I know the post office is a federal institution, and has many federal protections, but is Post Office land considered Federal Land? And if so, if someone stole a customers car from the Post Offices Parking Lot, would this constitute a federal crime? Would the FBI have to investigate? If someone pickpocketed a customer while in line inside the Post Office, is this a Federal crime?
Is the US Post office Federal Property? Is customer car stolen from its parking lot a Federal crime?
39 CFR § 232.1 - Conduct on postal property.
Long list of misdeeds, then this:
So yes, misbehave on USPS property (owned or leased) and you’ll see a federal judge or magistrate, same as in national parks, monuments, forests, and cemeteries. USPS is a federal agency. Don’t screw with The Eagle.
Well, I’ll be. I had always thought that was a roadrunner in that logo. Well, learn something new every day. Anyway, wouldn’t a roadrunner be a better bird for mail delivery than some raptor?
“Don’t screw with The Eagle” is a metaphor I picked up from an old right-wing tech writer whose name I forget. “The Eagle” symbolizes the federal government, which generally possesses greater resources than we mere mortals. Ben Franklin wanted the wild turkey as the USA national bird but somehow “Don’t screw with The Turkey” lacks emphasis.
I’d tell my brief roadrunner-as-alarm-clock anecdote but it’s off-topic, sorry. And a roadrunner as a mail carrier? The coyote would be in Danbury in nothing flat! Beep.
Nah. He’d be flat in Danbury!
Official Paint Job of the U. S. Eagle Postal Air Mail Fleet! ( 
)
Okay, that’s just a pic of a radio-controlled scale model.
I’ve seen both roadrunners ad eagles holding prey in their beaks. I doubt they’re delivering.
BTW my cousin was postmaster in an exotic locale and so should have known better but he drove his XKE a bit too fast across nearby National Park Service territory, which led to facing his pal, the federal magistrate. Guilty as charged. Don’t screw with The Eagle even if you are The Eagle yourself.
Well, it’d surely be the Post Office Inspection Service, not the FBI.
And from what I’ve heard the postal inspectors are to be feared more than the fbi but still less than the irs.
Yeah, I remember one time that I was appearing before a mag j, and the case before mine involved some yahoos who did something minor - maybe speeding - in a nat’l park. Little did they know that they were committing a federal offense!