Thanksgiving Day a bunch of years ago, a friend of the family came over, we’ll call him Hank. Mostly because it’s his name, but that’s another story*. He liked to go to gearage sales and flea markets and stuff and buy crappy old toys and fix them up. And old radios. He fixed up old radios and then just gave them away. He just liked to fix things.
Anyway, he brought along some of his recently renovated toys. One was the cymbal monkey. Another toy he broght was this spider thing that would hop around and wiggle when you made a noise. It would shimmy and shake across the floor for a while then stop, waiting for the next noise.
Well, the cymbal monkey makes noise when it slaps its cymbals together. (Duh) It makes enough noise to set of Timmy the Epileptic Spider. So bang, bang, bang goes the cymbals and hip, hop, shimmy, shake goes Timmy.
Timmy wanders around the floor aimlessly and the monkey is sitting there with his legs kinda spread. (You see where this is going?) Well, Timmy blunders into the monkey’s crotch and wriggles and jounces there for a few seconds. If this isn’t funny enough (yes, it is too funny) this is when the monkey opens his eyes real wide and bares its teeth and goes eek, eek, eek!.
This had us rolling!
After the teeth baring, the monkey takes a breather. He stops shrieking and banging his cymbals and gets quiet. In the quiet, the spider quits hopping around in the monkey’s crotch. All is calm.
Then the monkey starts banging his cymbals again and the spider starts banging the monkey. Oh! The huge-manatees! It was funny.
So not all cymbal monkeys are evil. Some are perverted sex fiends.
*The story of Hank
Once upon a time a woman had a baby boy. “We’ll call him Hank.”
The end.
(I didn’t say it was an interesting story)
-Rue.