I know that you didn’t mean to imply that college professors are lazy or that being a college professor is easy. However, I do take exception to the fact that this a good career for a “slacker”. I dropped out of an Ivy League Ph.D. program just because I couldn’t take the pressure or the lifestyle. I was forced to work over 90 hours a week by my advisor. The fact that I asked to see my then girlfriend (now wife) for 2 hours week caused a major blowout with her even though it was on a Sunday was a deciding blow.
I was amazed out how easy corporate life was when I got my first job even though I had to work 65 hours a week during systems implementations. I was also amazed at how dumb everyone was so I guess there are tradeoffs.
To be a college professor, you have to publish, publish, publish in your first few years. My mother and stepfather both just became tenured faculty at two different schools in the last two years. I didn’ t really see my mother for the past three years. The one or two times a year that I went home, she would be in her office working on one paper or another. The pressure is intense and most people don’t make it even after they get their Ph.D.
You’re right, that is an important distinction. What I want is the former. In attempting to explain this issue to people, I’ve found that when I say “I don’t want to work,” most people interpret that as “I want a freelance-style job that allows me to work from home and set my own hours.” In fact, what I want is not to have a job at all, not even to have anything that could remotely be construed as a job. I don’t want to have to concern myself in any way with obtaining income. What I would most like, ideally, is to have a bundle of money–I’d imagine it would have to be at least 5 million dollars or so–and to hand it over to a financial advisor, saying “here, take this money, start an investment portfolio, and use it to generate a comfortable income for me.” Then, except for chatting with the financial advisor a couple of times a year, I would never have to think about where my money was coming from; it would simply land in my checking account each month, just as my paycheck does now, but I wouldn’t have to work for it or be involved in obtaining or generating it in any way.
That’s why none of the suggestions made so far (college professor, professional gambler, mountain man, freelance programmer, currency speculator, city tour guide, professional contest entrant, gigolo) appeal to me. They are all, in one form or another, work. A stock daytrader, for example, may be very good at what he does, so much so that he only has to trade mornings and can take every 4th week off, but unless he has that several-million-dollar chunk of money in a long-term investment portfolio generating a comfortable income, he must keep “working” in order to get by. And that makes all the difference.
I apologize if I demeaned anyone’s livelihood or hobby. I did not mean that being a musician or a writer is not work; I meant that a musician or writer who has acheived great financial success would be one example of a person who has that chunk of several million dollars I mentioned above, and therefore could choose to spend the rest of his life not working if he so desired. When Dire Straits was at their peak of popularity, they probably made enough money in one year to retire for good, if they wanted to. I realize it took them many years to get there, and that’s exactly why I’m saying this option wouldn’t work for me: you spend years and years toiling at it, with no guarantee you’ll ever even make a living, let alone become independently wealthy. I was considering writing and music as potential paths to independent wealth (and pointing out that they weren’t very good ones), not as jobs I would want to hold for a significant length of time. (See above: I dont’ want a job at all.) To put it another way: I don’t really have a strong desire to become a bestselling writer, nor to be a bestselling writer, only to have been a bestselling writer. And to quit writing, live off my investments, and sit around the house, read, garden… you get the idea. Stephen King never has to write another book; Tom Hanks never has to play in another movie. They continue to work because they enjoy it; good for them. But for me, the clincher is that if they don’t want to, they don’t have to.
Agreed. I wouldn’t enjoy it because the whole time, I’d have the nagging knowledge in the back of my head that eventually, I’ll have to go back to work. Again, the key for me is knowing that I never have to set that alarm clock again for the rest of my life, if I don’t want to. Also, how would I know that I’d be able to find a job again when my savings ran out?
Well after reading this thred, my first response [well, after 1) Join the Club, and 2) Grow Up! ] was that one answer would be to find a way to be a kid again. Get food, shelter, an allowance given to you; have recess, afternoons and summers free, etc.
Of course this isn’t possible, and you mentioned your parents wouldn’t likely support that idea. So, how to be kid-like as an adult?
One answer is: have some kind of terrible injury/illness happen so that you can’t (either mentally or physically) work ever again, and others will have to take care of you. It meets many of your criteria (especially if you can still sit on the couch, etc.) but I think you’ll quickly see the drawbacks.
There are worker bees. There are soldier bees. And then there is Royalty! (:
Seriously, I can relate. I don’t think you can get millions without work outside of the ways you suggested. I still think gigolo would be your best option if you are good looking. It wouldn’t be that hard (as long as you close your eyes). I knew a guy who lived in his car and worked a drone job for 3 years. He saved every penny and then bought some cheap land on the edge of town. He had a really, really old and small home moved onto his land. Did all the plumbing and electricity and rents out rooms in it. He lives there too and now does whatever he wants with his day. His girlfriend simply pays the mortgage on her house by renting it out and travels around, staying with friends and living on the rest of the rent money. Eventually the house will be paid off. I suppose you could create some useful software and sell it on the internet (such as vst hosts or instruments or photoshop plugins). Actually I have a get rich invention you can have seeing as how I will never do it. Write a translator plugin for netscape or IE. That way French, Chinese, Japanese people ect. could easily read english sites and vice versa. Ok, I am out of ideas. I do symapathize though. Life is too short to be selling your precious time for a pittance. If you were going to die tommorow, how much would you charge an hour to work today? But that’s just how it is.
Although it sounds like a career path you may already have chosen without knowing it.
I work in the same field as you do. You sound a lot like some people I have worked for and with. I am a little surprised you haven’t figured out how do just enough to keep from getting fired.
And I expect you will be rather unpleasantly surprised if you opt for the househusband role. It is no bed of roses. Or so Mrs. Shodan has told me.
I actually realized, write after I wrote the bit about the “non-working military base/monastery” in the OP, that what I had just described was remarkably similar to prison. But I’ll have to pass on that. Not only would the loss of travel privileges be unbearable, but so would the possibility of becoming Bubba’s girlfriend. :eek:
I really do think the househusband role wouldn’t be that bad. I know housework can easily get overwhelming, but I don’t mind the actual activities. I dislike work not in the sense of “performing tasks you don’t want to be doing at the moment,” but in the sense of having to fend for myself in the dog-eat-dog “big bad world.” I’ve always been comfortable staying around the home, no matter what I’ve had to do or not do there. I suppose you could call me a very insecure and easily intimidated person, and that’s doubtless part of the problem.
I guess technically, that is what I’m now doing. I just worry that I’ll have misjudged the amount of work necessary for not getting fired. Also, even if I’m doing the bare minimum, it’s still stressful if the work is difficult and not remotely related to anything that interests me.
Take your savings, borrow what you can, and go to some poor country. Pay off the local politicians. Build a factory to produce a product you can sell in the advanced countries of North America and Western Europe. Hire impoverished locals to work at a dollar a day. If they demand more, get your death squads to take care of the leaders.
You will soon become filthy rich. Sell your business to some multinational corporation, and live off the proceeds.
I heard the military is pretty easy. Talk to the recruiters, I’m sure they can find you a nice, Beetle Baily-esque MOS where you can lanquish away for 20 years, getting your 3 hots and a cot, plenty of travel and fresh air, all of your clothes paid for and then retire-retire. Piece of cake and thousands of people do it every day!
PS: I heard the Marines is the easiest.
Is it still possible to pack it all up and find an uninhabited island in the Pacific somewhere? Although this may be closer to “self-employed” than non-working; no one is going to feed you, so you’d have to spend time fishing, cracking coconuts, building a hut, etc. to stay alive. But it definitely beats being homeless in Minnesota in the winter.
Is it that you can’t stand to work at all, or is it just that you don’t want to be in a position to be obligated to work- i.e., having to do something you don’t like or when you don’t feel like it? If you’re willing to live very simply, it’s possible to survive on a “casual” income- scavenging, odd jobs, etc. purely on a “when I happen to feel like it” basis.
Wasn’t there a guy on the Web who was basicly telebegging, asking people to send him money? How did that work out?
In the “pure luck needed” category, there’s also The Big Score: a single act that, if you’re successful (and survive), you’re set for life. Something like letting a millionaire hunt you in the desert, with a million-dollar payoff if you can elude him for a week. Or betting that you can smuggle 500 pounds of cocaine into the country just this one time…
There are monastaries, etc, that you can join, but most of them requre you to do chores, including tough work such as helping raise the food they eat.
Could you get a government genius grant, or alternatively a grant from some private foundation, to do something you’re already doing?
This is a tough one. You’re basicly asking the rest of the world to feed you for the rest of your life.
Although it is a bit of a high risk operation, not to mention illegal, you could always finance a drug trade. No, not become a drug dealer, there is a lot of work involved in that, just finance a dealer. You come up with a fair amount of money, say $1000.00 to start, and find a druggie with good conections. Most druggies, with the exception of most potheads, would love to be dealers but have the problem of comeing up with enough capital to do so. You provide them with the capital, they do all the work and you get around 50-60% of thier earnings. In exchange they get 40-50% and all the free drugs they can do. But like I said there is a high risk involved. The guy could easily rip you off. If he doesnt rip you off he could end up doing more of the drugs then he sells so you would lose money that way.
Hey I never said it was a good idea but if you really don’t want to work for a living you’re bond to end up going with a bad idea anyway.
Berdollos has the answer that seems most likely for you: it’s also one you’ve already identified – marriage. Find a workaholic girl, work hard for a short time to fool her – just until you’re hitched, then quit your job and become a house-husband. This is the route I’ve seen taken by half a dozen guys I know. The one down-side is the nagging that comes with that plan. Whew!
If that doesn’t work, then Wireless’ idea was close. But don’t think of prison, think Mental Hospital. It’s as good as living permanently in a first-class hotel. Go to a counseling session once in awhile, take an art class in the mornings, and the afternoon is yours. Once they’ve learned to trust you, you’re free to roam somewhat. You may even get regular shopping trips into town. Just come up with an act sufficiently strange to get you admitted, repeat as necessary during the aforementioned counselling sessions, and the rest is easy-street. I know someone doing this as well.
If even this doesn’t appeal to you, then try moving to Alaska. It’s very easy to get by with very little there; plus you have the state government paying you to live there. Every state resident gets a government subsidy paid out of the taxes they collect from all that oil. I know several people following this plan quite happily.
Try to get abducted by aliens and placed in an intergalactic zoo.
Upside: Free room and board. Good medical care. Possible breeding opportunities.
Downside: Minimal chances for advancement. Have to perform tricks every hour. Might be send to medical lab or meat processing center if insufficiently cute.
In all seriousness, if you are attractive enough, prositution is a viable option. It is a form of work, but no formal qualifications are required, and you can pick and choose your own hours. Should you become successful/popular enough, you could probably sustain yourself on just a handful of regular clients.
The downside is that (AFAIK) most of the work is for gay male prostitutes, so unless you’re gay it will be harder work/more unenjoyable. You will also run the risk of STDs, as well as violence from clients. An upmarket escort agency may be a safer option.
I also think that you should seriously consider (7). There are masses of career women out there who want to have a baby but love their careers, and would give their eye-teeth for a house husband. You should contact a dating agency or marriage bureau to increase your prospects of success here. Marriages of convenience with the aim of having children often work very well, and can deepen into true love.
Another option if you are younger might be to au pair, but that can be hard work depending on the situation, and not all countries allow male au pairs.
If you’re handsome, smart, versed in etiquette, and well-dressed, you could become a male escort. Professional women without time to date need someone to hang off their arm at social events. If you’re good at concocting a story to tell other people about what you do, you’re set. Find an alternative newspaper and start calling up male escort agencies to see if they are hiring.
] was that one answer would be to find a way to be a kid again. Get food, shelter, an allowance given to you; have recess, afternoons and summers free, etc.