Is Trump/Putin a Witch?

The BBQ Pit
1

As everyone knows, many people in the USA are currently engaged in a witch hunt. Some people say that Donald Trump is the head Witch but I am unsure if the evidence is strong enough to secure a conviction in a kangaroo court of law.

As we all know, a sitting president cannot be compelled to take any of the standard witchcraft tests while in office, presumably because being dunked in a river until dead may interfere with his presidential schedule.

Now I’m not a fancy city lawyer so I’m not 100% sure on the legal definition of witchcraft in the USA, I believe at least one of the following conditions has to be fulfilled to secure a conviction.

[ol]
[li]Subject is witnessed performing hexes, charms, spells, glamours, black masses or curses[/li]
[li]Subject consorts with the devil and/or minor demons, to include all dealings up to and including kinky butt stuff[/li]
[li]Subject cackles wildly while stirring a bubbling cauldron in the vicinity of an enchanted broomstick[/li]
[li]Subject is accused of witchcraft by one or more hysterical peasants.[/li][/ol]

So, is there any evidence of any of these criteria being met, or any other criteria I failed to include?
In conclusion:

Fuck off! All you motherfucking cunts!

2

He does weigh more than a duck.

3

Has he turned anyone into a newt?

4

Does he have a flying broom? Er…Broom-force 1.

5

No, you’ve got it backwards. It is the opposition that is witches. (This is only a sampling.)

6

I don’t think the SCOTUS has ruled on that. First of all, if he is a witch he won’t die by drowning, he’d need to be burned at the stake to actually kill him once it’s determined that he is a witch. Secondly, his schedule isn’t that full, we could dunk him in the lake at Mira Lago on the weekend.

7

These are the important questions this thread is made to answer.

I believe he needs to be impeached first but I’m sure Bricker will be able to clarify

8

Never mind. I was thinking this was about the Putin Bitch Hunt. I think there’s ample evidence of Trump being that.

9

Any day now he will admit that he meant to say it isn’t a witch hunt.

10

I don’t believe impeachment is necessary unless he refuses to be dunked voluntarily. I suppose if he does refuse the only recourse is to first remove him from office via impeachment and then dunk him. If he does volunteer and does turn out to be a witch then that can be used as grounds for impeachment.

11

What is he wearing and who dressed him like that?

12

He turned me into a newt. (I got better.)

13

And what do we do with witches?

14

It’s off-topic, but I’m reminded of an entry from Ambrose Bierce’s famous dictionary:

15

Betty? Abagail? Anything to add to this?

(Actually, their help may be appreciated at these times.)

16

“I have the best spells. Spells so good they’re unbelievable!”

17

“You can just grab them by the familiar. When you’re a witch they let you do that.”

18

If he weighs the same as a duck he’s made of wood?

19

Build a bridge out of him.

20

No, a wall!