Just now, I’m very seriously considering buying a newer, nicer home, and “very seriously considering” doesn’t quite cover it–my mid-range five-figure down payment is due in the escrow-holder’s account about now, so I’m more than marginally committed. From the outside, it looks like I’ve long since agreed to write this ginornous check, and I’ve been feeling over 90% confident that writing it is a good if scary thing for me to do for a week or more. (The scary part is that it ups my nut up to where I’m break-even on my salary, instead of being able to save several hundred dollars per month as I have been for the last few years.) There is NO good sound reason for me to be feeling reluctant to write out this check, I’ve thought this through thoroughly, it’s something I want to do, but the act of raiding my checking account and then living close to the bone for a few years is still keeping me from actually writing out and mailing this check now.
I will do it, later this morning, and send it to the person who’s been asking me “Where is it?” for the past few days, but it does seem to me that this reluctance might be so common that people who are in the business of receiving these checks probably have a term for people like me, who agree to pay some huge figure but delay actually doing it for an unreasonably long time. (I agreed to mail it off sometime earlier this week, but have been coming up with all sorts of bullshit reasons to put it off until this morning. Even typing out this OP is a part of that bullshit.) Do you ever do this? And on the other end, do you ever have to deal routinely with people like me? I feel that this escrow person is tempted to croon into the phone, “Come on, PRR, just take your checkbook out of your backpack, and open it up, that’s good, that’s very good, now take out a pen, yes any pen will do…” Do they have a name for people like me?
(No, not that name. Or that one. Aw, come on, stop teasing me and answer my question already.)
When I had to write the check for my first and only house, I went into full-fledged panic. It’s a lot of money and a huge commitment , and the future is a shaky thing. Signing that check takes a big leap of faith.
“Cold feet” is good, except I’ve mostly applied it to people who bail entirely in the end. A bridegroom who gets cold feet, in my world, actually leaves his bride standing at the altar. I’m just talking about, maybe, just dragging my feet, which may be the term I’m looking for.
The irrational scary part is what i think must be common (either that, or I’m uncommonly hincty–is ‘hincty’ the word?). I’d be interested from the POV of the person expecting this check days ago. I mean, is she sighing to her husband, “Oh, nothing really, I just have two hincty customers now, and another one may be going there again, nothing major…” I imagine they get this all the time, like I have students failing to hand in their papers on time about 40% of the time. It’s irritating but nothing abnormal.
On second thought it does sound like you’re delaying the process a bit, but not to the point that you’ll actually back out. Maybe “buying your time?” Delaying the inevitable?
I would say risk aversion. Since you mention fear/being scared, I’ll assume the fear is about the possibility that you won’t be happy with the outcome if you buy the house. Presently you have a pile of cash in your hands. It has a known value, and hanging onto it is a low-risk proposition (“a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”). To trade that cash for a home is a risky proposition. You can inspect and evaluate the house all you want, but you’ll never be quite sure that there are no issues with it. What if it gets real creaky when temperatures change? What if the neighbors turn out to be total assholes after you move in? What if the commute to your job ends up being terrible, or you get laid off and end up with a new job 30 miles farther away?
There is all sorts of uncertainty when you buy a house. It’s fraught with risk. If you are careful, you can mitigate that risk and it will probably be a rewarding experience. But if you find yourself thinking “what if” a lot before pulling the trigger, or have a lot of “not sure about this” feelings, then you may experiencing risk aversion.
I’ll third “risk aversion”, and say I have the exact same thing.
I’m actually in a really good financial position right now and I’m at the point where I could afford a deposit on a nice house, BMW etc (sorry to brag, but it’s relevant to the point).
But spending more than $1,000 on anything is fucking scary to me, so I’ve just been paralyzed. I have all this cash but I’m living in a house where I have no access to a kitchen…
OK…there are other reasons for delaying getting my own place, but largely it’s just I’ve got good at saving money now, it’s almost a game. I don’t want to screw it up.
Yeah, exactly. I’ve gotten to this point by developing discipline and good habits, scrimping and saving for a down payment, and now home prices and mortgage rates are where I want them, and it’s a total go–except those good habits of watching my money carefully (being frugal to the point of cheapness) is holding me back.
It’s almost funny. My mind knows what I’ve decided but my check-writing hand hasn’t quite gotten the message yet.
We had this too when we bought a house. We have been scrimping for the past decade, now we are supposed to spend, big time! If you are someone who analyzes all purchases and thinks of $50 as real money, then buying a house will make your crazy. Suddenly you’re paying hundreds of dollors (or more!) for fees and taxes you didn’t even know existed. Your’e just expected to accept it and write the check.