Look, bus drivers: it ain’t cute to take off from the bus stop while passengers are still making their ways to their seats. I’m sure you all got a big laugh back at the bus barn over the poor sap who went flying today. Didn’t you notice that he was limping when he got on? Asshole.
I know that acting is a tough business to get into. I accept that for a long time, I will be doing mainly unpaid projects in order to learn my craft and build enough experience to make myself interesting to a talent agent. Most of those projects promise that in lieu of pay, they will at least feed you… oh, and you’ll get a copy of the project for your reel.
They usually do feed you, too, even though it’s usually just pizza (which I should not be eating). But damn it, Directors Who Do Not Pay, WHY does it take you so goddamned long to get those copies out? I’ve been trying to get some of them to get me the copies for more than a YEAR. I NEED that footage to show an agent, you assholes!
My credit union is officially changing names tomorrow. The NCUA took over last year and the new management is converting their systems this weekend. This change comes with the special added bonus feature of locking me out of my account until Monday. Way to impress the new customers, guys!
It’s Golden Week here in Japan and it’s raining. I’m hungover and I can’t enjoy the cherry blossoms. I also have work tomorrow.
Oh, and how could I forget the big kicker. At a party last night I discovered my jeans had a hole in the absolutely worst place to have one. In Japan they don’t believe in chairs or something so I went to adjust my legs and… why hello! Lefty and Righty were just chillin’ out, enjoying the party. Luckily nobody noticed but when my GF asked why I needed her sweater…geez. I think she laughed for 10 minutes straight. Then the old man who looked like Piccolo from DBZ decided to start riding me like a horse.
I’ve been adjusting my eating and exercise habits. And I’ve lost something like thirty pounds so far. Yay!
I’ve been allowing myself one old-normal day a month. Today was it. And I ate heartily. Probably about as much as I did before. Now I am experiencing the wholly new and utterly unpleasant sensation of having overeaten. I am in pain. Why the fuck else would I be posting here at two in the godforsaken morning on my damn iPhone?
At least it’s ensuring that I’ll never fucking do it again. Sigh.
Over the past two months I have had 9 cavities filled, not to mention two root canals still awaiting crowns. I don’t know what I hate more: the weekly visits with all the poking and drilling and grinding, or the amount of money I’ve wasted on fixing my useless teeth.
(It’s the money. No contest.)
Note to self: see dentist more frequently than once every 11 years.
I’ve been working on this humongous project for school that is way more of a monster than I expected (it’s a “build this thing” project, not a “write a paper” project, which would be a breeze) and I’m at the end of my rope. I haven’t really slept all week- a nap here and there. I slept three hours last night by accident- woke up clutching my alarm clock and not really sure if I turned the alarm off by accident or if I fell asleep while setting it. That’s the longest I’ve slept all week. I have school every day and then work after that every day and NO TIME to do this thing except overnight. And everyone is on my ass about something or other that I’m completely failing to do
I’m physically falling apart. Everything on me aches so badly right now I just don’t even want to move. I just want to sleep. I can’t think straight or concentrate and have been in a constant state of one-second-away-from-a-panic-attack for days (someone yesterday mentioned that I would see something at work on Tuesday and I about broke down right there because Tuesday is the closest thing I have in my life to a day off and she often schedules me on Tuesdays anyway and I CANNOT TAKE IT this weeek but I’m just on call for Tuesday so that’s okay.
My life and my house is all in a fucking state, too. My dog seems permanently annoyed with me and will. not. get out. of my face. The house is a disgusting level of mess that only comes about when I literally do not have the energy to think about things I normally do automatically, like turning out lights behind me or picking up my clothes off the bathroom floor. And EVERYONE is on my ass about something. Call someone, do something, you fail and fail and fail and fail. And it just keeps piling on in little things, like this week is a year since my dad died and like the girl I called the cops on a couple weeks ago just found out her parents aren’t going to pay to “fix” her arrest and, as a person who has already gone way out of her way to fuck up my life in ways you would expect from Disney villains and not real people, is mad at me once again and is talking about all the things she’s going to do to me. Or that I’ve looked everywhere and torn the house apart and can’t find the paperwork for my foster dog or the receipt for the contact lenses that I’m supposed to pick up or oh, that there’s something wrong with my car that I seriously cannot afford to fix right now or god so many other things.
There isn’t even really an end in sight, after exams. I have 36474858 other things that I still have to get done after that, too. I’m going to lose my mind. Honestly the only thing keeping me from killing myself is just that if I failed and had to be in the hospital a few days, none of this would go away and it would all just be worse and I’d miss my classes and all this work on this hideous project would be for nothing. But good god do I want to sink into the floor and never, ever, come out.
Could be worse. When my already damaged top right molar cracked a few months back, I assumed my dental insurance was comparable to my extremely shitty health insurance and had the tooth pulled because there was no way I would be able to afford the 40% out of pocket for a root canal and crown that I saw under ‘level 3’ on the card.
When a tooth on the lower right was possibly in need of a root canal last week, I panicked, thinking I can’t just keep going about yanking teeth. The dentist checked and found that it was 100% covered.
I could have kept the top right molar. kick. kick. kick.
As it was, the bottom left only needed a filling, but it was a close call.