Is the Flash bored most of the time?

Cafe Society
#1

In order for the Flash to run around with super-speed, his brain has to be processing information just as quickly, right? Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to respond to what was coming up fast enough and he’d always be tripping over or slamming into things.

But doesn’t that mean that when he’s NOT running everything would seem to be happening in slow motion? Is carrying on a conversation with a normal human being incredibly tedious because (from the Flash’s perspective) it takes an eternity just to say “hello”? Would watching a half-hour sitcom be like sitting through a week-long movie marathon where almost nothing happened?

Just how bored is the Flash with everyday life?

#2

I’m pretty sure his girlfriend is frustrated. :wink:

#3

Interesting thought…

My take is that he can turn his super-speediness (physical and mental) on and off at will, and he’s just a normal guy most of the time. So no, he wouldn’t get painfully bored with everyday life – no more so than the rest of us anyway.

But I am by no means versed in Flash canon. No idea if this point has been broached in the comics.

#4

I have this very vague memory that in one of the comic books, he said he couldn’t go to movies as he saw each frame as a still photo.

#5

Speeding Bullet, the speedster from the first issue of Common Grounds said that. He also couldn’t have sex, because his mind would wander, he’d speed up, and give his partner friction burns. He also had to eat copiously, because he had an insane metabolism. All in all life kind of sucked for the Bullet.

Flash is one (well…4) of the few speedsters not to have a serious side-effect to their speed - they can live at a normal pace, and just turn on the speed when they need it. (Although Bart Allen, the fourth Flash (currently back to Kid Flash, as Wally West and Barry Allen are both back) took a few years before he got to this point - he’s technically about 6 years old, though biologically a mid-late teen - mentally, more like early teen).

Quicksilver, the main speedster at Marvel, had issues with his attention span, too. Jeff Walters (the speedster from DP7) had the same issues with his accelerated metabolism. Bart, as well as his cousins Jai and Iris West spent some time with accelerated growth, so they’re all biologically (and mentally) somewhat older than they are chronologically - although all 3 have stabilized.

#6

Peter David gave the first real and best insight into Quicksilver in issue #87(?) of X-Factor. The team is sent to a psychiatrist after the events of the latest crossover.

He’s a jerk because his entire life is like being stuck behind someone who doesn’t know how to use an ATM or someone paying for groceries with handfuls of change.

#7

I last read comic books in the early 70’s so The Flash may have been first. :wink:

#8

When you drive, you aren’t consciously thinking about every action, unless you are a new driver or encounter a situation where you need to react to brake suddenly etc. Presumably, the Flash operates similarly when he is speeding around, and thus his conscious mind is mostly free to wander at a normal pace, or not at all.

#9

My problem with the Flash is that he is running toward the bad guy, who then says, “Oh look! Here comes the Flash!” and shoots at him. Then the Flash dodges the bullet and captures the bad guy. If the Flash is moving that fast, the bad guy should not see him, let alone have a chance to shoot at him.

The other problem is, the Flash has the magic aura to protect him from friction. THen how exactly can he run? Either the aura protects the bottom of his feet from being burned up by friction, in which case he would slip like he was on ice, or it doesn’t, in which case he would wear his feet away to nubs with his first coast-to-coast run.

And a certain amount of friction is necessary for a satisfactory conclusion to the sex act, even if the Flash slows down and thinks about baseball.

I think too much about these kinds of things. Like how anyone could deflower Supergirl, or avoid being squished like toothpaste by the contractions when the Moment arrives for her once you were past the Hymen of Steel.

Regards,
Shodan

#10

I always wondered why the Flash didn’t just get tired all the time. They’d show him running across the United States to stop a bomb from blowing up. Okay, sure it only took him a second to run that far but it’s still three thousand miles. Who the heck runs three thousand miles?

#11

Have you heard the Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim’s Big Ego? It’s a lament by the Flash about how bored and lonely he is, being cut off from relating to other humans.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odU1bHaYNDQ

The songwriter and singer is Jim Infantino, the nephew of Carmine Infantino who worked for DC, including on Flash comics.

#12

That’s actually very poignant.

#13

Larry Niven gave it lots of thought.

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.

#14

You know I never liked that essay. Mr. Niven always assumes the worst possible and frequently contradictory positions. Sometimes the assumption is that Kryptonians are exactly like humans and sometimes the assumption is that they are nothing like humans. But whatever the assumption, it is always the worst possible for Supes and LL.

#15

Terry Fox.

#16

I haven’t read up on the properties of the Speed Force lately, but IIRC, its unique qualities are the reasons why most of the non-practical things about super speed are practical.

#17

Except that that’s neither how the Flashes’ powers work, nor in character for any of them.

Even if Jay’s powers did work like that (and until recently he couldn’t do better than the speed of sound, so his perceptions wouldn’t be that fast), he’d never complain.

Barry was the most laid back guy ever. If his perceptions and attention span were permanently sped up, he’d be as hyperactive as a squirrel on crack. (Like Bart can be.) And never late for anything.

Wally’s the Flash under whose tenure the Speed Force reveal happened, making it pretty seriously explicit that he can turn off the powers (or have them turned off).

Bart positively revelled in the fact that he could speed up his perception (enough to read the entire San Francisco Public Library collection in an hour).

#18

Did Supes ever get it on with Wonder Woman?

#19

He tried but the Invisible Man was in the way.

#20

He should update that to consider in vitro fertilization.