It is too fucking small a world for that!

I rent a strata title unit, basically one of four little brick homes sharing what was once the land of one or 2 suburban homes, no doubt originally with veggie patches, fruit trees, perhaps a shed for pottering about in and maybe even a chook pen for fresh eggs.

I have adjoining neighbours but we have a double brick wall between us so noise is rarely a problem. We share a side fence on our back yards. There is a sprog (small child) in the unit next door, he is cute. Sprog next door has acquired a toy that is definitely not so cute. I have not seen the offending object but I gather the parents are none too thrilled with it as the sprog has been banished to their tiny, concreted echoing square that passes for a back yard.

He has some item that plays very loudly a midi of Its a small world. He plays it over and over and over and over. The sound is intensified as it bounces off the bricks and concrete and in my closed windows. I first heard it last night as I was preparing to go out, the place was silent when I got home after pumpkin hour. I nearly forgot about it but it has started up again today.

Would it be wrong to jump the fence, take it from the 2 year old and stomp on it until it was dead? Perhaps I should beat his parents about the head with it for deciding to not keep this joy confined to indoors where it would not invade my aural space? There must be something I can do, I am starting to go the way of Lisa Simpson at Duff Gardens and I haven’t been near any toxic water.

Fuck the children, won’t somebody think of the neighbours?

Beautiful rant. As a father of a 1 year old, I understand (christmas was loaded with those types of toys from evil relatives and used to be friends).

A good dousing with the water hose should do the trick. The water will evaporate, and there will be no evidence of your deed.

I suspect mum was as sick of it as I was, I heard an exasperated sounding burst of Somali, a child start to squawk and that was the end. Oh please let it have been the end.

Of course it is still echoing my head but I have hopes that if not topped up it will eventually die away

Duff beer for me
Duff beer for you
I’ll have a Duff
You have one too

I think you should send the parents of the offending sprog this post, and its responses!

The parents and I get along great, I would describe our relationship as warm and friendly. However we do not have any language in common as yet. I think if I attempt to communicate my feelings on this matter the universal sign for throttling may come into play and be interpreted badly :wink:

Phew. I misread your OP the first time Thylacine and thought you wanted to stomp on the kid. Mind you, for some children I know, that may not be a bad idea. :smiley:

Pleased that the offending article seems to have died.

I love kids, I would never stomp on one!

It completely ruins the presentation if you break them.

[sub]I favour a white wine marinade and waiting for the flames to die down and for the coals to glow before adding the tender young sprog to the BBQ [/sub]

Who once said "People say I am a cruel man, but in fact I have the heart of a young boy.

I keep it on my desk, in a jar of alchohol". :smiley:

That was Steven King…

And I agree. Those toys can drive you nuts after a bit.

Have you ever been into the Australian Geographic shop in the city and seen the rubber balls they have there?

When you bounce them against the wall they start flashing lights and going DINGALINGALINGALING and WHEEEEEEEEEH! WHEEEEEEEEEH! and SHOONK SHOONK RATATATATAT

They are so cool! Every Christmas we go in there and consider the pleasure our three primary/preschool nephews would get from bouncing them all over the house.

Then we think about the pleasure that their parents would subsequently gain from removing our heads from our shoulders and sticking them on pikes by the front door. So we honourably refrain.

Your neighbor’s version sounds worse though.

Stuff the kids Aspidistra, I have one of those for my own pleasure! My SO went home to the states last time with one she shares with her son. I also love their spinning tops that light up and make noises when moving. In fact mine is currently spinning about my desk inspired by your post. Australian Geographic has some of the best toys around, go on, buy some. Hide them from kids though, they steal them.

LOL!

Eventually we made a compromise between kids’ pleasure and parents’ sanity and got them the sort that just flash silently. But yeah, I’m so with you on the general coolness of AG toys. Things to fiddle with! Buttons to press! (it must be the geek in me) Flashy lights to gaze at!

Hmmmm…and it’s Mr Aspy’s birthday this week, too. Wonder if I can get away with getting him a pressy that’s really for ME!

:evil chuckle:

Hmmm am now reconsidering your kind offer to babysit bubbaleechie.

I know you don’t drink leechbabe so that would be offensive wouldn’t it? Your sprog can be marinated in pepsi blue instead :wink:

Cooooool then it will really be like drinking/eating crushed smurf :slight_smile:

I think you should go knock on their door, smile, and then break into several verses of “It’s a Small World”.

Then smile sadly, make the universal sign for kill (drawing a finger along the throat in a horizontal slashing motion) and then make horrible choking sounds of “It’s a Small World” as it dies away.

They sound like nice people, and if they’re like most parents, they’ll be more than happy to kill the thing. (likely grandma and grandpa got it anyway).

Which is, of course, simply the playing out of the karmic debt inherent in “Wait until you have children of your own!”

I know my mother is eagerly waiting for my brother and sister-in-law (who live roughly 400 miles away) to start breeding. There are more sirens/bells/whistles/electronic-audio-doohickies in the gift closet than she could possibly give in two lifetimes.