Yeah, his absence has let us make all kinds of assumptions about him and his GF–he’s a teenager, they didn’t use birth control, etc. etc.
hauss, I sympathize for your situation. It just doesn’t seem fair to me that your future depends on the whims of another person who by virtue of their sex can make all the decisions regarding the outcome of your lovemaking, because society has determined that the proceeds of your ejaculation is now her property, not yours. It is ironic that you mentioned that you and her once had an agreement. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Your desire or position on this matter is completely irrelevant and I wish society today would focus on educating young men as to their financial vulnerability if they have sexual intercourse.
If a young man makes “protected” love four times a month, and considering that condoms are effective 97% of the time, that young man will have unprotected sex at least once in a year. Can you imagine driving a car without insurance just one day in the year? If only we could educate young men to urge their partners for oral or anal sex instead.
Yes, child support law does vary from state to state. There are federal guidelines, but the actual law and implementation varies greatly.
If **hauss ** were in Washington, I’d know exactly who to send him to-- mr.stretch is a support enforcement officer who does outreach to our local schools. Mr.stretch pays child support himself so is able to see both sides of the issue fairly well.
Many posters have suggested that hauss seek a lawyer’s advice. I would second this, but also urge you to talk to your local support enforcement office. They will provide you useful information on how to make sure you end up paying the correct amount as determined by law. They can help you determine if there are any deviations to the standard support amounts you can use to reduce your obligation; explain your options for payment; generally, they can give you quite a bit of good information. Then you can compare it with the information you get from the attorney and be better informed of what this will cost you.
Because it is going to cost you. You simply can’t run away from this financial responsibilty. Bankruptcy does not discharge child support debts; leins can be placed on pretty much anything you own; and support enforcement can chase you from state to state, and even outside the country is some circumstances. Employers are required to report new employees to support enforcement so that it can be determined if there needs to be a wage withhold put into place.
Unemployment, workers’ comp, military pay–these things are all available to be garnished. Your bank accounts can be seized if you are in arrears. You can be thrown in jail for non-payment, and then they can take the money in your jail bank account. They get lists of recent arrestees and can claim the money that you had on you when you were arrested.
If you are deliberately under-employed (refuse to work full-time when it’s obvious you could; working beneath your skill level to reduce your income artificially, etc.) they can impute your income to what it should be. It goes on and on and on.
About the only thing they can’t touch is SSI, which is why you are screwed, Spongemom.
As a parent you have a financial responsibility. The state has an interest in making sure that you meet this obligation, so the government will ensure you pay. Mr.stretch’s job is to collect *child * support for the child. He doesn’t enjoy having to babysit a bunch of jerks who can’t be bothered to meet their obligations, but obviously somebody has to do it. Nobody likes a deadbeat.
You don’t have to relieve yourself of child support. The state will garnish your wages for you.
I think I read somewhere that you are in Florida? Here is how you can find your local child support office:
http://www.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/phone.html
Here is more info: [ul]Child Support Enforcement Process:
Child Support Guidelines
Florida Statute (s. 61.30 F.S.) requires guidelines to be used in establishing new child support obligations or modifying existing obligations in a Florida court.
All states are required to have statutory guidelines, but they may vary from state to state.
The Florida guidelines must take into consideration all income and earnings of both parents and the children’s health care needs.[/ul]
Here is a worksheet that can be used to calculate both your financial obligations and hers.
More information on Florida law.
This whole thread breaks my heart.
My son and his wife split up shortly after my only grandchild was born. I told my son that the day I found out he wasn’t paying his child support was the day I would disown him. I had raised my child without support help (my own decision) but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone and I strongly feel that parents (mother and father) have an obligation to provide for the children they create, whether they meant to create that child or not.
My son (22 at the time) complained bitterly about how his ex had it so easy with all the state help and how he had it so hard with a chuck of every dollar he earned going to help her be lazy (his opinion).
Well, my son got out of paying child support after all.
His only child unexpectedly died 5 weeks shy of his second birthday in a freak accident.
My son would happily pay double what he was paying before if only he could have his son back again.
To hear people grip about unwanted children since my only grandchild was taken from us too soon just kills me.
{{{{{{{{nutty}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{nutty son/daughter-in-law}}}}}}}}}
In which I pit undecicive pro-choice dopers.
Make up your mind.
I am very, very sorry for your loss, nutty. And your son’s, and his ex-wife.
Regards,
Shodan
Oh my.
I think that puts the rest of this thread in perspective.
Ah yes. Because anal sex, as we all know, carries no risks at all.
I think…one needs to have been pregnant, to understand how pregnancy can start out as something you’re ambivalent about or even hate with every shred of energy in you, and yet as it goes on, you can’t imagine putting an end to it.
In my second pregnancy (which was twins) I was 15 weeks along before I got over absolutely hating the very thought of it. In my third pregnancy I was 18 or 19 weeks along before I stopped hating it. A few weeks later I was hospitalized with preterm labor issues, and stayed there for 8 weeks. I called my kid every name you can imagine - verminbaby, parasite, alien invader - but it would have gone against everything in me, to have said “I hate this, therefore I will have the thing inside me killed, and I will be free of it.” It’s not a thing you necessarily rationalize. It’s like running into a burning house to save a puppy. It goes against all reason, but you do it anyway, and it wouldn’t matter if you had an agreement with somebody beforehand. Instinct takes over. If hauss were to go this GF and say, you agreed you’d kill it, why aren’t you killing it? it would prove just how little he understands either women or instinct.
When I was younger, and dating in college, it would have been a relief to me to have my dates exercise some restraint in their ardor, regardless of their reasons. I got very tired of always being the one to say ‘no’. See, I was afraid of getting pregnant. It never seemed to really worry them. But then, they weren’t the ones who’d be getting pregnant, after all.
hauss has been back to the Board.
Didn’t have the…desire… to post here, though… :dubious:
Yeah, I can’t tell what’s up with that. There are apparently two people with access to that account; one is 19, one is 23. Don’t know which one is the “owner” of the account. Don’t know which one has the pregnant GF. Don’t know if the dad-to-be is the same person who starts pro-life threads in GD. For that matter, don’t know if there really IS a pregnant GF. Whole thing could be a work.
Well, yeah, but would a guy let himself be abused in four pages of this thread and that never-ending Pit thread for a joke?
I know I don’t understand everybody’s senses of humor in the world, but geez.
Neither of the threads have fallen off the first pages, so it’s not like he couldn’t see them. Strange.
Not necessarily a joke; more like an experiment. If this thread was started by the same person who started the pro-life thread in GD, perhaps he was presenting a hypothetical without designating it as such.
As I said, there seem to be two people using the same account. Hard to tell if the dad-to-be is the same one who “loves” dirt bikes. If the dad-to-be is not the one who “owns” the user account, perhaps he hasn’t been able to get back on the boards since starting this thread. But somebody signed on to ask about dirt bike motors in GQ. By now, somebody could have posted under the name of hauss, in either this thread or the Pit trainwreck, with an explanation or an update.
Guess that’s it, then.