“voluntary” and “a valuable and fun learning experience” my ass!
I HATED selling those fuckers. My mom was the troop leader (another source of much childhood trauma - Girl Scouts wasn’t supposed to be fun, it was supposed to be yet another area where her little darling achieved). There was no chance of her selling them for me at work. No, no, I had to do it myself - I’d walk door to door in the immediate neighborhood and then she’d haul my reluctant ass around for miles around. The worst thing about Girl Scout cookies is that you have to do everything twice - once to take the orders, once to deliver.
I’m pretty lucky that no pedophiles lived in my neighborhood, because I did do lots of the legwork alone in my cute little jumper and sash and beret and kneesocks, and I’ve had these boobs since about the 5th grade. Fortunately we did have a local drug kingpin down the street (currently serving time). He was always happy to launder money through my Girl Scout Cookie, Band Box-O-Crap, French Club Advent Calendar, or Soccer Team Candy Bar enterprises - soon I learned to just go straight there in order to meet my quota. I’d spend the rest of the afternoon down by the pond and come home being able to say truthfully “Yeah, I sold them all.” Of course, then I knew him as “the nice rich guy with the big swimming pool and 4 motorcycles in his living room.”
And what is it with these companies that manufacture and push products for school fundraisers? Is there some Future Amway Salespeople of America Club? “Get them meeting sales goals while they are young and cute, by the time the graduate, they’ll be unstoppable! If they can push this crap, they can push anything! Mwhaahahahahahahahah!”
In D.C., I could never leave a metro station without some 11-year-old selling chocolates for new football uniforms for his school. What kind of degrading, piece-of-shit way to spend time is that? “Hey kid, take this box of chocolates downtown to where all the rich people work. Their guilty consciences are a goldmine!” It’s not like the kids see any of the money for their hard work. Someday when I have money I’m gonna sponser a goddamned soccer team just so those particular 15 kids don’t have to spend their youth selling CRAP.
[sub]So, anyone know anyone selling thin mints? Dude, seriously, hook me up. I’m dying here.[/sub]