OK, first of all best wishes and I am glad that you are both OK.
Second the anecdote.
I was working late one night. My wife called crying that she had been in an accident. I tried to get information from her but only recieved tear filled requests for me to get there. She wasn’t actually very far away but at the time I had been riding my bike to work. To make matters worse, no one was there to get a ride from. That was before we had cell phones (she had borrowed one from someone at the scene) so I could not call her back. Also, I knew she had our infant son in the car with her. the distance that usually took me 20 or 30 minutes to ride I did in around 10. The whole time running nightmare scenarios through my head. I ran crazy ideas of running my son to the hospital on my bike. I don’t even remember all of the insane thoughts that occured to me in those few minutes.
As it turned out everyone was OK. Someone had simply run into her car. It was the first time she had been in an accident and she had been quite shaken up.
You know, I’ve been thinking for the last 10 minutes trying to remember how we got home. I can’t. My memory is so filled with the relief and joy that my family is still with me that I can’t think of trivial matters like that.
Thirdly, the “debate”. isthatsowrong? is right. you should not have sped so excessivly. If you had gotten in an accident you would not have been able to get to her quickly enough. At the same time, don’t worry about it now. No blood, no foul as they say. People do all sorts of things, and as reasons or at least mitigating circumstances go, yours is pretty good.
Jesus, you know, someone could post an OP in MPSIMS about how they saved telve orphans from a burning building earlier that day and just wanted to tell people about it and someone would quibble about (i) the order in which the orphans were carried out of the building (perhaps the story mentions the circumstantial detail that the first ones out were white or male), (ii) the guy’s orphan carrying method (“It doesn’t sound like you supported the baby’s heads properly.”), or (iii) the distance the guy deposited the orphans from the building after removing them.
How fast Phlosphr was driving doesn’t have anything to do with anything. Why don’t you quibblers just keep this nonsense to yourself?
And the first joker who says “Hey, why did you make the hypothetical orphan-saver a male?” gets kicked in the shins.
Wow, Phlosphr, that sounds really stressful. Glad to hear that you and your wife are OK.
It seems common for people, when they know there is something wrong but don’t know the exact details and can’t find out, to start worrying about the worst. I’m happy for you that it wasn’t the worst. (Not that what your wife did go through was any picnic.)
I didn’t give enough detail for you to understand that it was a very real possibility that she could have died. She had serious physical problems, including an irregular heartbeat and extreme shortness of breath. She was bedridden and the doctors had no idea what was wrong. When you’re talking to someone who can barely get her words out and then she’s suddenly not there at all, you might think she’s dead. I certainly thought she had died.
I submit that I have been in an equally scary situation. Just because it wasn’t a car accident, it was no less frightening.
That is my opinion based on reading the statements made in this thread. Someone said he should have crushed other cars in his race to get to his wife. Others agreed that they would have done the exact same thing he did. I call that valuing emotion over reason. Racing to his wife’s side was unreasonable. If she was hurt, she needed medical attention more than she needed a hug. If she was not hurt, as turned out to be the case, she didn’t need her husband risking his life and others’ lives to get to her to give her a hug.
Maybe I read too much into “I was in the frame of mind that something terrible happened to the most cherished person in my life. Put yourself in my shoes. If you still feel indifferent, my condolences.”
I got the point. I found the point to be silly. I made fun of it, knowing full well that it would garner me no friends. I found it corny. The thread title alone was enough. What the hell does “the judgement is love” mean?
What’s really funny is that Phlosphr yelled at his wife about something stupid a couple of days later. I guess she needs to get in another near accident so he’ll love her again.
Do you really believe that? Are there really two things you shouldn’t say to another person? Two and only two? What are they? And what happens if you say them? Do they come true? Is it like saying “Beetlejuice” three times?
This is exactly why I felt compelled to be a jackass in this thread. You speak in platitudes. It’s annoying.
Oy. isthatsowrong, no one is accusing you of not loving your wife. Just of digging your heels in over an issue that, for most of us, is not an issue.
Congrats on being able to be in control of your emotions all the time. Not many people are able to do that. Overriding that automatic protective impulse is not easy…especially if you don’t particularly WANT to. I’ve been trained to override that response, and it was damn near impossible for me, when my daughter went wandering off at Pier 39 at the age of 3, to stay calm til we found her. A few stores down, incidentally, in front of a shop, sniffing flowers. Couldn’t decide whether to hug her or strangle her.
And, to nitpick, there’s a big difference between your situation and Phlospher’s. Chronic illnesses allow us to become somewhat prepared for the possibility of death. His wife had no chronic illness. She’s in good health. It was an emergency. A complete surprise. In no way, was her death something he was expecting or anticipating. So it’s hard to equate the two.
Phlosphr, I was so scared for you and your wife while reading the OP. Rationally, I knew it must have a happy ending, or it would have been titled differently, but still, I was frightened. I don’t have any real anecdotes to share with you; my husband has come close to losing me a couple of times, but I’ve never come close to losing him. If I did lose him, I don’t know how I would keep functioning. He, truly, is the love of my life. I’m so glad things are OK now.
Somewhat amusing to think that someone like this needs a reason for acting like a jackass.:rolleyes:
So, you purposely came into this thread to provoke unpleasant responses from both its OP and the responding posters? Not because you didn’t understand the poignancy Phlospher was trying to get across; not because you disagreed with him and thought that, after a life-threatening accident (or what could have been a life-threatening accident), he should relaize the extent of his love for his wife; not because he did something ironically silly by realizing the love he had for, say, your wife; but because you didn’t like the particular words he used to express himself.
But because you’re prefer to laugh at the medium and ignore the message.
In light of that, you might want to stray toward this page and read the one basic rule. Personally, I think you’re in violation of that rule.
While I don’t think I did any of the things specifically mentioned on that page, I am a self-admitted jerk so I should be banned. I have reported myself to the moderators.
Phlosphr, I’m so glad your wife’s okay. Something like that happened to me once, and it’s so scary to be hurtling towards an accident, trying so hard to get the car to stop.
I’d like to compliment you, isthatsowrong, on your very impressive ass hat. It’s very elaborate. Where did you get it? Do you think I could pick one up like it on eBay? (you can get anything on eBay.)
I don’t think anyone is questioning the logic of your posts, but you seem to be delibeately provoking an argument. That’s not really called for in this forum. Perhaps you could start a thread in Great Debates: **Prove: Phlosphr is a wreckless driver with a total disreagrd for anyone on the road to whom he is not married. ** Or the BBQ Pit: **Phlosphr, your driving sucks ass! ** But the tone and message of your previous posts are not appropriate to the OP. :dubious:
I’m so glad, **Phlosphr, ** that your beloved is all right.
I don’t give a flip why you’re annoyed. You’re behaving like a jackass in a forum dedicated to discussion, and yes, as a mattter of fact it is so wrong. No flaming, no trolling, no telling people to shove their heads up their asses in IMHO.
Develop some couth already, and apply some common sense while you’re at it. Consider this a formal warning, isthatsowrong?. Any further infraction in any forum and you will be banned.
Anecdotes:
In college, a good friend of mine married her high school sweetheart. They were both working in the same business. They were driving home one night in two separate cars, him leading, her following.
He had an accident and was killed in front of her. Less than a year after they married. I always thought this was one of the most horrible things I could imagine.
When I was younger and less secure, I used to worry that something would happen to a guy I was seeing. If he was running late to pick me up or to come over, sometimes I’d call the police to ask if he’d been involved in an accident anywhere. I did it largely just to reassure myself that he was ok. (I didn’t do this a LOT, mind you. Just a few times.)
One night he was late, so I made my call. But this time he really had been in an accident. He was hit by another car while getting ready to turn in to my apartment complex. I’d heard the sirens, but I hadn’t thought that they had anything to do with ME.
He was ok. He had taken a hard knock on the head and it had disrupted his short-term memory for a while. He recovered completely. But I was the one who had to call his mom and let her know, and pick her up at the airport.
So hug your S.O’s/spouses and cherish them. Life is uncertain.