relevent to her case.
I wouldn’t say it is hopeless, but it sounds like the odds are certainly stacked against her. I was hoping to find better news for you, I’m very sorry to hear this and will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
This anecdote may give you some degree of hope, but temper it, of course. The situation is not identical by any means. My sister was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer last August. They told her it was inoperable. She, of course, freaked, as did the rest of us. Some months later, they had re-evaluated her situation. Her doctor said her condition had not really worsened, that she apparently had a very slow growing version and that he had never seen someone die of her disease in 20 years, although it could become more agressive over time. By November, she had had a small part of her lung removed. There was another spot that was to be treated some how at a later date. They have decided to remove that spot in a “minor” operation. They could have let it go for some time, as it was not progressing at all, apparently. When this is gone, her situation will essentially be that she is “cured” although that’s really a bit of an exaggeration. On the other hand, she says she feels she’s received a reprieve of major proportions. She does seem to have a lot of years in front of her, however.
At work the clinical staff recommend Cancerbacup’s website to patients and their families. It has lots of good information including information on how to talk to your family about cancer.