It's the end of the world as we know it...

When civilization falls, I shall be a queen.

I have birthin’ hips, know how to knit, and I have that extra “I can bear your child even through the famine-times” layer of fat. The males will be beating the snot out of each other for a chance to copulate with me.

At the first whiff of trouble, I’d load up the truck, fill up the gas cans, and head back to Iowa. If there’s anywhere where civility might survive the fall of civilization, it’s Iowa.

If things get reeeally bad, I also have some elementarly knowledge of how to knap flint, and I used to make my own bows and arrows all the time when I was a wee one. I can also program in FORTRAN. But I don’t think things will ever get that desperate.

I can see how you would be able to incorporate this in to a really good survival plan. Especially if you demand some sort of tribute (in the form of food or goods) to aid in your survival.

Reinventing the mystery of menstruation as some kind of voodoo power may also help your cause. This might take a bit of time, but if you’re lucky your daughters daughters will be able to rule through misinformation and fear. :wink:


Sure! As you as don’t complain about the outhouse and having to help muck stalls, we’ll be all set! :smiley: How’s your aim with a .22? You know, we don’t want no squatters on the property!

Ah yes, a benevolent matriarchy. I like it, I like it. Can we set up harems for ourselves? You know, like breeding stock? If so, I’m in!

Bunny starts making her list of male Dopers to kidna… er, recruit.

Males! Come hither and hear my words!

The blood of life flows from my loins! I hold the power of birth and death within my womb! Do as I say and you shall have many strong children! Disobey and know my wrath!

Bring me offerings of chocolate and hot water bottles! Also, the tribal stores of Midol have run low. You will wage war on the neigboring tribes and return with their ibuprophen. And M&Ms, if they have any.

Your priestess commands you! Now, go!

Look, if you think this “priestess” stuff is gonna get you out of work, you’re loopy. Here’s your hoe. :wink:

B-b-b-b-but, I’m bloated!

You stupid men never understand!

:: bursts into tears an runs away ::

As everyone else is dead I Become my own one world government and laugh at all the people who thought that would come before the end apocalypse. Then I become Lord over all the Apes
wait a minute…
Statue of Liberty? That was Our Planet. YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! Aw damn you! Damn you all to hell

Uh, yo, males? Want sex without procreation? Consider a fling with an older women! I, Hazel, am taking applications…