April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread)

Starting this up because it’s April 2nd and people are still posting in the March thread. Feel free to lock or delete if this is inappropriate and/or a duplicate.

Amazon, what the hell?! “Off” doesn’t mean “off most of the time, except when streaming video.” I have one-click disabled because I NEVER wish to make a purchase with one errant click. And yet, when I double-clicked to minimize the show I was watching full-screen, my mouse cursor was inadvertently in just the [del]right[/del]wrong position to purchase a season of the show for $21. I immediately closed the tab, but of course it was too damn late to cancel the purchase.

You fuckers WILL give me a refund. At least the rep was nice about it, but he had to escalate my issue to an Instant Video specialist. I won’t get my refund until later in the week. And now I can’t keep watching the season I started, because otherwise I might not get my money back on account of watching the episodes I didn’t mean to purchase in the FIRST goddamn place. grumble grumble

Oh, here it is!

I’d been wondering whether anybody would dare open a new Mini-Rants Thread on April 1st. Either nobody dared, or nobody could be arsed.

My boss is out this week. I have a ton of things I need to do, but which I can’t do until I get feedback/information. Said information has to come from him; there is one case in which I’m reasonably sure it should come from someone else, but the someone else is being a lazy bum.

I hate being bored at work, but I hate it even more when I’m reasonably sure that once I start unblocking doors, the work will come pouring it by the truckfull :frowning:

Can I make a polite request to all companies that have music to listen to when your customers are on hold?
Please make your fucking music loop longer than 2.5 minutes when you know godfuckingdamn well you’re going to keep people on hold for at least 20 minutes.

I fucking hate people at work who disagree with EVERYTHING simply because I’m the one making the suggestion. Look, Bitchy McBitcherson, just because you or one of your pets didn’t think this up doesn’t mean it’s a shitty idea. I get it - you don’t like me. Shockingly, I loathe you, too. However, by some quirk of fate, we’re supposed to be managing certain processes together. With that in mind, I fail to understand why you have to be such an obstructionist! I mention trying something, you tell me all the ways that couldn’t possibly work. I provide sales figures, you e-mail me that I’m wrong, even though your own report disagrees.

Why the ever loving fuck can’t you just shut it for a change? I’m sick of hearing from you and you are one of the major reasons that marketing and systems refuse to work with us. They’ve explicitly stated that you are no longer allowed to go talk to their programmers and copywriters because you go over there so frequently they cannot work!

In fact, your demand for more staff because the shitty employees you current manage who don’t do jiggity jack shit is probably what tipped our VP over the edge into requiring a profitability analysis, which isn’t going to be pretty. Ugh. I hate you, hate you, hate you. I’m looking for a different job now and I can’t wait for the day I leave and you sink.

I don’t want to start a thread, so hopefully y’all won’t mind if I dump this here… is it just me or are we knee-deep in racist fucktards here of late? Perhaps I’m being oversensitive, but it seems as though we’ve got not only an influx of new racist fucktards, but a significant emboldening the ones we already had.

Anyway… I hate racist fucktards. I’m unapologetically racistist.

How dare you! Everyone knows that people who proclaim to be open-minded must accept everyone or else they’re just hypocrites!


I pit knowing someone who is being annoying online in a way that I’m finding hard to anonymize properly considering how Google-able this place is. End result: I may find myself snapping and telling her that a benefit of being with a guy who isn’t gay is that you actually get sex from him, for starters. (Sub-argument: If a guy doesn’t want to date you, that doesn’t make him a despicable human being.) Hooray for self-sabotage…

Look, you retarded Latvian ClothesAid charity van driver, stop parking your feckin’ huge van so that it blocks my gates. How do you think I’m going to get my car off my drive and onto the road? Levitation?

Yes, I know you are foreign and maybe the simple rules of sensible parking don’t apply to you, but get a grip otherwise I’ll be phoning the police and getting them to tow away your van so that you get to pay the impound fees before you get it back. Stick that up yer charity backside!

What the hell is biting me? I haven’t seen a single mosquito yet, and I think I got a bite overnight - I checked the bed for bedbugs, but didn’t see any. It might be fleas from the cats, but we don’t really have fleas in Calgary. WTF, man? I’ve got about seven highly itchy red bites on my legs!

I’ve seen some of the little bastards already. Thankfully it’s supposed to be cool this week, so maybe that will get rid of them.

My allergies. I haaaaaate them.

Seriously, on top of my daily Zyrtec (the non D kind), I’ve had to start popping Benedryl just so I can survive. I seriously sneezed so much on the 4 hour drive to my Las Vegas office yesterday that my whole body hurts.

WTF is up with jeans these days and their little tiny zippers? How the hell am I supposed to wear pants that barely do up around my hips and don’t even cover my entire asscrack? Who on earth finds that comfortable, apart from 14 year old emo kids? Every damn pair of jeans I try on has that little bitty zipper. Nobody’s ass is only 4 inches high, jeans-companies, how about making your damn pants fit normal people in a normal manner.

If you hadn’t closed the tab, I bet you’d have seen an “undo” link you could have clicked on.

The point of One-click buying isn’t to trick people into buying with misclicks. It’s to remove the “are you really sure?” page that other stores have. It’s much better to just say “You bought this thing.Click here to cancel” than to make everyone confirm several times before buying. All Amazon has done is frame the purchase differently so that the default action is to buy, rather than the default being not to buy, after you’ve clicked a link to buy.

You need to find a store that has jeans with a longer “rise”. Descriptions like “mid-rise” may indicate jeans that sit high enough for you, or look for things like “at the waist” or “just below the waist.” If you’re really lucky, some manufacturers may even list rise as a measurement.

No idea what your gender is, but I’m a guy and only buy Levis now. Those designs simply don’t change. They add new ones, but the 569s I just bought are the same cut and fit as the five year old pair I just retired.

People who let their little kids play games on the Kindle Fire are pissed about it, too. I unassociated all credit cards with my Amazon account, so it shouldn’t happen again, but I’m going to have to keep deleting cards every time I make a purchase in the future. I sincerely wish that weren’t necessary.

I hate having options removed. If there are people who have a good reason to prevent their account from using one-click in EVERY situation (and there are), there should be an option to completely turn it off. But there is no opt-out for digital purchases.

Fucking asshole worthless shithead fathers. That’s who.

The father of my g/f’s son is supposed to have him on Saturdays and Sundays during the day (kiddo stays with hiis Mom at night still). In addition to the days I have him during the week, I have my son every other weekend.

This means that we should be able to look forward to a whole day with each other at least one day every other weekend.

Nope, fuckstick just stops in for a couple hours, or like yesterday, calls and says he’s just going to stay home and ‘work on some stuff.’

Goddamn. Look, only about 1/4 of this rant is me being pissed that my time is being fucked with. We still get plenty of time together in the evenings. It’s mostly because this shitheel won’t man up and actually be a good dad to this kid.

This isn’t an isolated incident, either. And every time it happens, little Timmy is disappointed and says “Hey, wasn’t my dad supposed to be here today? Why isn’t he?” and his mom has to play it off and make it better.

Fucking guy doesn’t ‘get’ it. He doesn’t give a shit about what the kid thinks. Seriously dude, re-arrange your goddamn schedule so that you can do what you’re supposed to do…you only ‘have’ to see your son 16 or so hours a week…I think you can get up the enthusiasm and at least pretend, for his sake, that you fucking care.

I pit my friend who frequently logs on to Facebook to complain about being a Mom to her two kids (ages 3 and 7 mos).

They won’t sleep in! They constantly want my attention! Can’t Mommy have two minutes? When can I get a drink?

The kicker was this weekend. I innocently go on to Facebook. Of course! Here she is complaining (AGAIN).

Two stories down from her’s in my timeline, a friend and ex co-worker of mine (actually her husband) posted about how their one-month old baby passed away from an infection on Friday. Their first baby. Their devastation. My heart immediately felt 200 lbs. for them. My Saturday was peppered with crying off and on and thinking about those heartbroken parents. I am crying typing this.

To my complaining Mom friend–STFU! COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

That is all…

Not to mention that listening to moms complaining about their kids is really frickin’ boring.

This is just about perfect for a mini-rants thread - I forgot that my pottery store is closed on Mondays, so I drove 10 miles or so for nothing at all. Sigh.

Feel ya!

I finally, after maybe 10 attempts, quit trying to go to Hobby Lobby on Sundays.

Buncha Quakers.

To my family:
No, I don’t just sit my ass on the couch all day, watching TV. I AM WORKING. See this nifty laptop, open and whirring? See the phone plugged in? I am lucky that I can put it aside when any of you come over, but do you notice how I start to push you out after 15 minutes? That’s because I have to get back to work. The time I spend listening to you gripe about school / your job / how it must be nice to be a lazy government worker is time taken away from actually doing my job and it subsequently becomes time I have to work later. So when you’re home, beer in hand, watching TV - I’m still working.

And yes, the time I just spent bitching is time I have to work back. THAT wasted time I am okay with.