Having lived with certain odd behavior (which i find very hard to explain) my entire life i began to look up information or possibly people who relate, the closest i found is that i may be obssesive compulsive…here’s the deal.
At almost all times i have strong urges to do certain body or facial contortions that serve no logical purpose. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it is a major issue or that it particularly interferes with my life, only that it is always present…sometimes worse than others. As i type this out i realize how difficult this is to describe, and i’ve yet to come across a satisfactory description on the internet…i can try my best to offer an example.
As i am performing a normal task (such as typing this post) i will have a (subconcious?) urge to breath as deeply as possible so i can feel the strain on my lungs. This is not foremost on my mind however, and i only notice it when i stop to think about it…then i CAN will myself to not give in to the urge, but it is difficult and only a matter of time before it resurfaces. Another example is my random need to slightly contort my face while having a conversation with someone, i try to wait until ideal times when they turn away and i don’t look like an idiot.
Most of my readings on OCD apply to things like repeating steps an irrational amount of times (washing hands) or need for things to be perfectly arranged or importance of routines. These things do not really apply to me, but the description of the compulsive urge does.
I want some factual information on what my minor but constantly present odd behavior could be. I realize i did not do a very good job of describing it, but the words to convey it just don’t come to me…I’d be happy to provide more information if anyone is nice enough to offer anything. Thanks
Without being qualified in any way, yes your quirks would seem to count as a mild form of OCD (although Disorder may be taking it too far, let’s call it OC behaviour). As you’re aware of them and can stop them they wouldn’t count as tics so it’s not Tourette’s.
Almost all the OCD behaviour you read about or see on TV is as you describe, to do with repetition or perfection, but that’s because that makes the best drama. There are many other forms of OC behaviour and I’d say yours fits right in.
I’m going to guess that it is, becuase I’ve lived with very mild things like that my whole life. Pacing is one of them - I often get strong urges to pace. They’re not overpowering, and I wouldn’t do it in public or at work, but when at home I’ll often get up and do it at least once a half-hour. Ditto for the facial things like you mentioned - I almost always have to occasionally blink one eye when talking to people, almost like a wink (but less conspicously). There are several other minor, little thingsl like that that I’ll find myself doing.
The reason I think it may be very mild OCD is that about a year ago, I developed “real” OCD involving checking my pulse. It seemed to be an anxiety-related thing that stemmed into a full-time, “i have to check my pulse every 30 seconds, all day long” thing that friends, family, and even co-workers started to notice. It eventually wound down and went away after about 9 months.
There are obsessions. There are compulsions. There are obsessions that we are compulsive about and compulsions we are obsessive about. Then there’s fullblown OCD. A professional needs to assess and diagnose you if you think that you’re suffering from any of the above and want to resolve it, but you can start to get a better understanding (and perhaps determine whether or not you need to seek proofessional care) at the Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation site.
You may have mild Tourette’s Syndrome which is often coupled with OCD. Facial tics are common, and many Tourette’s sufferers can control them in social situations. However, suppressing them for long periods of time usually leads to a bout of uncontrollable tic’ing when the pressure is off-like when you’re home alone.
Try reading here http://www.tourettesyndrome.net/ef.htm to learn about the spectrum of disorders associated with OCD and Tourettes. If you feel you meet many of the criteria, then seek a health professional.