I am so obtuse on names I am always gobsmacked when someone remembers mine.
I didn’t just remember your name, I remembered the name of your parrot, too.
The problem here is that it is not just a set up for a joke, but a set up for a racial/religious stereotype.
We all know when a word is used as in insult, but some people will pretend they don’t. I know someone who used the phrase ‘black b******d’ and defend himself by saying 'black was a factual description, but we all knew it was meant in an insulting way.
The word ‘jew’ can be used in different ways. The phrase ‘jew boy’ is insulting (not sure how much it is used outside the UK) but any defence by saying it is factually correct would be laughed at.
For instance, one can avoid capitalizing it. I’d recommend you not do that.
My mother went to a Catholic high school, because the public school local to her family had a terrible graduation rate, and also because the Catholic school had a very impressive college-acceptance rate, and my grandparents wanted their kids to go to college. She apparently did get a good education there, because she said that the first three or so semesters of college were mostly review.
My parents sent me to a private elementary school that was nominally Catholic, but also in an affluent and highly liberal part of California. (That’s “highly liberal” compared to the rest of California.) The religious instruction part of the curriculum had been in steady decline for years, and stopped entirely by the time I was in the third grade, because almost literally none of the families had sent their kids there because it was Catholic, they’d sent them because it had good academic credentials - about a quarter of my classmates were Jewish or Hindu.
My son went to a Jewish preschool that was actually IN a synagogue, in a very liberal, college town in a very red state (Indiana). Only about half the kids there were Jewish. This was partly because the school had an excellent reputation (which it deserved; I worked there part-time while my son was enrolled).
But, in addition to having a few students who belonged to nominally Christian families (the twice-a-year church, Christmas-is-Santa types), the school also had most of the kids from atheist families, and non-Christian religious families, which is understandable when they are Baha’i or Hindi, because there probably are not enough families to support a separate preschool, but more surprisingly, we had a number of Muslim families. Just like the atheists and Baha’is, they felt their children got so much Christianity from the world at large, and SOOOOOOO much Christmas, they wanted their children’s school to be a sanctuary from it, even if it was Jewish. That says a lot about how interwoven the relentless season of mirth is in this world.
It’s obvious to me since I don’t participate, and it’s work not to participate, but also because I once spent Christmas in Israel, where I could relax, and let it be just another day. And also where I got a chance to talk to some Israelis who had grown up in Israel, then spent time in the US, and told me their perspective on US Christmas.
My mom actually likes Christmas time even though she’s Jewish and Israeli living in the US because to her Christmas Music = Disneyland
Eta: but she only hears it at malls and such (you know, when its not 2020) because she obviously doesn’t play it at home
My mother, who was an atheist at heart, despite keeping a kosher home for 30 years for the sake of family harmony, and because she believed in being Jewish whether or not she believed in G-d, married a gentile several years after my father had died. She said “We not going to be having children, so who cares?” and at that point, most of the relatives she kept kosher for were dead.
She still celebrated all the Jewish holidays, and my stepfather happily participated in seders, and helped make shlach manos, and even kept kosher for Passover, because it was just easier.
But they did Christmas, and my mother, I think, enjoyed it. My stepfather was nominally Lutheran, but Christmas eve was the only time he ever went to church, unless one of his brothers was visiting on Easter, then he went on Easter as well.
They had a tree, and for Christmas day, my mother made a nice, celebratory dinner, which looked more like a Shabbes dinner, I think, than a traditional Christmas dinner, with brisket, tsimmes, cholent, and homemade bread, but my stepfather loved it.
I liked the pretty lights they put in the trees in New York; I could do without the music, though. All in all, Christmas is pretty neat when you’re looking at it from the outside.
I’m sure if it were a pagan holiday, I’d like it. It’s the whole “birth of the King of the Jews” I have a problem with. But yes, it is a very pretty holiday.
My parents let me watch all the specials on TV when I was a kid; most of the kids I went to day school with weren’t allowed to, so they’d ask me what they were about, and I’d recite my interpretation of the plots. I went for a long time thinking Santa, Rudolph, and the Heat Miser and Snow Miser were in the Christian bible.
Later, my older cousin said that the specials were essentially “midrash.”
I didn’t learn anything about actual Christian figures until high school, and didn’t really have any idea what was in Christian scriptures until college. I didn’t really know who Paul was until I was 19.
I wish I had a transcript of myself explaining those Christmas specials when I was in the 2nd grade.
It has long been such for many people.
Just treat it as pre-Christians did, as a celebration of the death and rebirth of the sun at solstice time, accompanied by gift-giving and the magic of conifers.
That’s impossible. The nativity story is the jewel in the crown of this relentless season of mirth. People who are not Jewish are free to make whatever merry they wish, but no one who isn’t Jewish can understand how it feels to be Jewish in the middle of a nation like the US at Christmas time.
My stepfather, who is about as unenthusiastic a Christian as one can be without actually repudiating Christianity, told me that he had a family set of manger figures he used to set out every year, but he stopped putting the out after he married my mother. He mentioned it in an off-hand way, and I don’t think it bothered him much; my point is that even people who are religiously non-observant still make token observances of the nativity. Heck, just by calling it “Christmas,” you do that.
My stepfather sent the nativity figures to his daughter, who apparently was happy to get them, even though she is not merely non-Christian, but observes what I think is a form of Hindu, albeit, I’m not sure how much it’s an American variation of it, and how much of it is authentic. She got icons of Hindu gods, practices ayurvedic medicine (she’s done panchakarma twice), and has been to India a few times, refers to a guru from India as “her” teacher, is into yoga and meditation, and believes in reincarnation, karma, dharma, seva, darshan, and so on.
But she also is way into celebrating Christmas. She celebrates holidays like Diwali, but puts out this nativity set for Christmas. She grew up with it, though, and it’s part of her background. I get that.
This is my point: I think if you asked her, she would deny doing anything Christian, or that her Christmas is anything but secular.
I would disagree.
When my wife’s family gave us a bunch of Christmas decorations after we got married, there was a tiny ceramic Nativity scene; we both laughed about how little we care for Jesus and gave it to her sister, whose boyfriend’s family is a bit more religious.
We’re also thinking of getting science and technology themed ornaments for our tree for next year, and calling it a Chemist-Tree.
But even so, I totally understand where you’re coming from.
You clearly never celebrated Christmas with my family. My father is Jewish, my mother was raised Lutheran, and they celebrated an entirely secular Christmas all my life. Tree, presents, stockings, and cookies. There was not the slightest nod to the Christian aspect of it. I was raised to believe that Christianity was something uneducated low-class people practiced for inexplicable reasons. Of course all I knew about Judaism was lox and bagels …
I lived in the United States for 7 years, 5 as a child, 2 as an adult; the remaining 39 years have been in Israel. I’m just another Israeli who grew up in Israel, then spent time in the US, and that’s my perspective on US Christmas.
I think the main difference is that Christianity and its associated mishegas are just not my problem. I don’t feel threatened by it now, and I didn’t feel threatened by it back when I was living there. Maybe because I knew I was coming back to Israel.
I spent a Christmas in Israel, and it was my best Christmas ever.
I think Alessan’s perspective is different. Sometimes Christmas makes me feel trapped. It’s hard to avoid the “Jesus” part of Christmas, for me, when “Christ” is right there in the name. And while it may be that there are families who celebrate Santa and cookies and trees, I find the world inescapable. The entirety of the US is not celebrating a secular Christmas. You can try to be as insular as you want. You can stick your fingers in your ears and scream “Jingle Bells,” but there are an awful lot of people singing “Hark! the Herald Angels,” and “Joy to the World.”
There’s also more to Judaism than lox and bagels. You are missing out, if that’s what you think Judaism is. My Judaism is way more than that, and it isn’t compatible with Christmas.
My mom was Jewish, dad was christian, but our Decembers were secular. A tree, presents from Santa, lox&bagels, apricot cookies (Hamantaschen) etc.
My mom had a menorah that she lit each night, whispering the prayer alone in a corner. When she died, my sister specifically asked for the menorah. She texted me, asking if I knew the prayer she should recite and I was shocked that I knew it!
Oh for pity’s sake, I was a CHILD at the time. I knew even less about Christianity, believe it or not. My upbringing was aggressively secular, but I didn’t know that at the time. Somewhat interestingly, one of my sisters married a Jew and converted. (Since our last name was Levine, his mother was able to tell people he was marrying a nice Jewish girl by eliding some of the facts). I converted to Catholicism, and I have another sister who practices Wicca. We all celebrate our respective faiths with our families at home and meet near the winter solstice to celebrate Secular Christmas.
I grew up in a secular Jewish household. We gave and received gifts for Xmas. There was no tree, manger or other accoutrements. Mrs. J. (a lapsed Methodist) and I have long celebrated the holiday in an enjoyably secular way, including a tree decorated with her many Xmas ornaments (my personal favorites include Santa in the form of a hot air balloon, a flying monkey from the Wizard of Oz and of course the small Satanic head that reigned atop the tree this year).
I understand that observant Jews may well have a different view of the season. But a non-Christian observance is there for the taking. 