It’s not the phrase “Happy Holidays.” It’s the fact that many stores were willing to be rude to Christians by not acknowledging the essentially Christian nature of the season.
Christians own the whole season now? What, one day a week isn’t good enough?
How Christian is it, really? I mean, it does have the name, but most of the gifting, trees, feasting, and decor have fuck-all to do with Jesus. It seems like you see less of the “angels and manger” Christmas and more of the “Santa and commercialism” Christmas every year. So, should those who celebrate a mostly secular Christmas (which is responsible for the vast majority of those retail sales you seem to deem so important) call it something else? I mean, a lot of those people aren’t even Christian!
I used to just grumble quietly about seeing idiots get in the faces of cashiers who say “happy holidays”, and sympathize with them when it was my turn in line.
After reading this thread, the next time I see it some rude Christian is going to have to acknowledge the essentially Buddhist nature of my boot in their ass.
And if you don’t know that his religion even celebrates a holiday at this time of year, what are you telling him? To enjoy someone else’s holiday?
One of the strangest things about the internet is the way total strangers on a message board seem to think that I crave their respect.
“Good Morning.”
“It’s not monring, it’s Christmas asshole!”
“Umm, ok.”
I’d be willing to compromise and let them get snarky, say, on the actual day of Christmas, if they’d agree to piss off for the rest of the season.
“Mommy, Mommy, that man failed to distinctly validate my own specialness AND the essentially Christian nature of the entire shopping season!”
“Son, how did you get to be such a simpering pussy? Have you been watching Fox again?”
Christians have always pretty much owned the whole season. We wouldn’t be having all this ruckus at the end of the year if it weren’t for Christmas in the first place. Hannukha was a relatively trivial Jewish holiday until American Jews had to compete with Christmas to keep the attention of their kids. Kwaanza is a joke. I’m not aware of any major religion in North America besides Christianity which has a major holiday this time of year. So, yeah, it’s reasonable to speak of all this as a Christian holiday season.
My favorite example was a house with the greatest Poe’s law Christmas decoration I’d ever seen. I don’t think it was ironic because in other years they had done what I called “The Green Monster” (a giant six foot tall plywood sign spanning the whole font yard that said Merry Christmas) and “Jesus on a Pike” (where the sole decoration for the house was the baby Jesus floating five feet off the ground. The only problem was that the large rod they used made it look like he was mounted by the rectum on a huge pike. )
Anyway, my favorite year had Jesus in the front yard, laying as if in a manger. Standing over him, looking lovingly down on him, was a six foot plastic Santa.
As I said, I don’t believe it was intended as an ironic comment.
Are you telling me that November through January didn’t exist before Christianity? Seriously? We skipped right from fall harvest to late winter with no intervening days at all?
There is a Christian holiday - derived from “holy day”, singular - in there but the entire season is called “winter” and everyone experiences it, Christian or no. Do you have any idea how ridiculous such an assertion makes you look?
I live in a liberal enough neighborhood that I could probably get away with this as an ironic comment. Hm.
Happy Shopping Season! 
I like Merry Giftmas!
Ah, you want to be famous, huh?
No, he has no clue. It’s essentially similar to the Dunning-Kruger Effect, except that in his case, his essential nature of Douchbaggedness effectively prevents him from realizing what a Douchbag he is.
“Christmas Asshole and the Simpering Pussy” - now, that’s a holiday special I’d watch!
I think we do, too - I’ve never really considered decorating like that, but my interest has now been piqued.
Somone tell me I’m not the only one who thinks that
- Anyone who gets offended at “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” is a douchebag,
and,
- Anyone who gets offended at “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” is a douchebag.
I mean, what kind of prick do you have to be to get upset over someone wishing you well? Jesus.
I’ve been surfing for mangers and Santas since the original post about it. Although Home Depot had an LED light-up peacock that would look awesome next to a manger. A polar bear, peacock, and penguin nativity would be pretty badass.
(You’re not the only one, furt.)
I just want to congratulate the OP on distinguishing himself, in such a brief time, as the absolute biggest dipshit on the boards. Quite impressive, considering the competition.