This is just a bit of a minirant about people and paranoia. Reading through the boards, I keep hearing people saying things about not trusting strangers, or being afraid for their life when someone gets angry.
But… I’ve faced a few angry, threatening people, and talked to my share of strange people who waved me over to them just so they could talk to someone. And I’ve never felt that I was in danger. I say hi to anyone I pass on the street, but in some places apparently this is strange.
Do people really just get randomly assaulted in other cities? Is the threat so great that there’s a reasonable chance every stranger is dangerous?
I too say g’day to people (and not just in my own street). I also walk alone at night, and I’ve never been mugged or otherwise harrassed (nor do I know of anyone who has).
I did a breakdown on crime in different countries a month or two ago for a project.
The United States was easily the most prone to violent crime across the board among the western industrialized nations with an exception for on type of crime: simple assault.
For cases of simple assault (beatings, fights and similar acts without other criminal intent like muggings or rape) Australia beat 'em all.
I just figured you guys liked to get wild when you had a few.
It’s a curious form of male bonding. After beating the shit out of each other outside the pub, they embrace, exchange vows of eternal mateship, then return to the bar to continue getting pissed.
Can’t speak for anyone else. But live in New York City for 20 years - hell, live there for a month - & you develop certain defensive instincts. Far from “every stranger is dangerous.” But you learn to keep your eyes seriously open.
Crime has certainly dropped, subways safer, neighborhoods improved, etc., since I moved there in 1971. But back in the day, yeah, you HAD to be wary of strangers - at certain times, in certain places - if you didn’t want to become a victim. Not always of a violent crime either, plenty of con artists out there.
I don’t have my guard up anywhere near as high here in NJ, or almost anywhere else. But put me back in the City, or any unfamiliar urban environment, & those instincts come right back.
actually i think that there are a lot more chances that when you say hi to total strangers in the street, they’re the ones who gonna return salute or not, but then walk away fast.
you’re the one who would be viewd as dangerous & crazy
But you must also remember a few moments when someone asked you for the time or directions, and it was a very pleasent moment.
It’s just like ghostrider said, most have their guard up, so they might answer in a defensive or angry way.
I also believe that if a woman start a conversation, she would defenitly get more smiles than a man would…
I made eye contact and smiled at a man in my hometown and he pulled a knife on my sister, a friend, and me and took my spankin’ new portable stereo, in broad daylight on a busy street. My mom was mugged and seriously injured in Chicago trying to help a man figure out which bus to take.
When I was 15, I was also chased down by a neighborhood pervert who I previously thought was a gentle person. I had no idea what he planned to do, but when he finally caught up to me, I punched him in the face and shocked him enough to get away.
Everyone is a potential dangerous person. IMO you should always be on guard, especially if you are alone. And crime can happen ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.
I generally feel pretty safe and even talk to strangers regularly. The angry and threatening folks do scare me though. Especially when the anger seems out of proportion, it just makes me nervous that if they’ll react so badly to this or that, then what else will they do?
I also think how safe you feel is directly related to how confident you are about your own capabilities to defend yourself, though, more than any arbitrary measure of environmental risk. As a single female, I tend to be really careful in my own neighborhood. Yes, I used to tell the teenagers to watch their language near the elementary school, for instance, then I got vandalized and stopped. It didn’t make me feel unsafe in my own home, per se, just aware.
I’ve also noticed I react differently if my son is with me. Walking around downtown with my ten year old, I tend to err on the side of caution and avoid areas/people I wouldn’t avoid on my own. There’s just that constant awareness that if anything were to happen, I’d have to protect not only myself but him too.
