I can’t tell from your post if you’re actually on the right track yet or not.
Solvent: able to meet one’s financial responsibilities.
Useless Rear is just sort of a polite way to say Worthless Ass, but W.A. doesn’t work into the intended acronym unless you speak Brooklynese…but then the rest of it would be all wrong.
[Moderator watch ON]
Who said anything about letting you rant? We do have a place for rants on the Straight Dope, namely our BBQ Pit forum. if you’d like to post your little story there, feel free. You most emphatically do not have permission to rant here, however.