It's a stimulus bill? Are we supposed to help out by ordering stuff?

A “stimulus bill” is usually intended to induce consumers and others to spend, I think. So are we to be encouraged to spend right now? Our local take-out restaurant, definitely, but I’m really wondering about Amazon and similar product delivery folks?

There are all sorts of things I would like, which aren’t necessary for survival. I’m reluctant to order a replacement garden hose fitting or a new cutoff saw, because these aren’t critical needs, and I imagine the system is so stressed just trying to keep up with critical needs. I doubt people are happy to get the overtime (if that’s what’s happening).

Have I got that wrong, though? Are we supposed to feel stimulated?

I miscalculated earlier; we might receive $600 eventually. We’re stocked on consumables. We recently bought a generator, hearing aids, underwear, and pottery. Neither motor vehicles nor skateboards loom in our immediate future. We’ll need a new toilet, roof, and septic-pumping next year. I guess we can buy penny stocks, like GE. Or just go for a stack of chips at a Reno casino. Yeah, stimulate Nevada!

How many bailout checks will be spent on lottery tickets?

You’re supposed to keep paying your rent, keep paying your bills, keep doing whatever you were doing before the government ordered you to stop doing it - and resume doing it once the government says it’s okay. And at that point, do your best to forget any of this ever happened.

That’s a great way to spend it - that money goes right to the state.

$600 or even $1200 per person is not going to go far toward paying rent unless you live in a cardboard box or can zap yourself back to 1995. And it’s the local businesses, not Amazon, that need stimulating, but most of them are closed or soon will be.

This is less an economic stimulus package and more of a “Yes, the virus is ba–oh, look! Money! Who’s your daddy?” ploy to get votes. And predictably, big corporations will get most of the money.