Is this a victory for Bullies?

Great Debates
#1

Firstly I apologise for the link to this story being one to The Daily Mail. :stuck_out_tongue:

Within a few seconds of reading this article, my mental response was…

“Well, the Bullies won then didn’t they. They got what they wanted”

Let me be clear at the start that I’m not holding the girl herself under the spotlight. At that age, the pressures are too many to be clear. But somewhere along the line I believe there has been a defeat. I suppose the bigger question here is, did the girl herself truly deep down want to have surgery or was the bullying itself and the demands upon her by the bullys to ‘do something about it or forever be pestered’ play a major part in any desire for surgery?

If she only feels confident now after bullies have done such a hatchet job on her self esteem over the years that she had to go and have $40,000 surgery (albeit payed for by a charity) then in my view this is society yet again pandering to the vile demands of bullies, rather than demanding that the bullys don’t succeed.

Yet the article appears to be painting the outcome in a different light, I believe.

I’m not even sure the foundation which payed for this, may realises that this could be a victory for bullies as I’m sure their intentions were good as gold.

What is your reponse to the article?

#2

I am very confused… she looks quite pretty in the “before” pictures.

#3

Of course it is a victory for the bullies. If similarly a black person was forced to disguise himself as white (assume its hypothetically possible) to avoid racist attacks, isn’t it a triumph for the racists?

#4

The before/after pictures are exactly like those shown in adds : they made sure she smiled nicely on the “after” picture, her hair have been well done, her skin is smooth and has a nice tone thanks to make up, lightning and the photographer’s talent, her brows have been thinned, etc…

#5

Well, the ears do look a lot better. I don’t think “the bullies won”; kids are just shitheads sometimes. I doubt any of them really cared either way. She was just a convenient target.

#6

I think the whole “stop bullying” movement is the biggest quixotic waste of time pretty much ever. I hate bullies. I hate that any kid is bullied.

But ending bullying is impossible. It can never happen.

(Sorry, a little OT, but still…)

#7

The story did say she had surgery on her jaw line and to correct a deviated septum. I don’t see anything in the first picture that a different hair style and a light shaping of the brows wouldn’t fix, but that might be the angle.

She does look a little bland in the After picture, doesn’t she?

#8

We can’t get rid of all murder, theft, racism, rape, or intolerance either.

#9

Wrong; blatant schoolyard style bullying can and mostly is ended, as soon as the authorities bother to try. As demonstrated by how such bullying magically goes away when people get old enough that it starts being treated as a crime. Your coworkers are unlikely to gang up on you and beat you up, because if they did no one would say “boys will be boys”; they’d be arrested.

#10

Well, they certainly won in the sense that they succeeded in making this girl feel terrible about the way she looked. Since I doubt the bullies wanted her to get cosmetic surgery then that’s not really a victory for them, and I also have my doubts as to whether the bullying will now end. I mean, Ms. Isle looks perfectly normal, even cute, in her “before” pictures, so I’m thinking these bullies were not otherwise charming people who were genuinely repulsed by her freakishly hideous appearance. I hope the combination of plastic surgery and therapy has helped Ms. Isle to feel better about herself, because the bullying probably will continue. The bullies will just switch to making fun of her for some other reason, possibly even for having plastic surgery.

#11

Wise words. We can’t get rid of it but we don’t have to take it lying down.

Yeah, it is a victory for bullies. She looked fine in the before picture.

#12

Cool, we can end bullying right this very moment by simply taking this to its logical end and arresting kids. Solved that problem.

What teeth are there when we deal with kids? What, they’ll be expelled or suspended? Bring it on, vacation is always welcome. Grounded? If it’s come to that it’s all but certain they’ve been there before and they’ll eventually get out. Spanking? In 2012? The ninny brigade will kill you for even thinking it.

Your solution is a fantasy. At best it gets reduced. It NEVER goes away, not even as an adult. It simply changes form by omitting any physicality and changing it entirely to psychological.

What a pipe dream. Bullying goes away and we can solve it. Ha.

#13

The first photo also looks to be c. 2 years older than the newer one; sometimes kids need a few years for some facial features to “catch up” to others.

#14

Stick them in a cell for a few months, see how they like it.

#15

Pfffft. Best of luck with all that. Biologically immature brains under the influence of hormones, sexuality, and group dynamics have poor impulse control. That’s the way it is. A cell would make it worse.

#16

I agree that cell time would be bad. It would set a bully on the path of crime.
Better to have campaigns that target schools, to make them aware and hand them tools to deal with it. Tools to make the children themselves aware.

This surgery shit is a very bad response.
Indeed that girl in the picture looks quite normal, even pretty, before surgery.

#17

As someone who was extensively physically bullied, this works just fine for me. Let them take a ride in the back of a cruiser, handcuffed, and spend the night in a cell. Let them deal with furious parents who have to bail them out, and deal with the school actions. It won’t fix everything, but it would damn sure reduce it. Most of the passive, cruel bullying occurs because there is no real repercussion for the actions. Kids are able to understand rules and consequences just fine. Certainly they break them occasionally because of immaturity, but the real threat of those consequences will cut out a huge amount of the casual crap immediately. You will (hopefully) be left with the kids who have serious anger issues or other problems that need to be dealt with.

#18

I don’t think you’re being objective.

#19

Hmmm… $40k for cosmetic ear surgery (seems the jaw and nose were thrown in as some kind of bonuses), vs… a new hair style.

Only in America. Reminds me of a story from the days of the Space Race. Astronauts need to be able to write notes in zero-g. America spends gazillions of dollars to develop a pen with a built-in ink pump that will write while oriented in any direction. Soviet astronauts are given pencils.

Why do I hate America? :stuck_out_tongue:

#20

The story says she was bullied for her big ears but adds that she also had surgery on her nose and jawline. Did the bullies say a lot of nasty things about her weak chin, or were those freebies? Her nose does look a little crooked in the first picture, but my understanding is that “deviated septum” is often a B.S. medical excuse to justify a nose job.

I think people can do what they want with regard to plastic surgery and they don’t have to justify themselves - if she didn’t like the look of her ears, she’s not stuck with them just because someone else made fun of them - but on some level you do have to be responsible for making decisions for the right reasons, which means pleasing yourself rather than trying to avoid hurt from other people whose opinions you don’t need to care about. I don’t fault the girl for the surgery, but the message this group is sending is really stupid.