“Waiter, what is your Catch Of The Day?”
“Sir, I believe he was Italian.”
Originally Posted by gigi
Apotemnophilia, or Body Integrity Identity Disorder. There was a story on “Untold Stories of the ER” where a guy came in who had amputated his own hand. He kept insisting that they just fix the stump and that he would just cut it off again if they didn’t. They had an ethics committee meeting and decided that abiding by the man’s wishes was the way to go, as much as it was hard for them not to try to reattach the hand.
Originally Posted by Terminus Est
Did he get DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS?
No, a weed whacker. (Tip o’ the hat to Carl Hiaasen)
I thought it was supposed to taste like pork. So I guess that would make it “The Other, Other White Meat.”
“Waiter, what is your soup of the day?”
“Well, Ma’am, we’re calling it ‘minnie strone.’”
May have originated from this:
Cannibalism is an unwise evolutionary choice.
Some donate their bodies to science. I’d rather donate it to cuisine.
You’d probably have to roast the pirate meat and sell it at Arrrrrrrrrby’s.
Why?
<snorf>
Personally, I think being able to donate my body to the stew pot is an excellent choice!
Until then, maybe I will start a Human Ranch and do a study on Perservative-free range ‘cattle’ ( organics and the like) vs the fast food seditary life style. I bet I could get this half subsidized by McDonalds.
I need a catchy name for my place and product, though.
Here’s the opening day menu:
Salad: Seize her!
Entree: Chuck roast au Jew
Sides: A spear O’Gus and Buttered nut, squashed
Dessert: Baked Alaskan
Beverage choices: Bloody Mary, blended White Russian, Adam’s apple juice, or iced pee.
“Excuse me… what kind of food do you serve here?”
“Well, today it’s French.”
“Oh, we really were hoping for some Mexican.”
“He’s on a resuscitator. Try back tomorrow.”
Would this restaurant serve…ahhh…human veal?
Howzabout Placenta Stew?
Cutting out a lot of biological complexity: because the body has trouble processing proteins that are too similar to its own, and the proteins wind up “misfolding”. Strange, but true. The difficulty of processing too-similar proteins has led to the present problem of BSE, or “mad cow disease” (although I prefer calling it “bovine spongiform encephalopathy”, because it’s so darn fun to say “spongiform”).
Soup: Irish Stew
I’m not sure that makes a lot of sense; virtually every protein in a cow is also present in humans, and vice versa. It’s possible there would be issues with parasites and diseases being better transmitted by cannibalism, especially with larger more complex animals.
However, putting aside the problems with implied intelligence in using words like ‘wise evolutionary choice’, cannibalism is not an adaptive strategy in the long term because an individual would almost always be better off just skipping a link in the food chain and eating the food that the cannibalism prey would have eaten.
Which isn’t to say that occasional cannibalism isn’t adaptive (and is common among insects, for instance), just that the most adaptive strategy is to kill and eat your rivals, then spend the rest of the time eating their food.
Let’s not forget the Polish sausage!
It makes a great adjective, too.
“Are you out of your spongiformed mind?!”
I’ll just have a Danish.
Whatever you do, avoid the caviar.