Do you have some kind of fish fetish? Do you stand on a chair next to your fish tank and whack off to pictures of The Little Mermaid?
Guppy #4, peering through the glass: “Hey everyone, here comes Meals On Heels!”
I’ve heard of fishing with live bait, but this is ridiculous.
Just how often do you have to change your filter?
Maybe you should trade the guppies in for a blowfish.
Am I the only one who thought the OP may have been talking about cooking fish with semen?
I definitely will be looking at the little crispies I get at Long John Silver’s a little differently now.
Yeah, that’s right.
No, my aquarium is too high for me to try straddling it. I’m usually on my bed. I cup my hand and catch some of the jizz. Then I walk over and put it in the tank.
It’s all gone within 15 minutes.
I bet you’re really wanting to try it yourself, aren’t ya?
I knew better than to open this, I really did. Now I need my brain scrubbed.
I just can’t help it, though, I’m curious. What on earth made you think of doing this? Whether or not it’s harmful to the fish (and I’m thinking “better safe than sorry”) I can’t imagine any set of circumstances which would lead me to the thought of rubbing one out into the fish tank.
Good question, GodSka!
I’ve never personally owned an aquarium, but I’ve visited several people who have them in their homes and have, on occasion, spat into their tanks when they weren’t looking and watched in amazement as the fish devoured the phlegm.
Witnessing this, I became immediately curious as to what they would do if I ejaculated into the tank, but I never got the opportunity to do so. I’m glad to confirm that my suspicions were true.
Thank you, Surreal. This thread was nigh on perfection until you came along. It is now, if I may be so bold, morphed into something above and beyond perfection, uber-perfection, perhaps.
If the Boards wither up, die and are swept away by the winds of Internet like so many brittle, autumnal leaves because of the new registration policy, this thread alone more than makes up for my five dollars.
Well, in the spirit of this thread, I have to admit to something. I actually had forgotten about this event until I read this thread. When I was about 19-20, I was at my girlfriend’s house waiting for her to get ready to go out. I was watching TV and I felt a snot lodged in my nostril. It was the type of booger that I could just tell would fly right out with the slightest nasal exhale, assuming that the other nostril was covered. The bathroom was being used at the time. I didn’t have any tissues with me. So I slowly I lifted the light covering the tank since I wasn’t confident about my aiming abilities…I won’t fill in the obvious, but those fishies attacked that thing like vultures. I couldn’t tell whether they consumed the whole thing, but it was quite a sight.
All this rather makes me wish for a remake of Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid, or Splash . . .
Gee, next week why don’t you see if they’ll take it up the ass.
well, tropical reef fish eat the leftover sperm and eggs after coral spawning. I’m sure the chemical composition of coral polyp sperm differs widely from that of humans, but I guess that sets some sort of precedent. I guess.
I wonder if the fishies would like to try my tonsil stones.
Or, perhaps some zit squeezins?
Hey, now, she was cute.
Oh God, I’ve said too much.
The fuckall he did!
Right Above this thread now in GQ: Why does fish taste fishy
Well I suppose we’ve answered that question…
I recommend the 2001 film She Creature. I watched this expecting bad acting, poor dialogue and plot, and cheesy special effects. Instead, some of the acting is wonderful. The plot is marvellously gothic. Very few effects are used, and these are masterpieces. I’ve seen a few other films in the Creature Feature series. They’re as awful as the originals. It may be set in a copper band and surrounded by zirconia, but She Creature is a true gem.
I guess we know who won’t be playing in the remake of "The Incredible Mr. Limp et.
<tap tap tap>
Hello…helloooo…is this thing on?
Doc, I didn’t really care for that film, but maybe I’ll give it another chance.
This is the funniest OP I have seen in a long time. Especially the “well?” that completes the question. [GodSka, stick around. I’ll pony up your five bucks.]
Don’t fish eat sperm and eggs of other dead fish, along with most any part of an animal or plant they can get their mouth on? I think most fish are scavengers and their guts can handle pretty much anything with nutrients. Probably a little human spooge is OK as long it’s not a staple of their diet. But I’m not a fishametician, I just play one on TV.
However…tropical reef fish live in a slightly bigger body of water than fish living in an aquarium.
I knew someone whose 3 year old daughter killed all their fish in their tank one day by “sharing” her baloney sandwich with the little fishies.
I’d say when it’s a closed environment like that, adding unusual elements to the environment can have deleterious effects.
Don’t you love your fishes, Godska? 
Yes. Yes, he does.
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned this before:
…and no one has suggested that you pan fry it first, so, let me.