I have a friend with marital problems (no abuse or anything like that) who wants to leave and take their two kids to another state where her family and support network lives. They are not separated or in any kind of divorce proceedings yet (but probably will someday). Can she legally leave and live wherever she wants without consideration for the husband’s rights to the kids? The husband has no ties in that state, and has no job, with problems finding work because of a current disability.
I read that until someone files legal papers in a particular state, it’s up for grabs where the kids are going to be required to stay. Is this true? Can my friend get into trouble for taking the kids to another state without the husband’s consent? Does the husband have any say where the kids eventually end up if the kids move before papers are filed?
The stuff I’ve found on the internet only talks about custody issues after some kind of separation or divorce proceedings.
Ok, I’m more interested in this question in a broader, theoretical sense, the issue at hand just prompted my curiosity.
At what point when a parent takes their kids somewhere does it constitute abduction? Doesn’t each parent have the right to take the kids wherever they please? Say a woman takes her kids to another state to live after telling her husband. She says he can see them, but it’s damn inconvenient for him to move as well. What happens if the couple is still married but one person makes a unilateral decision like this?
We’ve all heard stories of husbands taking their kids to another country, and then the women have no recourse, because the kids belong to the husband under the laws of that country. What’s it like in the U.S.?
I also don’t think it would be abduction, per se, because it’s not as if she’s planning on never letting the kids see their father.
As far as after papers are filed, IANAL, but I think it depends on the divorce agreement. For instance, a friend of mine said that her parents’ divorce agreement said that her dad had to okay any move of her mom (who had custody of her) that was greater than 100 miles away. I don’t recall my parents’ divorce agreement saying that.
I saw this: "Without a custody order in place…either parent can take the children without the permission of the other. The only way to stop him legally would be to get a temporary restraining order preventing him from removing the children from the state/court jurisdiction. "
This jives with what I’ve read before, in effect this means a parent can take a child and move with them to another state or country, or to the moon, for that matter and there’s nothing the other parent can do about it if they are both married and no legal action has been filed to stop it before it happens.
This raises some interesting questions. For one, it seems grossly unfair that the opportunistic parent can just physically remove the kids from the other and there’s nothing that parent can do about it once the deed is done.
The other question then is, for those cases where the guy has left the country with the kids, not planning to come back, the U.S. has no law to address this?
Or does it? At what point can the law say: “ok, this is too long for a legally married parent to be without their kids”?
The same time as with any other married couple in the same situation. The US-based parent is free to go to court. The problem is enforcing the court’s order. There are a lot of horror stories about American parents losing their children because the other parent’s home country either refuses to recognize or refuses to enforce American court orders.
Here’s a cite discussing what embassies and consuls in other countries can do to help parents in that situation.