I don’t think it’s society’s place to offer forgiveness. Society metes out justice. It’s up to his victims to decide whether or not to forgive. And I don’t think, “Hey, I’m sorry, kids!” is enough to make one deserving of forgiveness.
I think if he had fondled, but not raped…and he had targeted one kid instead of a heap of them…and it had been a one time thing instead of an on-going thing…then I could wrap my head around forgiveness. But since the alleged facts don’t jibe with the behavior of a remorseful individual, I can’t imagine what he could ever do to warrant forgiveness.
The only reason for anyone to forgive this piece of shit is if one of his victims will get something, a sense of closure or relief for example, from doing so. There is no reason for society to forgive him, as that action could only serve to comfort the monster.
There are two reasons to forgive someone who has committed a heinous crime.
The first is that, as individuals, to forgive someone doesn’t mean wiping out the crime or pretending it didn’t matter. It means making a purposeful decision to let go of the pain, heal, move on, and refuse to seek revenge or punishment of the one who hurt us. Most psychologists and clergy will say that forgiveness is by far the better route, but from my experience, it takes a certain amount of emotional and mental resources to forgive. If you’re coping day to day with crippling pain because of what was done to you, you may not have the ability to do these things.
The second is that, as a society, where possible, we need to allow those who have committed crimes, admitted their guilt, come to terms with their responsibility, paid the consequences, and show an honest desire to make amends to rejoin and become part of us again. The problem is, very few people are capable of admitting they’ve done something wrong, let alone take responsibility for it, let alone accept the consequences or make amends. And, there are some crimes that are so awful - like using a position of trust and authority to rape children - that no matter how earnest and regretful the person is, we just don’t want them back. The damage they did includes destroying their right to be part of our society.
I think at that point, the best we can do is comfort the victims and leave the criminal forever apart from human society. Put them away, ostracize them, forget them, and let them live the rest of their life knowing they are no longer part of the human community. I suppose for some, it won’t really matter to them. For others, it will. At that point, though, what they think or feel about the outcome doesn’t really matter any more.
That just doesn’t cut it with me. This world is FULL of people who had unspeakable things done to them in their childhood, and somehow the majority of them manage to go through life without molesting any kids. “Waah, I was molested, I can’t help myself” - oh bullshit. Pedophiles do what they do because they’re evil.
I don’t know if my abuser was himself abused, I wondered about that.
I outed the abuser in the family, broke the silence, and they kept kids away from the nasty man
One of the things in my life I’m most proud of is that I broke the cycle of abuse.
David
I assume (which may be a mistake) that you are both intelligent enough to realize I am NOT in ANY WAY excusing, minimizing or dismissing the heinous, vile and evil (if what he did is not evil, nothing is evil) abuse that J. Sandusky visited upon his helpless child victims, just pointing out that I would be absolutely shocked if Sandusky himself was NOT sexually molested back when he was a child.
At this point, I doubt it. At least, there’s nothing he could do for ME to forgive him.
Cosmic Relief, it’s not so much a “string him up by his balls” as “lock him away forever where he can’t hurt anyone ever again.” He forfitted his right to freedom when he committed that first act of molestation. As far as I’m concerned, let him rot in prison.
“Did his/her time” doesn’t mean squat if someone is still a danger to society.
Another victim of sexual abuse by a family member checking in. When I confronted my brother about the abuse, he admitted that not only did he rape me and my younger brother, but a number of other boys as well.
He then proceeded to tell me how much he suffered all these years because of “the guilt.” Concern for the psychological dame to me or any of the other victims was not there. Once a narcissist, always a narcissist.
I suspect that Sandusky will be similar. People with even the slightest degree of empathy don’t wind up raping children. I would hope he is given a life sentence, or one long enough that he doesn’t return to society.* He was caught not just once, but continued to prey on the most vulnerable members of society.
For whatever reason, those who had the opportunity to report this scum failed their moral obligations and ironically brought dishonor to an institute which should be a leader in moral authority.
I’m not one of those who call for torture for even the most heinous crimes, but I believe society has the right and obligation to remove threats from its midst.
This upsets me almost as much as the subject of this thread. The only people who shouldn’t judge this man are the other people who have committed the same - or worse - crime. You make judgments throughout your life, and you have a right - even an obligation - to make such judgments. And do you really think you’re being “arrogant” by acknowledging that his actions are wrong?
Unless he’s kept in an isolated area of the prison, I doubt he serves more than a few years before he dies in prison, either by his own hand or someone else’s.
I don’t really know, to be honest. I feel conflicted about it.
Maybe arrogant was a poor choice of word though. I am disgusted by this man and what he did. But, these phrases pop into my head and make me question myself.
Things like, judge not, lest you me judged. Forgive and forget. Let go of the hatred in your heart, because in the end, it will only destroy you. Where’s your compassion?
Walk a mile in his shoes…(No fucking thank you) I don’t know why these thoughts pop into my head. They just do.
Intellectually, I know that these phrases have to be kept in context. But emotionally, all I hear is the phrase. If that makes any sense. So I end up wrestling with my thoughts.
Another way to try to explain it and it’s stoopid, I know. I see all of us humans on judgment day, standing before God. Everyone but Sandusky has confessed and been forgiven and sent to the right side and we all get to go to heaven. Whee!
And Sandusky is the only one that gets sent to the left side. And then we all watch as he ages backwards. And maybe we learn that he too was molested. Or something. But eventually, we see him as a newborn and we all go awww, how cute, cause who doesn’t love babies. Right? See, it’s crazy.
This probably stems from having the bible read to me when I was too young to understand it fully. As if anyone could ever understand the nasty shit in that book.
Anyway, there’s a scary peek into my fucked up brain. I could keep a psychologist busy for life.
Being judgemental isn’t always bad, and it’s sometimes necessary for self-preservation. People who are going to cause harm aren’t going to announce it; it’s up to you to watch out for their actions and words and judge for yourself whether or not they are worthy of your trust. And don’t forget where the police and judges and lawyers and jurors and everyone else in the court system comes from: the population at large. The criminal justice system depends on people using their common sense and judgement to spot problematic behavior.
There are few things I consider completely irredeemable. Violent crimes against children are on top of the list.
Godwin’s Law = the longer a discussion goes on, the likelihood of a Hitler reference approaches 100%. I don’t know how StusBlues got that out of your OP either.
