It's not the heat . . . [a long, weak. flabby rant.]

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Damn, but I’m in a sour mood.

It’s hot and sticky. But that alone I can handle.

I have a headache from going between hot and sticky to air-conditioned to 15 K. Could we possibly pick a climate-control setting other than frigid? Would 78[sup]o[/sup]F really be that uncomfortable?

I feel dehydrated, and all I can ever find to quench my thrist are sugary sodas, juices and iced teas (why does everything have to be exactly the same level of cavity-inducing sweetness?) or overpriced water (one dollar and fifty cents for a bottle of water, completely unprocessed, straight from the aquifer to you? One dollar and fifty American? Why the hell is this more expensive than soda, which has actually had things DONE to it?).
I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in three days. For one reason or another, I’ve had to go to bed after my bedtime for the last few nights. While in bed, it takes several hours before I finally manage to arrange the covers so that they block the fan from blowing directly on to my skin but don’t over me overmuch, and drift off to sleep . . . then toss and turn and sweat in my sleep I wake up under the covers and too hot or with a limb exposed to the fan, so it feels like a block of ice, or sometimes both. I strongly consider turning off the fan, as the air outside is only about five degrees Fahrenheit cooler than inside. While I’m not trying to figure out how to outwit the laws of thermodynamics, I’m worrying about all things that are wrong with my life that I cannot possibly change, especially at 3 in the morning. Eventually I begin drifting in and out of nightmares.

Top this off by being woken by the cat howling at 5:30.

Did I mention the cat? Did I mention that the cat is totally psychotic? She won’t let us touch her, and if you try to pick her up, she yowls like her spleen is about to rupture. I hope to god it’s because she’s cranky with the heat, and not because she’s actually sick.

Did I mention that she’s eating about half as much as usual?

The hubby accidentally stepped on her paw last night, and since then she’s been hissing like he’s the Devil Himself whenever he gets to close to her. He’s totally in love with the stupid cat, and this is breaking his heart. It pains me physically to watch him try to calm her down, as she backs away from him, hissing and spitting like she’s about to cough up a lung, swiping with her claws, tail three inches across, shedding like mad–but paw apparently fully functional, luckily.

I have about two nerves left, and people have taken turns jumping up and down on them all day. I’m going through contiual cycles of snappy and rude, then apologetic, then ready to cry at the drop of a hat.

I want to go home. But I can’t, because the hubby has my car because his is in the shop. And even if I could, all I could do is go home to my unairconditioned house and ignore the psychotic cat, and probably lie in my bed, still not sleeping.

And it’s supposed to be hot and sticky for at least three more days.

Suggestions for preserving my sanity, anyone?

2

Yes, its a magical tonic.

Fabled in lore, its origins lost in the sands of time. We are assured in the oral legends that its creator was a great man. A saint amongst men. A savior of the damned, and the damnation of saviors!

He my gentle friend, created the salvation for you.

Margaritas! Frozen Margaritas.

But seriously.

If you’re that thirsty and nothing is helping, buy some poweaid or other sports drink and dilute it down 1:4. It’ll taste terrible that way, but it’ll nicely rehydrate you.

Really focus on getting sleep, that seems like it’ll help. IMHO ditch the covers and sleep with just a sheet.

As for lack of AC. Go to the store, buy a few lbs of dry ice and stick it on a tray infront of a fan. It’s cold, won’t leave a mess and the spike in CO2 won’t kill anyone (just make sure you DO have ventilation).

As for the cat, buy some cat treats while you are at the store getting dry ice. Let your husband feed them to the cat, it’ll calm down. And the cat not eating is probably from the heat. Is it drinking like 3x more water?

3

Podkayne I feel your heat. When you get home turn on the sprinkler and sit in a lawn chair positioned so that the spray hits your lower legs. Works wonders. Also, drink lots of ice tea. Try to get the cat wet too.

Congratulations on your 2000th post!

4

Ah yes, trying to get that perfect not-too-hot and not-too-cold sleeping temp. My husband and I are thermally incompatible, so we have this problem a lot. One solution we’ve found is to turn the fan on as high as possible, so it still circulates air, but to have the air stream blowing just below the level of our feet on the bed. It’s just a little too hot for him, and not quite warm enough for me, but it gets the range where we can both manage to sleep with a little cover manipulation.

5

Thanks for the advice and the sympathy (which is what I was really after, natch :wink: )

Yesterday evening, we opened up the house with the fans on high and left to go see a movie. By the time we got home, it had cooled down nicely, the cat had forgotten her jihad against the Great Satan (gotta love critters with brains the size of walnuts) and the night was relatively peaceful. The cat’s still not eating much, but she is drinking plenty of water, so hopefully this too will pass. I have this hot/cold pad made of mysterious space-age gel that I use for pulled muscles and such, and I put that in the fridge, so if it’s too hot tonight (we closed everything up, drew all the drapes and knocked on wood) I’ll put that out for her to chill on.

I now drag a water bottle around with me like a security blanket, which has been helping with the hydration issues.

And tonight, I declare that we will have margaritas! (Or some other similar pleasant slushy beverage concoction.)
Wow, 2000 posts, come and gone. I was eagerly looking forward to it, and then it sneaked by when I wasn’t looking. Isn’t that always the way?

6

I live in a suburb of Phoenix, so here it is the heat! 112 today and expected to be around that all week. Of course, pretty much all homes have some form of cooling around here. It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity!

There’s a trick I remember from my childhood. Our air conditioning died and while it was bad enough during the day, as you’ve said at night when you’re trying to sleep it’s just miserable. This was during the time of year when it still cooled down at night (which sounds like your situation), but of course the house took forever to cool off. My dad took the largest box fan he could find, and put it in a window blowing out, sealing around the edges of it as well as he could with cardboard. He then opened a window on the far side of the house. It did an amazing job pulling cool air into the house. It was almost chilly by morning. Has anyone else ever done something like that? Did it work? Or did I just relate a dream I had 20 years ago in heat induced delerium?

Oh, and Podkayne, I’d have a margarita in your honor, but since I’m not that big a fan of tequila, can I have a pina colada (My frozen tropical drink of choice) instead?

7

No Linus that dream involved nubile hotties, a washboard, a blender, a length of rope a pound of cheese and a tub of Mazola. Remember?

The backward fan thing actually works, with the added advantage of not blowing air on you and all the loose objects in the room. I did the same thing and opened the basement windows. Pulled all the cool air from there.

8

No, not the Mazola! I had managed to forget the mazola!

Curse you NutMagnet!

9

A. Buy a thermos and bring cool drinks to work.
B. Bottled water costs the same as pop because people are silly enough to buy it.
C. Take the cat to a vet and have her checked out.
D. If the budget can handle it, buy an air conditioner.