What’s most important, in my opinion, is that you’re writing a work of fiction. Even if characters in the book do or say sexist things, that doesn’t necessarily make the book itself sexist. You, the author, have a point of view that you’re trying to get across to the reader. If your point of view is sexist, then the book may be sexist. But it’s possible to have a character (even the protagonist) be a sexist jerk without the book itself being sexist.
Getting back to the passage in question, what could be considered sexist about it? That there are two characters who think that men and women take some things differently? That one character uses fart jokes as an example?
Did your writing pal read the whole scene leading up to that line? Is the nature of the discussion between the two characters already kind of contentious, maybe a little flirty? Smartass guy says something rude and sexist, thick-skinned girl replies with something emasculating. The dance goes on, will they or won’t they?
Shakespeare used such dialogue in Taming of the Shrew, and it’s still performed after 5-6 centuries.
“Asses were made to bear, and so were you.”
“Women were made to bear, and so were you.”
She compared him to a beast of burden, and he told her to “know your role.” The dance goes on.
No work should EVER have its entire content judged based on one line. Your line evoked a response, and that’s what writers want from their readers. People can’t be polite and erudite all the time. That makes for a boring book. I say put more of those lines in and watch Ms. Prude squirm.
Well, how did Marinda take it? Was she immediately shut down, accepting Saxton’s comment as some sort of clever insight? Or did she challenge it?
Honestly, I’d view the above as an extension of the “girls don’t like to get dirty” nonsense.
It’s one thing to write believable characters with deeply human flaws, but when a sexist statement comes from a character that is otherwise a Mary Sue/Gary Stu, I’m going to starting suspecting that those are really the author’s insights, and not the character’s.
I didn’t find the exchange sexist, at least in the small snippet provided without context.
However, I don’t speak for everybody. And neither does your critic. But there may be more to what she said than some here are giving her credit for. She’s giving you a perspective you wouldn’t otherwise have had. I don’t know her, but I’d guess it’s less likely she’s calling you sexist for writing it, and more that she wants you to realize that what your character said could be construed as such. Maybe by Marinda? Could that affect how she reacts? Is that an aspect of her relationship to Saxton?
Sure, you can have your characters say and do bad things. Some authors insist that all misdeeds must have consequences; others don’t. That’s up to you, but I think the more aware you are of how your characters are perceived by your readers as well as your other characters, the better your writing will be.
Agreed. e.g., much of what Jack Ryan says is really what Tom Clancy believed. In this case, no worries, as Saxton is not a stand-in for the author. (Saxton is pretty much an “amiable jerk” if that combination even makes sense.)
Agreed. The challenge is far from a bad thing. I think she’s wrong in this case, but I’m not gonna go baby and bathwater on her!
Esprise Me: you’re very right about “killing your babies.” I’ve thrown away entire chapters, and, while it hurts like the dickens, it sometimes has to be done. That’s the real benefit of a writing/reading/critiquing group: they’ll see things you might not see on your own.
I don’t know myself, but a question to ask may be if this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Could there be other vague hints at sexist and she’s picking on them? That could very well be “no,” but perhaps it may be worth it to look.