I’ve been needing to pick up some rather bulky items from Lowes, and take some things to Best Buy for recycling, and my friend’s car is too small for the job, so we’d decided that some weekend we would go to Enterprise and rent something larger for the day. Yesterday we went to Enterprise and picked up an SUV, but found out that since they close at noon on Saturday and aren’t open on Sunday, we would have to rent it for the entire weekend. Except because they don’t open on Monday until after my friend has to be at work, she’s not going to be able to return it until after work, so I’m going to have to pay to rent it for another day, during which time it will just be sitting in the parking lot at her office.
I started reading this and was thinking that it all sounded so familiar to my own situation so I was feeling not much in the way of sympathy. But, it just kept going and getting worse and blew past the minor shit I have to deal with. I am so sorry things are so bad right now and I wish that something really really awesome happens to you today.
Yesterday, started out cold and raining and then got to partly cloudy and in the 50’s.
Ok, so today should be good, right? My day off? I can get out, right?
9am, get up and find it is 32 degrees, raining and windy.
FUCK.
There’s an old Bob Newhart bit about bus drivers that you might enjoy. 
Home Depot rents out their big vans for $20, and you can keep it long enough to take your bulky stuff home. I don’t know if Lowes does that.
I love my town. I really really do.
I just hate the fucking old people in it.
Yesterday while coming home I needed to stop at Walmart to get milk. The old lady in front of me at the light takes the entire (long) green arrow to make the left turn and then proceeds to drive 20-22mph in the 35 mph zone all the way down to Walmart. When she gets there, she turns left into the lot and then comes to a complete stop the moment her back tires cross the curb into their parking lot. Overly long pause, then drive 10mph to a spot. Seriously, if you don’t feel comfortable driving 35mph or pulling into a parking lot, you need to surrender your driver’s license.
Today I went to the grocery store. Older (roughly 60’ish) woman hustles to get in front of me for the express lane. Starts to unload her stuff as far back from the open conveyer belt as she can. No one in front of her. Makes sure to walk backwards into my cart trying to shove me even farther away from it. No, I can’t back up, there’s someone behind me. I said “excuse me” and gave her a dirty look. She literally takes 3 full minutes to carefully pull out two wind chimes to have the guy scan them, and then carefully put them back. Then instead of moving down to the special counter at the end for writing out checks, she sprawls over the top of the conveyer like she’s trying to occupy as much of it as possible, with her cart between us for good measure, and writes out the sequel to War and Peace on her check.
She finally grabs her cart and starts moving away. I start putting my stuff on the conveyer. She pauses and shoots me an insulted look. Then she goes down and slowly picks up her bags and gets her change (she wrote a check over the amount).
Then while the clerk is putting my groceries in a bag, she looks at me, looks at the bag, says “Oh, I forgot this bag” AND TRIES TO TAKE MY STUFF. While the clerk is putting my stuff in it. He grabbed the bag and pulled it back so she couldn’t take it. He apologizes to me for her as she stands there looking confused and insulted.
Then she stands there hovering over the bag (I half expected her to try to take it again), preventing me from moving forward to allow the next person to put his stuff on the conveyer and standing in front of the CC machine I will need to use to pay for my stuff, complaining that she didn’t get the correct change and she wants him to check the register. “No ma’am, I’m in the middle of ringing him up, you will have to wait until I’m done for me to check the register.” She continues standing there. As the clerk is finishing up my stuff, I point at the CC machine and say “Ma’am, I’m going to need that to pay for my stuff.” She glares at me and then steps 2 feet away counting her money over and over again.
When I’m done paying, she finally bothers to check her receipt and see that she did in fact get the correct change. But as I walk out, she continues to stand there looking irritated and insulted.
This is where I wish I could abduct these people and subject them to a Clockwork Orange-ish video wall informing them “There are other people in the world besides you”.
I believe that Lowes does have a similar rental option, or at least I seem to remember seeing signs about it on one of my trips there several years ago. Of course, I completely forgot about it until after we had rented the SUV. I’m going to try to remember to keep it in mind if the situation ever comes up again - which I’m sure it will, and I’m considering a major gardening project for next year, time and finances permitting.
I love my mom very much; so why can’t I spend more than a couple of days with her before I want to start screaming (in general and at her)? She really is a nice lady; she just seems to find every little way to make me completely crazy (and oh, it is little, tiny stuff - if I gave you a list, you’d think it was the pettiest shit ever). She’s visiting my sister now; three days until SHE’S completely crazy.
Your family can always push your buttons, because they’re the ones who installed them.
I would like to thank the powers that be at my college for not differentiating between the end of regular classes and finals week. I love looking at all the happy posts from my friends on facebook and reading comments about “CLASSES ARE OVER!!” “NO MORE XXXXXX CLASS!!!” “FINALS TIME!!!” all while I sit here trying to pound out the last assignment that my professor felt it was necessary to give TODAY, the first day of finals week. I can’t even be pissed at her about it because they put “last day of classes/exams” on the schedule. But, the only other times I’ve had professors still doing classes the final week is when they aren’t giving a final, and she is.
WARNINGPOOP TALK BELOW***
I also think I may have a stomach bug. I woke up at 5am with a horrible desire to vomit, which I am incapable of doing. I dealt with the explosive diarrhea instead and went back to sleep. Ever since then, the diarrhea keeps attacking and I would really LOVE to puke. I am cold and sweaty but either my temp is 96° or both my thermometers are broken. My head hurts. My eyes hurt. My knuckles hurt.
Ugh. This is not the time for this.
As long we we’re into poop talk…
I was on Diclofenac for just over 2 months, milking it out a little by not taking it on the weekends. One of the side effects* was a bit of constipation. I would resolve that about once a week by eating a bunch of dried apricots, which has the beneficial effect of loosening things up a bit.
I took the last diclofenac Tuesday morning.
Thursday night I started going. And going. And going.
I think I’m empty now. I could be wrong.
- I hate taking prescription drugs. I always seem to get nailed by the side effects.
I thought May was supposed to be the lusty month? Oh man, eleven months of waiting all for nuthin’.
I am contractually obligated to weigh in whenever the talk turns to poop.
Chimera, don’t count on being empty. Trust me on this. Your bowels are feeling abused, and they are going to make you as miserable as possible in return, so they’re gonna hold onto some stuff until you can’t get to a bathroom. THEN the last will appear.
Perhaps they’ll change the thread title? On the plus side, it is mad and gay.
YOU are??!!??
Funny, I had somehow formed the impression that it was the guy posting just above you.
Dear Okra Plants:
I would like to apologize to you. When I planted you, I promised you warm, sun-drenched soil I could not have anticipated that it would be in the 50s. In May. In Texas.
We are on track to beat the current record low-high temp by 5-7 degrees (F) easily. Brr.
On top of that it’s pouring rain AND I have to drive an unfamiliar car: my FIL’s old-people car, which handles exactly the way old people drive.
Also: Gov. Perry. Please stop being such a gaping asshole. Yes, we had some wildfires in Texas. But you stomping your feet and throwing a temper tantrumthat the guvmint declared a federal disaster in other states and not yours is making us all look bad.
Current tornado death count: 345.
Texas wildfire death count: 2.
Bees, when someone builds a pretty box for you to live in, and places you in the box with a feeder full of sugar water, your reaction should not be “Hey, I found a nice rotten tree trunk to go live in” and fly away the next day.
Well, I’m not here to talk about poop… except that I feel kind of shitty today. My foot hurts (fractured, badly sprained, plus, apparently, when the ligament stretched, it pulled a nice little sliver of bone free from its original home base. Lovely.) I have pain medication, and it makes me nauseous. Doc said not to take ibuprofen or naproxen, because it can slow healing in a fracture. Acetominophen (sp?) doesn’t do a damned bit of good - might as well take sugar pills. Need to drive about 45 miles from here to drop off some paperwork regarding our upcoming move, but man, I hurt too much to consider that drive right now…
And I just logged on to mini-rant about my Mom.
Yeah Mom, some of your kids and grandkids are screw-ups. But you are supposed to love and support your nieces, nephews and cousins instead of reveling in delight whenever they do something you can spin as a major screw-up.
Please note I didn’t say commit a major scew-up, I said “do something you can spin as a major screw-up”.
Her college-aged great-niece ( my cousin ) was in an accident that totalled her car, the girl was unhurt. My mom calls and says…“Laura just totalled the car her Mom bought her, she was driving really fast and just slammed it right into another car.”
Me…“huh”…
Mom…“Yeah, she was driving too fast to maintain control of her vehicle and someone made a left in front of her and she wasn’t able to stop in time”.
Me…“doesn’t sound like it was her fault to me…did anyone say she was driving too fast or even driving fast?”
Mom…“No, she says she wasn’t but if she hadn’t been she would’ve been able to stop in time.”
With apologies to my cousin, this is where I give up because I know how my Mom is when she gets like this…logic is the enemy. So I rant here., oh well.
Not to derail the thread or anything, but…how do you figure it’s NOT your niece’s fault? Are you unfamiliar with tailgating? What about blame-shifting?
You want poop talk? I got yer poop talk right here!
TMI, obvy:
[spoiler]Between pregnancy, prenatal vitamins, and milk being basically the only thing I can reliably eat (drink?) and not feel like crap after, I’ve been constipated. So much so that the other day, my poo got stuck on the way out. When I was at work. And I was forced to take some toilet paper and attempt to pull it out. And then I broke through the TP and got it all on my hands. At which point I gave up and dug it all out of myself with my finger. And then washed my hands a thousand times.
Ever felt the inside of your own rectum? I have! Thanks pregnancy! My mantra the past three months “This baby better be worth it. This baby better be worth it…”
[/spoiler]