The person in question is my stepsister. She was 6 and I was 12 when our parents got together and although they’re split, we still keep in contact. She’s somewhat unusual and I’m concerned that if I don’t put it in the right way, she’s going to think I’m saying she’s just a weirdo. Since she’s looked up to me since we were kids, I think that would hurt her.
You know how people at the lower end of the Dunning-Kruger effect tend to overestimate themselves? People at the higher end tend to underestimate themselves and I think that might apply to her. I want to know what I’m talking about and hopefully present her with actual research or some kind of term that isn’t “smart weirdo”. She’s so used to being told she’s smart that it’s like a great looking woman being told she’s pretty.
When she was in 1st grade, she made a painting in art class that I found striking. One side of the face she painted was highly lit while the other side was in dark shadow. Later, I found out that style is called chiaroscuro. In 3rd or 4th grade, I don’t remember which, she mentioned that the teacher would line up the class in two rows and they’d have to ask each other math questions like “2+3=?”. She asked something like “3-6=?” without being taught about negative numbers. In 5th grade, she said she was congratulated by the teacher in front of the whole class after they did a poetry writing exercise. She had a crush on a boy when she was a teenager and she wrote him an acrostic with a quality of his with every letter of his first name.
In 7th grade, she got a bad result on an ESL test and decided she’d learn on her own. A year later, she was two grades ahead. A year after that, high school ESL had pretty much nothing to teach her. She started reading The Economist magazine at 16. By age 19, she wrote better in English than most native speakers.
I asked her why she applied to medical school and she said that she had something to sort out at the registrar’s office and that a clerk who looked at her file mentioned she should apply. It hadn’t occurred to her and she got in at the one place she applied.
One time, someone complimented her that the dresses she wore were always nice and she matter-of-factly replied: “I made sure of it.” Another time, she was embarrassed because she was the last to complete a test and the test givers were waiting after her. One of them said, presumably snarkily: “You gonna get 100%?” and she replied: “Almost.” She thought it might sound arrogant even if, to her, that was just what she expected. Another time, a professor in medical school made a mistake in the phrasing of a question so she went to the teacher to point it out. He blew her off. She went to her seat, made double sure then went back to the teacher to insist that he’d made a mistake. He’d made a mistake. I pointed out that telling a medical school professor he made a mistake in writing a test question was unusual but that going back insist that he, not her, was making a mistake if she couldn’t understand the question was even more unusual.
I work out from home and wanted to work my lats. She MacGyvered a rowing machine using a barbell, straps and a resistance band. I asked her for advice on her to dress and women do double takes on me with stuff we bought at Target, an army surplus store, $15 biking gloves and a $15 baseball cap.
She does things like get out the door at 4AM on a Saturday to run a half-marathon on her own.
As for her sense of humor, she sent me this link Imgur: The magic of the Internet and told me it looked like “angry Jesus on a windy day”. She said this Imgur: The magic of the Internet looks like someone covering his eyes with his hands and saying “NOOO”. She joked that these: https://www.amazon.ca/Dimples-Excel-Squeeze-Strengthening-Set-Resistance/dp/B01HD5L3YQ/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?keywords=hand+strenghtener+egg&qid=1567872654&s=gateway&sr=8-3-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyMFcwTERYNlcyWFZOJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTYzMjgyNFEwN0lVNFY1OEgwJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAwODU1NjczTU5PTERQRVEwREpHJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ== are feminist exercise equipment.
I know that if I come to her without something more informative than “smart”, she’s going to politely humor me and then dismiss it. If I come to her with something she can research, that will likely interest her and she might look into it further.