It's a complete goat rope.

Sure this phrase is just a mishearing of Goa Trope? Referring of course to the meme of the famously disorganised former Portuguese colony in India, now virtually a hippie colony.

Yes, I suppose it would adhere rather stubbornly.

well, it would be sticky

Another favorite in the Navy was describing something as “like watching monkeys trying to fuck a football.”

The genius of this description is almost Zen-like.

Clusterfuck as I heard it , was to denote a screw up commited by a major.


A friend of mine worked for a lobster fisherman who was ex Coast Guard. He refered to any pleasure boater as a “goat roper”. Especially those who got into trouble and had to call for help.

It is my misfortune to own a goat. Yes, I am a goat roper. Have you ever had the pleasure of untangling a rope after a goat has been working on it? Thats all I’m going to say on this subject, except if some one offers you a goat “to eat the poisen ivy” don’t partake.

Bob Z

But is it true that goat ropes are nine yards long?

It was my experience that the football usually came out on top.

Drill Sergeant variant (about a clumsy recruit): “Watchin’ that boy tie his bootlaces is like watching a retard trying to fuck a doorknob.”

I remember this term coming up in one of my books of curious phrases as:

Meaning, of course, that the speaker has seen everything. As I recall, this was supposed to be the clean version, the dirty one using either the word “fucking” or “raping.”

Perhaps I’m overly formal, but I’d always heard the full phrase as a “Mongolian clusterf__k.” Why that particular intensifier, haven’t a clue.

That was from a George Carlin routine. It was when he expanded his seven dirty words. He pulled out a roll of paper and let it roll across the stage. Mongolian Clusterfuck was one of his terms.

Here you can see Carlin go through the list. You have to wait till about 5:41 to hear MCF. (Just footage of Carlin on stage but obviously the language is NSFW) That clip is from 82. I seem to remember it getting longer.

Here’s a classic goat rope:

See here.


Please, for the love of Maude, what in the blue fuck is an Alabama dick dance?!
Did I somehow miss the explanation somewhere?

It’s just like a goat rope only with less rope.
Looking at it from another point of view, it’s just like a clusterfuck without the cluster.

Ah! This brings back memories of what I thought was the ultimate putdown of a none-to-enchanting individual:

“He looks like the syphilitic remains of a Mongolian Grudge Fuck”

Misread thread title as “It’s a complete goat rape”.

Just imagine my disappointment.

I think initiations take place in MPSIMS.

When I was a tyke, an eon or so ago, a “goat-roper” was someone considered a hick even by the residents of a small, rural town. It also applied to certain types of cowboy boots, but I was never sure just what made a pair of boots “goat-ropers”. It may have been along the line of “shit-kickers”, but then I was never quite sure just what those were either. (My boot education was sadly lacking.)

And I, too, am still waiting for the exact definition of Alabama Dick Dance. Nuances, people, nuances are important!

Hmmmm. If it really went down the way the family says it went down, any reason you’d need to shoot the goat?