It's the damn game or me

The BBQ Pit
81

Athena:

It’s obviously all your fault; after all, you are playing a 'chanter. :smiley:

I really don’t think that mnay of you realize why this “game” becomes so important. You don’t understand the sheer amount of time and effort that people put into thier characters. If your character dies at higher levels, you have literally lost hours worth of time. Depending on circumstances, you may lose dozens of hours worth of time that you put in. Anything that someone puts that much time into becomes valuable.

I used to play EQ a lot. I started playing the first day it was released to the public, and continued to play for a long, long time. I went through a couple of relationships during that time, and none of them ended because of EQ.

But…

I used EQ to put distance between myself and a woman I was dating about two years ago. She was older than me and was very needy, and I just got to the point where I wasn’t interested in seeing her anymore. So, when she’d come over, I’d play EQ. This did piss her off, but she didn’t break up with me. Eventually I got enough balls to go ahead and really break up with her.

Looking back at this, I am really ashamed of how cowardly I acted. Instead of making a clean break, I let the problems we had fester and cause more pain than if I had just had the guts to do the right thing. I will never, ever let this happen again. In this case, EQ wasn’t the problem, it was a symptom.

I actually quit playing EQ a couple months later because I hate the high-end game so much. That and my uberguild blew up. :stuck_out_tongue:

The “dump him” crowd doesn’t seem to realize that the threat of losing his relationship may have far more positive results on this guy than actually dumping him would. It might “wake” him up and get him to realize what he’s neglecting. Just dumping him might make him think “fuck it, I have nothing else to do, why not?” and just send him into a faster downward spiral.

82

Nope, that’s the straight dope. Of course, common sense and experience have shown us that there is a potential for profound psychological addiction to cocaine.

Many people consider physical dependancy to be the be-all and end-all of addiction, which is misguided. Some of the things that are most likely to become habituating are so because of the element of easy gratification that they offer.

Not that I have anything against easy gratification-- on the contrary, I’m all for it – so long as nobody gets hurt.

83

Word Sidle. Everything you’re guessing i’m thinking, you are right on about. b/f has actually been REALLY good the past few days, and after reading a few posts on the “everquest widows” site I’m realizing he’s not that bad compared to a lot of other people that play. All and all, I feel better about the situation. Thanks everyone.

84

I’m glad to hear that that things are looking up, lezlers. :slight_smile:

85

I’m in a long-distance relationship. I’m on a remote assignment in Korea for one year and my wife lives in Maryland. One of our means of contact is playing EQ.

She’s not much of a gamer and she went through a lot of frustration learning the basics of the game. AND she had to upgrade the computer. I think it was very cool of her to do all that for me. :smiley:

Yes, we also use phone calls and email to communicate. But the nice thing about EQ is that we’re doing something together - sharing an activity.

As far as addiction goes - I played a LOT when I first started a few months ago. I wouldn’t have played that much had I been living at home. I’ve been playing a lot less recently. It’s not that I made a conscious effort to cut back - there are just other things I want to do. So the quote “You either die, go insane or you quit” didn’t apply in my case.

86

:::Rilchiam tiptoes in and looks about cautiously:::

So I keep hearing the same thing over and over, about how it takes hours and hours to get to the payoff in EQ, and if something prevents that payoff from happening, all that time and effort is entirely wasted.

Is this really a productive way to spend one’s time? Dozens of hours on the buildup, with the risk of ending up with nothing to show for it?

:::Rilchiam sidles out again:::

87

your not in FI are ya? lol that would crack me up to no end.

88

bah didnt mean to post that so quick. I have a guildmate whos in korea, which of course makes me wonder what the odds are.

89

I don’t think the ‘hours and hours to get payoff’ is really an accurate statement. What it’s more like is that in certain situations, it takes hours and hours to get to the One Big Thing. That could be a monster appears that you’ve been looking for all day, or you’ve fought your way to a certain place and now you get to kill the big guy, or several other situations. The whole time playing is a lot of fun - it’s not like it sucks for 3 hours, then you get a payoff. In fact, I’ve had a lot of fun doing these kinds of raids where, for whatever reason, you don’t get to the final thing you’ve been waiting for.

However, the flip side of this is that there’s two Big Problems. #1 is that there are certain places that if you die, it could be very, very difficult to get your corpse back. Your corpse contains all the cool stuff you’ve accumulated through quests and such over the life of your character. You really, really don’t want your corpse to rot (which it does, in about a week). Usually it’s no problem to get your corpse. You just run back there and get it. However, there are some places where getting your corpse can be very tough, and require a LOT of help. If you got there with a group of people, chances are there’s people there who can help. If your whole party got killed, though, suddenly you’re not on this fun quest anymore. You’re a bunch of naked adventurers who somehow must get back to your corpses without the help of magic armor, weapons, or all that other stuff you count on. This can truly suck.

Problem #2: This is related to Problem #1. When you log off the game, next time you start you log in at the same place you logged out. If that spot is 3 levels down in a dungeon that took 10 people plus yourself to get to, and you log in and you’re all alone because it’s 3 days later and the ten people you were with are long gone, you’re screwed. You really can’t log out and quit the game unless you’re in a safe place. Some classes get magic that will whisk them out of dungeons to safe places, but others don’t. That’s why it’s pretty hard to demand that someone STOP RIGHT NOW at times.

This, I think, is the heart of the problem. Rilchiam touched on this with her statement about “is it really a productive way to spend your time?” A lot of people don’t see gaming as “productive” or “valid”. I’d like to explore this a little more. Lots of hobbies aren’t productive, but they don’t all get the knee-jerk reaction that games do. What is it about games that’s less productive than, say, a movie buff who spends every weekend watching cheesy sci-fi movies? Or the standard TV addict, who plops down in front of the tube to watch whatever idiotic sitcom happens to be on?

I also know a lot of women who consider shopping a hobby. They like to go to the mall every weekend for hours at a time. Is this more “productive” than gaming? Is the person who reads trashy romances or fantasy or sci-fi books at the rate of 3 a week really better off than the gamer?

I’m not trying to be annoying here - I just really would like to understand what it is about games that make non-gamers so rabid, or at the very least, consider it a less-than-valid activity. I mean, I agree that doing volunteer work, reading great literature, or participating in athletics or other sporting type things have more measurable benefits. But when it comes right down to it, we all have hobbies that we do simply because we like 'em, they’re entertaining, and they’re relaxing. Why is gaming so bad?

90

At first I thought you meant Finland. Even if you overlooked my location tag I couldn’t figure out why my being in Finland would be amusing to you. :slight_smile:

No, I’m not in your guild. I was in Madcap Elite on the Tunare server, but they recently disbanded. :frowning: I also have a low-level character on the Druzzil Ro server, where I occasionally hang out with other dopers and people from Fathom in a guild that Opalcat started.

91

Madcap Elite is gone? Wow, that’s kinda weird. I know they weren’t an uberguild or anything, but they were big enough that I knew of 'em and would see members quite frequently.

If you have a char above level 20, I can probably get you an invite to Disciples of Darkness if you’re in the mood for an evil guild. I highly recommend it - it’s not too big, but not tiny, either. Usually 3-15 people on at any given time. People are very willing to help you out if needed, and we do cool things like take over Qeynos. Er, make that, try to take over Qeynos. Turns out there’s 3 level 58 or so Wizzies in Qeynos that don’t like it when you try to take it over.

92

Thanks Athena, it’s very nice of you to offer. But the only character I’ve got that’s over 20 is a Halfling Rogue, and he’s not evil - just misunderstood. :stuck_out_tongue:

The short story on Madcap Elite is that the co-leaders got upset and quit the game. The trouble was, people would get up to high levels, get frustrated that there wasn’t enough high level stuff going on in the guild, then quit the guild for one that was more uber. It was a vicious cycle.

Some of the people that were more interested in the social, family-oriented aspect of the Madcaps are forming a new guild and I plan to join.

93

oh. my. GOD. Even my anti-EverQuest THREAD has been taken over by EverQuest…IT NEVER STOPS!!!

94

OMG. How did I miss this?

This is exactly how Mr. LolaBaby is, except for the fact that the game is Diablo2.

I timed him one Sunday and he played for 18 hours straight.

95

Oh, and before the Everquesters say I “wouldn’t understand,” I’ve played the game too, and I have quite a few characters, but I play…maybe once or twice a week?

18 hours on one Sunday?

He comes home from work about 5 pm and plays till 2 am everyday! This is not an exaggeration. It’s everyday.

Occassionally I force him by knife point to take me and his son (who he vaguely remembers conceiving one night) out to dinner.

96

Good question, Athena.
Honestly, I don’t really know why I feel that way. I guess I feel like people are closed off from each other and physically inactive enough as it is, and that sitting in front of a computer just makes that worse. However, I have no problem with people reading. One of my favorite things to do is read.
What is so different about it? Can’t say it’s the fantasy or isolation element; that’s also there with movies books etc.
I was not really allowed to watch TV as a child, and have grown up with the impression that watching any type of screen is bad. That might have something to do with it, although I’m not sure it makes sense…
Gut feeling more than anything, I guess.