And the monk gets his hot dog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor just puts it in his pocket, so the monk says, “Hey, where’s my change?”
The hot dog vendor says, “Change comes from within.”
The monk gives the vendor a hundred dollar bill, and the vendor pockets it. The monk asks for his change, and the vendor says…
“Change comes from within.”
[sub]Heh, heh, heh…[/sub]
Ditto jjimm (the post on top of mine).
Whoa, my very first simulpost!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
No, no, no! The moral is:
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think!”
Just imagine, for a moment, if there were no hypothetical situations…
That’s one of my favourite jokes. But when I tell it, very few people get it. 
I’ve always liked:
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can’t cross a scalar and a vector.
What if this wasn’t a rhetorical question?
Costello: So the Peasants had a Revolt in 1380? What was the name of their leader?
Abbott:Yes.
Costello: The Leader of the Peasant’s REvolt of 1380. What was the name of the guy in charge?
Abbott: Yes, that’s right.
Costello: All I’m tryin’ to find out is what’s his name!
Abbott: Yes, it is!
Costello: The Peasant in England. They had a Revolt, in 1380?
Abbott: Yes
Costello: They had a leader?
Abbott: Yes, they did.
Costello: What was his name?
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: All I’m tryin’ to find out is Who ran the Revolt!
Abbott: Oh, no, no no. Wat was his name.
Costello: What was the name of the guy running the Revolt?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: His name was WHat?
Abbott: Yes, it was.
Costello (looks at camera knowingly): Hmm Hmmmm! So Yes was the name of the guy running the Peasants revolt!
Abbott: Wat was his name!
Costello: What was his name?
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: So Yes was the name of the guy running the Revolt!
Abbott: No!
Not truly intellectual, but at least biblical.
Jesus is walking through Jerusalem, when an angry crowd pulling a young woman passes by. Jesus asks: “What are you gonna do with her?”
The crowd: “She’s a sinner! We’ll stone her!”
Jesus: “Ah, then wait a moment. You know how it goes; let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Bang - a stone hits him in the neck.
Jesus turns around and shouts, “Sometimes, you’re just plain silly, mother.”
Two atoms are walking down the street when they bump into each other. One atom seems fine, but the other atom is obviously shaken up.
“Are you all right?” asks the one atom solicitously.
“No!” cries the other atom, looking about frantically. “I’ve lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive!”
Grrrr!
That should be Peasant’s Revolt of 1381, dammit!
I should know. I wrote a play about this, once.
Pedant’s Revolt, indeed!
Two cats slide down a roof. Which hits the ground first?
A: The one with the smallest [sym]m[/sym].
Then of course there is the dyslexic agnostic insominac joke. And the one about a pony confusing x- and y-coordinates with the punchline “Can’t put Descartes before the horse”. Ho hum.
So why did the architect have his housemaid backwards?
Ah. That one doesn’t really work if written down, does it?
pan
Nietzsche and Einstein walk into a casino and find God at the craps table…
What do you call the ranting of a primate when he doesn’t like the quality of his dessert?
An organutan merengue harangue.
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two…
One to change the bulb, and one not to change the bulb.
An excellent collection of light bulb jokes that cover philosophy as well as a lot of Biblical research jokes can be found here : http://www.webcom.com/~ctt/comic.html (the philosophical ones are further down)
My favorite from there :
How many monists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don’t be silly, there’s only ONE monist …
Also from the same humor page :
Causes of Death for some of the great philosophers…
(From Jan94, “From the Editor”, Ethics
Thales:Drowning
Parmenides: It wasn’t anything at all
Ockham: Cut while shaving
Russell: Cut while being shaved by one who did not shave himself
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Spinoza: Substance abuse
Leibniz: Monadnucleosis
Darwin: Natural causes
Hume: Unnatural causes
Kant: Transcendental causes (although it was his own idea)
Paley: By design
Heidegger: By Dasein
Meinong: Climbing accident
Neurath: Boating accident
G.E. Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Sheffer: Stroke
Sartre: Nausea
Pascal: Became despondent after losing a wager
Wittgenstein: Tried to see if death was an experience one lived through. (Alternate: fell off a ladder)
Hegel: Collision with owl at dusk
They also have a long ‘Teleology of Chicken and Road’ list of responses, e.g. from B.F. Skinner: “Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.”
And my favorite ‘obscure knowledge’ joke, especially since it’s so long and in a subject I studied in detail (it’s of a mathematical nature), can be found in my post in this thread Ghastly Puns, pg. 3
Johnny’s gone forever
He’s gone forever more
What he thought
Was H20
Was H2SO4
Two guys walk into a bar,
which is pretty funny considering the second guy
had already seen the first one do it.
Ooops, wrong thread.