It's that time of year: clean off your car windows, asshole!

The BBQ Pit
1

Frost.

Frost all over all the windows on your car. You get in the car and you can’t see shit. Do you . . .?

a) start the car, fire up the front defroster, hit the button for the rear window defroster, grab your ice scraper and let the front and rear defrosters work while you do the side windows (and, as a benefit, the engine starts to warm up while you’re doing that), then clean off the front and rear windows, then get back in the drivers seat and drive at normal speed with the comfy knowledge that you can see in every direction and the heater is almost even working!

Or do you . . .?

b) start the car, and drive in a 40 mph zone at 10 mph because you’re trying to view the road out of a 1x3 inch rectangle at a random spot of the windshield that happens to be clear.

If b) then you must have been one of the assholes driving side-by-side on Dorothy Lane this morning.

2

I clean off the windows.

I keep a spray bottle of ice melt in the car; works nicely on frost, too.

3

Rain-X.

And if you have to park outside and you know the weather will be vile, pull your windshield wipers away from the windshield and leave them sticking up like antennae. Then they won’t ice up and stick to the glass. Makes scraping and clearing of windows much easier.

And, fucking mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, irresponsible pieces of putrefying shit who don’t clean their windows.

4

You forgot…

C) start the car, and drive in a 40 mph zone at 65 mph because you’re the president of the division and a former New York City cab driver who is unknowingly scaring your subordinate employees half to death while you attempt to view the road out of a 1x3 inch rectangle at a random spot of the windshield that happens to be clear.

For some reason I remember that ride 15 yeas ago like it was yesterday

5

I pour hot water on the windows. If I have rubbing alcohol on hand, I’ll add some to the water. I’ve been doing this for years and have never cracked a windshield.

There is no way I would drive with a restricted field of vision.

6

Ever notice how these threads are always inhabited by virtuous people who clean off their windows every time? (Including me, of course)

Just once I’d like one of the asshats show up and try to explain why their way is so much more sensible. To them.

7

I have always figured the more snow that was blowing off my car the more room the guy behind me will give me. Makes for safer stops in those poor weather locations.

I am kidding. This is why I insist on having a garage.

8

I know where I am going, and can see pretty good through the little spot that’s clear by the bottom of the windshield. In a few miles I will have complete visibility. The car warms up faster if I’m driving above 25 mph.

9

I never sweep the snow off or scrape the frost off (and when both are there it’s like winning a lottery) because it’s too scary seeing through the tiny part that happens to be clear all those other cars covered in snow and ice that are nearly hitting me all the time.

Especially when the little clear space is too low for me to see the traffic lights.

10

How cold can winter get in your locale?

11

I’m southwest of Seattle, and have no garage. Most winters have ice/heavy frost days and sometimes snow. Right now it’s 28 degrees and my windshield is covered in a thin layer of ice. Luckily I don’t have to go anywhere this morning.

12

I asked because at the moment it’s –13°F here, so pouring hot water on a cold windshield isn’t a universally cool idea.

13

When the subject is clearing the snow off the roofs of cars before driving those asshats will show up (“wah! It’s too much work! Wah!”)

Or when we insist that people clear their sidewalks (or get someone to clear them). Those asshats come around with their whining.

14

All I can say is I am so glad I live in a place where this is never a problem.

15

No, I wouldn’t recommend it. I usually don’t even tell people that I do it. :o

My winters are very mild compared to yours!

16

On the other hand, it gets so cold and snowy here that it kills all those scorpions before they crawl into your snow boots like in tropical climates.

17

Perhaps they imagine themselves driving a tank?

I will never be without remote start again. Get out of shower, start car, get dressed and get into warm car. Unless it’s more than an inch of snow I never have to use the brush/scraper. So far this year in Chicago it’s worked out well.

18

I moved to CA. :smiley:

19

You people need to check your tall privilege. As a Short-American I can’t reach most of the snow on top.

And you rich people need to check your rich privilege. As a Poor-American I can not afford a step-ladder to reach all the snow on top.

20

That might have been me. I noticed that my windows had frosted over so I started my car, and to my horror, I had let the fuel tank drip down close to empty. I dared not let the car idle long enough to defrost the windows, so I grabbed my window scraper from under the seat, pulled on the woolen mittens, and began scraping the ice. Now, this was no ordinary ice, this was ice from the Permian ice age, and was crusted on as thick as peanut butter on toast. Being a bit overweight, I decided to put my wight behind the scraping to break through the thick carapace carpeting the car. I felt movement, very slight, and leaned in harder when suddenly

SNAP!

The scraper broke and my mittoned hands, being propelled by the full force of my weight, slide down and shred on the shattered plastic. The cut was deep and sliced into my palm, causing blood to gush. I pack some snow on the wound to try to get the bleeding to stop, when I notice I can clearly see the bones in my hand. I think I better get to the hospital, but I don’t know if I have the gas if I let the windows defrost normally so I resignedly climb into the car and hope beyond hope that I make it to the hospital before I bleed out.

Well, none of that really happened, but I just might excuse someone if that was the kind of day the were having. MIGHT, that is.