It’s 4:24 AM as I begin to type this. From 3:53 to 4:09 you sat outside with your profanity-laden rap music playing loudly enough that I could understand every fuck this, bitch that, suck my dick the other word inside my house, a room away from the street, even though you were parked across the street and up the block.
At 4:10 the music stopped. I was about to be happy but then the yelling argument started. Now the fuck this and bitch that and suck my dick other was coming from you, at increasing volume and levels of agitation.
It’s 4:26 now and you’re still at it. I’ve heard two of my neighbors yell at you to shut up because it’s after four in the fucking morning and you assholes actually had the nerve to yell back at them to mind their own business.
Hey, dickheads, when someone is yelling outside of my window at 4 in the morning, it is my business.
Go back to whatever hellhole you came from and pull this shit there. Oh, no, wait, you can’t, because now I see who you are. You’re the new neighbors who came from some godforsaken ghetto from hell. And I can guaranfuckingtee you that whatever slimepit you came from, your neighbors there, being the denizens of a slimepit, would not have merely yelled at you for arguing in the street at 4 AM, they would’ve come outside and showed you why that sort of antisocial behavior is unacceptable. You’re taking advantage of the fact that this neighborhood is more civilized than the hellhole you recently vacated.
It’s 4:32. I can still hear you. Now you’re yelling at the cops who thankfully took my 911 call about a voluble and violent argument outside at this hour quite seriously, and came with a quickness. (Now if only their flashing red and blue lights weren’t strobing into all of our windows at this hour. But that’s another story.)
You know, I don’t care if this night ends up with you in jail, cited for public disturbance or just getting a swift talking-to. You’re having face time with cops who will remember you, make note of you and where you live, and will have your address on record should someone have to call 911 on your asses again. Knowing that you come from slums, I’m betting that having to deal with cops is really making your night.
It’s now 4:36. Another police car has arrived. Many car doors are being opened and closed. These are sounds I can accept at this hour because they sound like someone might be heading for lockup.
Sucks to be you, assholes. Remember this the next time you think you can inflict your selfish, stupid, classless behavior on the community in which you now (hopefully temporarily) dwell.
Maybe by 4:45 I will be asleep.