Mouse_Maven, while I agree your comeback was a bit ass-ish, it’s better than what I have done – which is to say, I haven’t spoken to my mother since…uhmmm…1992? It’s much easier for me this way. I applaud your ability to keep her around, you’re a better person than I!
Of course, I do have to point out that my daughter (that my mother thought should have been aborted because she mightgasp turn out like me) is so much like my sister (whom my mother adores) that I have actually called her by my sister’s name on occasion without realising it. Funny how that works…kind of reminds me of the old “single mother pregnant in a society where she may have been stoned for being pregnant, should she have aborted the baby jesus” pro-life thing. heh.
“Well mom, scientists have now determined that intellegence, mental stability, performance in school, etc. are 100% environmental. So the problems I’ve had are ALL YOUR FAULT!!!”
M-M: I do not suggest you do this in real life, but I post it to lift your spirits and give you a necessary chuckle:
Mouse_Mother: Oh, how horrible you’re going to have a child and have it stuck with your awful genes, etc., etc.
Mouse_Maven: You know, mother, you’re right. We’ve decided there’s nothing we can do about the genetic makeup, but we’ll limit the child’s exposure to destabilizing influences that could hurt it. beat We will send you a picture every year or two, though.
Mothers are not the only ones who get this sort of thing in their heads. I mentioned I liked the color purple. My MIL gave me the ugliest purple shirt she could find five Christmases in a row.
Clever and hilarious, to be sure. But I’m thinking of a more practical solution. “Mom, I love you, but I’m sick and tired of you saying things like that. Regardless of what some idiotic test said 30 years ago, I am quite intelligent, and have proven so time and time again. If you find it impossible to acknowledge that, then I’m afraid that we are not going to speak ever again.”
