On my way to work this morning I was pulled over by a state trooper. Earlier this week a co-worker kindly informed me that I had a taillight out (yes, I’m going to get it fixed, and soon). I had a feeling this is what the officer was pulling me over for. When he stopped me, he also told me that I had been driving 43 in a 30 mph zone. I really wasn’t paying attention to my speed as I was accelerating towards the light hoping to catch it while it was still green, but I didn’t explain this to the officer. During the entire process I remained calm and I didn’t display an attitude or show any anger. I kept my hands on the steering wheel where he could see them. In spite of all this I thought for sure he’d stick me with a fine for the speeding violation. Much to my pleasure, he let me off with a warning. It was the first time a policeman ever let me off with a warning and didn’t write up a ticket. In the past I had gotten tickets for speed violations, and in those cases I wasn’t as calm or as reserved in expressing my anger. I thanked the officer for letting me know about the taillight and I wished him a good day when he was done.
I just wanted to pass this along to my fellow Dopers. Next time you get stopped, make the police officer’s job as easy for him as you can. I’m sure they appreciate it.
I’m always cooperative, too, and it often pays off. I think of it as a contest between me and the cop: How can I bend him to my will? (My will being, of course, to not get a ticket) Not being blonde, female, and/or cute, I use politeness as my weapon. Going head-to-head by arguing doesn’t get you anywhere; cops are usually pretty macho, and they like to win arguments.
My husband and I have been calm and well-mannered too, the few times either of us have been pulled over. Once when I was in grad school and he was driving a few hundred miles to visit me, he was speeding on the highway and saw a cop car in the median as he came around the corner. He saw in his rear view that the car was trying to pull out onto the highway, so he simply pulled off the road, and when the cop came up, he had in his hand his license and proof of insurance, which he gave to the cop without being asked. This seemed to surprise the cop, who then asked the “do you know why I pulled you over” question. My husband just said that yes, he had been speeding. Cop asked why, and he explained he was going to visit his (then-)GF at her grad school the next state over, that he hadn’t seen her for a while and was rushing too much as a result. He took the info back to his car, ran the plates, and saw a clean record. (I’m not sure exactly how fast my husband was going, the limit was 65 and he was probably close to 10 over, perhaps a bit more.) He came back with a written warning and said that he’d better behave the rest of the trip, and my husband did.
Meanwhile, my father-in-law will be intentionally obnoxious, pulling the whole “I pay your salary” BS, being argumentative, even making a big deal about “I know your assistant chief” in one county where he does. And he wonders why he never gets warnings, heh.
Actually, I’ve found recently that it almost always pays off to be polite and friendly. I can’t remember a single instance in my life where being a loud-mouthed idiot has helped me. You know: flies, sugar, vinegar, etc.
Having a state trooper in MA for an uncle, I once posed exactly this question of him. I asked specifically for this once I got my licence, so I’d know what THEY want.
His response was simple. They don’t want to do the paperwork, they DO want to go home at the end of thier shift, with the lowest possible blood pressure. They ARE NOT looking to get into a conflict.
He said to me that when I get pulled over do the following:
SIGNAL YOUR INTENTION TO PULL OVER. The once in a safe place to do so, pull as far over to the right as you can. This makes their job easier, as they don’t have to have the cruiser as far out into the lanes of traffic.
Turn on your interior light, turn OFF the ignition, and sit calmly until the officer is at your window, THEN lower it. DO NOT reach for your registration/licence prior to his arrival, wait for the officer to ask. (they see you moving, and don’t know exactly what you are doing)
Be polite, and clear with how you answer their questions. Sit calmly when they go off to run your info through the system.
It’s simple, the police have a wide range of options when they pull you over, and if you cause them problems, they will not hesitate to write you up. If you seem like a nice person, that doesn’t cause grief, they are more likely to let you go with just the warning.
Doesn’t always work, but once I reached adulthood, and understood what he was saying to me, I’ve found I have much better luck with not getting the ticket.
The only time it pays to let off a little steam is when you have reached the point where you are no longer able to deal with this person and need to escalate to the next level. A judicious display of righteous indignation at that point will generally get you moved up to the supervisor.
Then, a very small amount of indignation is appropriate when bringing the supervisor up to speed. Once that is done, you must back off and be polite…until you have exhausted what the supervisor can do for you and need to bump it up to the manager, etc.
Note: there is a fine line between displaying a “judicious” amount of righteous indignation and being a total a-hole. You have to walk this line very carefully.