“You’re Chinese? I’ll bet you’re really good at math!”
None of those statements are, strictly speaking, disparaging. Would you say that they are also not racist? Do you think it would be incorrect to describe a person using one of those sentences in earnest as a bigot?
Millions.
Assuming you mean the collective “you” there, of course. It’s been the consistent position of every major gay rights organization of the last two decades that opposition to SSM represents an intolerable form of bigotry. Despite the dire warning of well meaning straight people, like yourself, that such language was divisive and counter-productive, today more than half the country is in favor of marriage equality. Including noted former bigot and President of the United States, Barrack Obama.
So, yeah, that whole “calling people bigots” thing? Works like a charm.
That topic being, “Do homosexuals deserve the same rights in society as heterosexuals.”
There’s something fundamentally defective in your definition of bigotry if saying bad things about a person makes you a bigot, but actively working to limit their legal rights does not.
Untrue. You perceive SSM as a right. I perceive SSM as a right. A person who does not recognize SSM as a reality does not perceive its denial as a denial of rights.
There is something defective in your definition of bigotry if you have to pretend that the object of your derision perceives the world in the same way that you do and you erroneously claim that he is “denying” a right regarding a reality that he does not even recognize exists.
If you think that calling people bigots had anything to do with it, then I think you are seriously misled.
Making sure that people understood the normalcy of homosexuality played a major role. The leadership of acceptance by many public figures played a role.
Calling people names? Not so much.
Aside from jsgoddess, I have never met a person who has changed their view who even mention bigotry in any context. I have never heard anyone say “I used to be bigoted or prejudiced until I was awakened to my error.” (Which is a statement I have heard from a number of people regarding racism.)
Hilarious. Does this go for every right? All I have to do is deny that someone has the right to life, property, freedom, and suddenly I’m not a bigot? In fact, I CAN’T be a bigot because I don’t perceive the denial as as a denial of rights?
I now see that what I read as “Aside to jsgoddess…” was “Aside from jsgoddess…” which is a huge difference.
My apologies for my snarky response and reading failure. Stupid prepositions!
For your real point, instead of my stupid bad reading, I think you’d be surprised how many people will come right out and say they used to be bigoted and/or prejudiced against gays.
You have provided anecdotal evidence. I accept that. The claim was that “millions” were changed by being threatened with a charge of bigotry. I do not see the evidence for that. I do not see public testimony from multiple people. I do not see studies, either by Gallup or sociologists. I have never personally heard a similar claim from any other person. You are the single personal testimony I have encountered to that point. I do not deny your history or claim that you are the only person ever to have that experience. I do not see the evidence that your experience matched that of the 27% of the people in the U.S. whose views changed between 1996 and 2012.
To be fair, we don’t know that he was working to hurt us same sex couples. There’s a huge difference between disagreeing with and actively working to stop SSM.
I think any individual’s coming to accept gay marriage, as millions of people have come to do over the past five years or so, includes a feeling of not wanting to be perceived as a bigot – one feels one’s personal opinions move more or less along with the surrounding society (local, regional, national, global…), and is relieved to find oneself still outside the now-expanded societal definition of what constitutes a “bigot” – but fear of being called a bigot has rarely, if ever, been the sole reason for someone’s change in attitude, I think.
Fear of being called a bigot by someone you love, admire, trust, or respect can be more persuasive than any concern of being called a bigot by a stranger on a message board.
If you call me a bigot, well, shrug. But if my sister calls me a bigot, that’s gonna hurt. If all my friends look at me funny and say, “Huh? You still haven’t figured that out?” I’m going to feel pretty dumb.
But I do agree this sort of thing only works at the very tail end of a major consensus shift. When public opinion is evenly divided, then such name-calling doesn’t have much effect.
When someone says “abortion is murder” I don’t feel the sting at all. When PETA says “meat is murder” most of us just laugh.
Yeah, I don’t get the “role model” argument, either. I have two parents, one of each gender, but my mother was not my sole role model for female behaviour and my father was not my sole role model for male behaviour. How could they be, neither of them has the superhuman ability to represent all aspects of their particular gender. I had other adults in my life - other relatives, teachers, even characters on TV - which helped inform my views on gender roles and human roles in general.
How do “role model” proponents feel about heterosexual couples where, for example, Daddy is in the Navy and away most of the time? Is that okay, or does Daddy have to be regularly present, role-modelling and such?
"Only white people should be allowed to vote, because white people have good moral character. Except some white people don’t, but we accept it as a fundamental consequence of freedom.
Only white people should be allowed to vote, because white people have higher intelligence. Except some white people don’t, but we let those cases go for ease of administration."
Not that I’m in a hurry to be yelled at for a bigot, but superior moral character and intelligence of white people is up for debate; the role of the sexes in mammalian reproduction is not.