Me too. Though “fuck cancer” seems to be a good start.
Insurance bullshit. My son needs PT, ST and OT, but insurance will only cover a combined 30 sessions without a diagnosis. ADOS is next week, after which it will probably be a month before we have a diagnostic report from the developmental psychologist, after which the paperwork has to be filed with insurance so they can approve more than 30 sessions, so we are playing a game of chicken with our insurance company by starting his therapy now, hoping that we can get a diagnosis and all paperwork filed by the time the 30 sessions run out. If we’re wrong it will be a cool $4,000 a month.
And of course it’s only temporary authorization and we have to do this all over again in the Fall/Winter.
The thing that pisses me off the most about this is not even really being pissed on my own behalf. What do kids who have intensive therapy needs but DON’T have autism do? They’re just fucked because they have to stop after 30 sessions? What do people do who have lesser financial means? Not to put too fine a point on it, but how the hell are people with lesser intelligence supposed to navigate this system? It’s taxing on our brains and my husband has a Ph.D. It’s like insurance companies are just running around the nation laughing and screaming, “Fuck you! And You! And you! You in particular!”
I think the US healthcare system is terrible, but I have heard nightmarish waits for autism and ADHD assessments in countries with socialized medicine, so I’m beginning to think my husband is right when he suggested, “No healthcare system is good, actually?”
It’s just shameful. Fucking shameful. It kills me to think about kids not getting needed services because of insurance bullshit. I knew things were bad in this country but I would have at least thought they would think of the children.
We decided to just do speech and OT for now, PT will have to wait. It sucks but we just can’t afford it until we have full coverage.
My mother did this when she had cancer. It was a great decision, in part because she could sleep in the recliner at various points when sleeping in bed wasn’t going to work.
Sometimes they don’t get it.
Yep. Sometimes that’s the case.
You know, sometimes after someone is shot they need a colostomy and poop in a bag while internal injuries heal. They’ll get that regardless because it’s a necessity to save their life. Reversing that, however, is not a necessity because pooping into a bag is not life-threatening. So there are people in the US walking around pooping into a bag instead of pooping like the rest of us not because a disease required that, or because their intestines/rectum couldn’t do the job, but because they don’t have the insurance or the money to have the operation to put their internal plumbing back to normal.
That’s just one of the possible horrible scenarios people have to deal with.
They don’t get what they need. Unless they are actively dying while being brought into an ER.
They can’t. And they get screwed.
Kinda.
I used to work for the Evil Insurance Empire, once upon a time. I still have trouble navigating the system. I mean, sure, I was able to negotiate a thirty percent reduction in one of my current medical bills this afternoon, I have some skills, but I still find it maddening, stressful, aggravating, and something that generates sadness and despair in me.
The system is not intended to be helpful, kind, or easy to navigate.
As far as the private insurance companies go their systems are designed to make money for them. If you get the medical care you need as a side effect well, that’s OK as long as it doesn’t eat into profits too much. For “providers” - talk to them early and often, don’t make them chase you. Do research and don’t be afraid to negotiate or make deals. Even then, it’s going to be hard and expensive. I’m sorry I don’t have anything better to offer you. I think from what you say you’re doing everything right, but that’s cold comfort given the stress this sort of situation imposes on you.
Oh, yeah, this was 100% me whining about a situation that I could change very easily! BUT. My family is made up of considerate, empathetic people who will bend over backwards to make others happy most of the time. This is why I’m trying hard not to put any pressure on my older daughter; if I point-blank asked to come, she’d say yes even if it stressed her out. If I did go alone, she and her husband would be worried about whether I was languishing all by myself while they were working.
Younger daughter is indeed a full-grown, high- functioning person. She knew how much I want to go visit her older sister but didn’t want to be an overbearing mother, insisting on turning up at an inconvenient time, so she arranged this fun, spur-of-the-moment trip. Mr. Legend wasn’t going to come along on this earlier trip because he finally has physical therapy appointments that took months to arrange and schedule, so we were thinking of going mid-summer. By then, they’ll have moved into the house and will be ready to show it off. So I’m going to be a grownup who observes appropriate boundaries and not the sitcom-style bossy MIL who shows up and tells everyone what to do. I’m just grateful to you for listening! And if you do manage to take a sabbatical, have fun! I hear outdoors is nice.
So, if school will do these therapies, my insurance will cover… NONE of it. So our daughter gets all of her therapies through school. Which is nice because it’s during the school day so I don’t have to take off work to take her places. But its also not nice because what if school can’t provide the hours needed? Or maybe I want my child to do school at school? But I suppose that’s neither here nor there for you as your youngin is a bit young for school yet.
My rant is that I am so stressed out and worried about a work project that I am wide awake at 1:30 in the morning. I have a problem I cannot solve until Monday. I know my shutdown starts in a week and I might have just fucked it for all of us for not dealing with this problem sooner. So I’m stressed. And awake.
Thats even more impressive than backwards yoga pants!
Seriously though, I’m really sorry you’re going through so much.
I’m having a less serious health issue at the moment and many of my friends are saying “let me know if you need anything”. I have started doing just that.
One friend is an excellent cook, she enjoys experimenting in the kitchen so i have aksed her for a few servings of bolognaise from her freezer. My ex is helping to walk my dog and tidy my house a bit when i dont have the energy.
Its hard to be vulnerable, but asking my people for help with small specific things is actually pretty easy to do and it makes my friends feel helpful. They want to lighten my load without encroaching on my independence. By asking a few friends for small specific things, they feel helpful and i dont feel guilty.
Im a stranger in Australia, so I’m not sure if I am able to do anything for you, but if I can, I will.
Be kind to yourself, Morgyn and make sure you allow other’s to show you kindness too xo
Thanks, i have joined the local MS siciety and they have amazing resources. I’m really sorry to hear about your health troubles too, life is a bitch sometimes.
The other night, I just wanted to scream into the void and have a moan about my pain and fear without interacting with others with MS. I didnt have the energy to connect with people. I hope that was ok.
I was able to speak to a neurologist the next day, it seems like i experienced a severe migraine and not necessarily a flare up. I have an appointment next week and a migraine pain specialist is going to look at my file too.
Thank you for responding to me though, your advice is very much appreciated and I have taken it. I have joined a few groups on Facebook now too and while i haven’t been involved with any conversations yet, its nice to see im not the only one dealing with some really strange symptoms.
Thank you, i have joined a few Facebook groups and its good.
My 2 greys are currently laying beside my bed, supervising me between naps
Ah, that’s great advice!
Supposed to see John Wick 4 in the theater with Spouse Weasel today. A rare date night in all the chaos. I had a mild cold that I was almost over by Thursday. Come Friday I start coughing. Ok, I have asthma, I’m used to flare ups with respiratory illnesses.
Nope. Woke up with acute chest pain coughing up all kinds of stuff. I have such intense sinus pressure that my left eyeball feels like it’s about to pop out of my socket. It’s not good. I barely made it out of bed this morning. It hurts to cough. It hurts to move.
I just wanted to have fun.
I am very lucky in my friends. I didn’t even have to ask. My best friend/heart sister is coordinating care and will be providing a lot of it. Mostly that’s making sure I’m never alone. Others are volunteering to spend a day or two at a time; one was even here for 2 weeks while I was in the hospital (WFH+no scheduled business trips). Neighbours have volunteered to do various physical things like bringing in heavy objects and stuff or feeding my cat when I have to be gone.
Until this happened I had no idea how many people loved me. It’s been an eye-opening, and humbling, experience.
So glad your village is rallying around you and equally glad you are letting them.
Exactly. This is what humans do better than all the other critters. At least when we remember the “humanity” part of being human.
We all wish you well.
You must be a really extraordinary person to warrant all that support. Drink it in. You’ve earned it.
Honestly, I’ve never considered myself to be all that special. That so many people do think so makes me a bit teary if I think about it.
What kind of punishment is appropriate for people who put the Brita pitcher back in the fridge with no water in it? 
My little dog is widely known as “Marvin the Menace” for good reason.
I could tell stories on stories on stories. But anyway, I have the house separated by baby gates, partly to contain the chaos he generates on a minute-to-minute basis in general and partly to keep him out of the cats’ business (and their litterboxes and food bowls) specifically.
Both he and I have known he’s capable of jumping the baby gate since a week or two after I first got him, when I tried leaving him baby-gated in a small room when I left the house and left the door open because I thought he might not be as lonely if he could see his dog sister and the cats. But he respects it when I’m home and gets crated in a crate with a sort of double-action locking mechanism when I’m not.
But, although I called him a “little dog” at the beginning of this post, he is actually one of hell’s lesser demons, sent to Earth in chihuahua form after he got expelled from of Fiend Academy for setting fires… and he’s escaped that crate twice now. One of those times was yesterday and, when I got home from work, I found him on the other side of the baby gate and havoc wreaked all around.
The problem now is, whatever respect for the baby gate rules or whatever it was that kept him from just hopping back and forth over the gate willy-nilly when I’m at home… well, that’s a thing of the past.
Along with a miniature evil genius with rocket feet for a dog, I have a nervous little brain damaged indigo child of a cat, so setting things up so that she’s able to get to her food and litterbox and have a little freedom and he’s NOT able to get to her food or litterbox (either to snack on cat poo or to pester the cats while they’re busy in there) is more complicated than it seems.
I feel like I’m in that episode of every detective show ever where they encounter some super-smart puzzle-loving criminal who is always one step ahead of them and taunts them the whole time. Only I’m a human being of at least average intelligence and I’m being foiled at every turn by a tiny, hairy villain who looks adorable in his little bowtie.
My mini-rant: Wife & I went for swanky seafood dinner on Fri night. Got pretty, spent a chunk of change, had a lovely and delicious elaborate meal in lovely surroundings. Nice live music, etc., etc. A most enjoyable evening.
Until midnight when she started barfing & didn’t quit for over 24 hours. Yup; some bad seafood somewhere in her meal. Not mine. She’s recovering / recovered now, but knowing her stomach history it’ll be a few more days of oatmeal, etc., before she builds up the bravery for a normal diet again.
And now we’re never going back there. A pity; it was a nice place. But I know her too well to even think about asking.
Make 'em drink tap water.