Well, it’s time for Sunspace to make another attempt at the dating game. Yes, I am resuming at the gym, eating better, and such, but that’s not what this post is about.
This time, I have a bit more money and can consider some wardrobe upgrades. I want to get some new shirts and trousers and maybe even a suit.
I have renewed my clothing in the past six months or so; new shoes, pants, and so on. But this was as much to replace items that had worn out as any other improvement. (And believe me, the replacement was needed! One thing that sucked about being broke was wearing threadbare clothing.) The new clothes I bought were the upper end of what I have always worn: T-shirts, sweaters, Docker trousers, jeans. Your basic North-American techie-casual clothing.
Now I’m looking to the next step. I don’t know much about the niceties of the man’s wardrobe. I don’t know how tom tie a tie. I haven’t the foggiest idea what to look for in a suit, or how much I should expect to pay for one.
I’m not looking for the pinstripe-suit look, but more a richer amplification of what I already like: dark pants, shirts in strong colours (no pastels or white for me!), sweaters, a sport jacket. But I want things that fit better and don’t wrinkle awkwardly, and can be maintained easily.
Sunspace, if there was any way I could assist from over here, I’d loooove to. Even if you wouldn’t need it, few things are more fun then getting to be a personal shopper (and I’m not the only girl who feels like that) !
You could try reading this book on colors. It is the classic book on the subject, and a great introduction to what color fabrics suits different types of hair & skin coloring, both for women and men. The book offers advice on choosing between the different shades of the classic men’s colors (black, grey, navy, beige, white) as well as what livelier colors to choose and how to wear them.
Hi! Well, if there were a way I could get over to Europe soon, I’d drop by. But all my spare resources are gojng into saving for a trip to Japan in 2007. (And if the dating site does not work out, that trip is my Plan #2 for meeting people.)
Hmm. The book description speaks of makeup, but I assume that I can skip that.
These books seem very interesting. Looks like I’ll be hitting the library and bookshop.
But… but… I need the makeover to attract the date!
Hmm. Maybe I should start another thread to work on my dating-site profile.
If you don’t have any male relatives close by, I would go buy a nice tie from a men’s shop, find an amiable looking clerk and ask them to teach you to tie a tie. I learned from my father-in-law on my wedding day so I could teach A. when he wasn’t so nervous.
Most nice men’s shops will help you pick out outfits if you ask. All you need to do is tell them the colors you like and they’ll find you a bunch of stuff that you can mix and match. Seriously, don’t be afraid to ask. That’s what salespeople are paid for.
Seconded. They’ll set you up with everything, just tell them the gist of what you want and they’ll start assembling prospective outfits of suits, shirts and ties. Then you just pick which ones you like and give them a credit card. If a store doesn’t do this, it’s either a clearance joint or not seriously in the menswear business.
Be very clear with the people at the store about what you want, too. After all, if you wear clothes you’re not comfortable in is a surefire way to make sure you’ll look bad in them.
I find that store attendants (and helpful shoppers) change their tune completely when I say “I’m an engineer”; miniskirts drop off the list like they never existed. Here in Spain, a way to tell whether you’re in a “big city” is whether other shoppers will offer unasked-for advice… I definitely live in a small town!
About a decade ago I needed a suit, so I went to Manhattan with my father. I wanted to try getting it from Barney’s (a fancy men’s clothing store) but the salesman was sniffy and astonishingly unhelpful. Plus he had a tiny selection in my size. So we went to Moe Ginsburg (a much less fancy discount men’s clothing store that’s no longer in business and which is where George Costanza of the television show Seinfeld bought his suit). The salesman there took one look at me, called out my size without needing to measure and showed me a forty-foot rack of suits in my size. We picked one out easily enough and it cost less than half what I would have spent at Barney’s.
The lesson is that a men’s clothing saleman can be very helpful. And I agree that you should make clear what you’re comfortable wearing. I’ve made the mistake of buying clothes that I wasn’t comfortable wearing (either for fit or fashion) and wound up with a closetful of clothes I never wore.
You work well in dark colours, especially greens and burgundys. I’d advise picking out a really good set of pants from a tailored shop–maybe Harry Rosen?–in worsted wools with a light weave, and a couple of crisp shirts, wine-red, navy blue, dark bold hues.
Also, a pair of good leather shoes, and maybe a nice watch.
The most important thing: Buy a Good Silk Tie! Poly doesn’t tie well and looks cheap!
Do up shirt, except for the collar button.
Hang the tie around your neck, with the Skinny End on the left and the Thick Dnd on the right. The patterned side should be facing out, and the seam should be against your neck and chest. The Thick End (right side) should be several inches longer than the Skinny End (left side.) (It takes a few tries to get a feel for how much longer - depends on your neck size, how long your trunk is, etc.)
Thead the tie under the collar, seam side inwards, against the shirt collar, and the patterned side on the outer.
Do up the collar button.
Put left hand on Skinny End, right hand on Thick End of the tie.
Wrap Thick End over the front of the Skinny End, behind the Skinny End, up in the Loop you’ve just made, towards your chin, and over itself in the front.
Wrap Thick End behind the Loop, left to right; up and around the right side of the Loop towards chin, and down around into the Loop. Should now be dangling down, with pattern against your chest and seam facing out. You now have the beginnings of the knot - hencefort referre to as the Proto-Knot.
Wrap Thick End, right to left, in front of the Proto-Knot, pattern facing out; behind and up in the Loop, towards your chin, and over the Proto-Knot.
You now have the tie wrapped around the Proto-Knot. With right hand, pull that out a bit, and with left hand, thread the Thick End down between the wrap and the proto-knot. Thick End should now be in front, pattern side facing out, in front of Skinny End, also facing out, with seams towards the chest.
Pull Thick End down with left hand to tighten the wrap of the completed Knot; pull Skinny End down with right hand to tichten the completed Knot against your neck.
On the other hand, I fully endorse Kythereria’s advice about where to shop. Not to denigerate Moore’s, but frankly you’d be better off buying a pair or two of slacks at Harry Rosen’s than more clothes from the former. You will definitely find that they fit better and last longer. Some 100% cotton shirts (I’ve always liked Just White Shirts), and a tie or two, and you’ll be set.
Which is precisely why clothes shopping could easily morph into a perfect flirting opportunity, if you’re extroverted enough. Just pick out a few things, go up to a single woman who catches your eye, and ask her opinion. (Of course, this will work better if you’re not in a store that only sells men’s clothing.)
SunSpace, even though I wouldn’t have to cross the Atlantic to get there, Toronto is a tad too far for me to just bop up and help you out, much as I would *love * to do so! If you can post a picture of yourself somewhere on the next (or send me a pic - my email is in my profile), I can give you color suggestions.
Your taste in clothing sounds classic and hard to go wrong. It used to be called Ivy League back in my youth, then Preppie, now just “business casual.” If you’re carrying a bit too much around the middle, I’d steer away from pleated pants - they can add a few pounds.
Once you’ve found an overall style and size you want, I’d recommend Land’s End as the source. Their merchandise tends towards the classy-casual, the quality is very good, and the prices are comparatively reasonable. Not suits, of course; for them you want to see it on before you buy. But for everyday khakis and trousers, shirts and sweaters, it’s hard to go wrong with them.
