So I got to experience the lovely exchange with a representative from the Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee this morning:
DLCC Doucebag: Hello, I am from the DLCC. We want to elect Democrats and not Republicans (who eat puppies). Our highest level of donations is $150, can we count on your donation?
Me: Sorry, I don’t have any money to spare.
DLCC Douchebag: I understand that sir. And if we can’t keep the Republicans out of the State Senate, you’re going to have even less money. So can I count on your $150 donation?
Me: No really, I have no extra money.
DLCC Douchebag: I really do understand that sir. I do. And you don’t even need to donate the full $150. We have many levels of support including the next highest, which is $75. Remember, the Republicans are the ones taking money out of your wallet and we need to defeat them. So can I count on your support?
Me (slowly, as if I’m speaking to a child): I. Have. No. Money.
And then the fucker hangs up on me! This is why I refused to register with a party for the first 10 years I could vote. I didn’t want ass holes like this loser calling me at home harassing me for money.
But no, I had to really like Barack Obama and I had to want to vote for him in the Primary. So now I’ve got every Democrat in the area trying to crawl into my pants looking for money.
I mean Christ, can it be November 5 already so we can be done with all of this crap?
That would have been too long winded for me. My response (if I’m feeling polite) would be “No Thankyou.”<click>, followed by dialling *60#01# (at least up here, if you have Call Screening *60#01# blocks the last number that called you).
If I’m not feeling polite, omit the “No Thankyou” from the above interaction
See, I wanted to be polite, because this poor schmuck is out there trying to raise money for my side. And I feel bad for telemarketers sometimes.
But then he pushed it to far and I had to treat him like a 2 year old. Maybe this is why so many people are telling gonzomax they won’t vote for a black guy. Probably trying to piss him off before they hang up on him.
I’m about as pro-“be polite to the guy who’s just doing his job” as one can be, and I hang up on telemarketers the instant I determine their intentions. I consider it a service to them.
See, most of these guys aren’t allowed to take no for an answer. If you decline, all they can do is jump down to the next step of their script (hence the multiple donation “levels”, when you know full well they’d accept three bucks if you offered it). By listening to their entire spiel and politely declining at each step, all you’re really doing is wasting your time AND theirs.
Using my method, you can hang up on 'em from the word go, get back to your business, let the schmuck on the phone move on to someone else who might actually want what he’s peddling (stranger things have happened), and then pat yourself on the back for the good deed you’ve done.
If you’re going to do that, stay on the line for at least 30 seconds. They get “graded” in many call centers on how long they can keep a customer on the phone for.
I listen politely and say “no thank you” whenever I am asked a question. Even saying “I don’t have any money” gives them an opening. Don’t make excuses because they will try to counter every one. Just keep saying “no thank you” and they will be thrown totally off their game.
I don’t even bother answering these days. If I’m near a phone with caller ID, I simply hang up instantly–most of the calls we get of this type come from the same place. Unfortunately, the phone directly behind me doesn’t, and it also tends to scare me when it rings. Those people are lucky I manage to stay polite to them.
I have it worse: I’m registered Democrat, but somehow (probably due to a former co-worker who’s a party volunteer in the area who knows I’m very conservative on some issues) I get these calls from the Republicans.
It’s like, “No, I’m not paying to keep the Democrats out of the White House, they have a WAY better fiscal track record in the last twenty years than you chumps. Of course, so does my cousin who’s in bankruptcy.”
I visited my parents in New York state this past weekend. Primaries for the state Senate and Legislature were coming up the following Tuesday. Their phone rang every half hour to hour, from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM, every day I was there. My parents are elderly, and they don’t like cordless phones, so it was off to another room to answer the phone every time it rang. Almost every call was a recording, a plea for votes from yet another candidate.