You know…you guys are right! I never really thought about it before, but I guess my system is hopelessly utopian! I mean, sure, Chocolatebunnyland seems perfect…but any society would be perfect if its citizens were all alive and rich and happily bechocolated, secure in the knowledge of the Easter Bunny and his bi-weekly visits! And I didn’t even take into account all the good things our society is doing now, things that the Easter Bunny wouldn’t be able to address by himself. Wow.
From now on, I’m gonna stop living in the clouds and start looking for practical solutions to real-world problems. I’ll work within the system, applying my anti-death, anti-poverty, pro-bunny sentiments in order to effect change incrementally, while striving to maintain the benefits that are effectively conferred by our present government. No more of this utopian dreaming for me! Thanks, guys!
(Oh, and don’t worry, Kimstu…you’d always be welcome in my Chocolatebunnyland utopia. grin)
The ultimate advantage of Choclatebunnyland is, of course, that it is the delivery of choclate is individualized for each and every willing, or non-willing and thus non-cavityfilled, participant. As everyone knows, our current system of bonded, collectivized choclate distribution, where chocolate is distributed to stores which you must all visit, and not brought to you personally, is just one step away from the twin specter of fascist and communist choclate distribution systems: all the chocolate is brought together into these stores at the barrel of a gun.
Everyone should get their own personal choclate deliveries because once you become a member of these groups visiting stores, who knows what other limits they shall place on your liberty? You will inevitably become a slave to choclate. In fact, you are already a slave to chocolate, you just don’t realize it.
We’ve been overlooking UncleBeer’s important question, though. I personally think the Easter Bunny is capable of delivering the appropriate kind of chocolate, from the desired manufacturer, to the right pillow. So if he wants Godiva, and I want Hershey’s Special Dark, we both get what we want. This will create a world of peaceful, honest chocoholics, and end political strife forever. Especially if the Tooth Fairy can stop by and remove Kimstu’s chocolate allergy.
This all sounds fine and dandy, almost, aside from the hundreds of problems posted above, but Wouldnt this be a Dictatorship in which our Happy Little Easter Bunny was in charge? What if he went insane and decided that he wanted to deliver POISON chocalate? Noone would have the power to stop him! What if he decided to starve the entire nation of chocalate? What if he decided he only liked White, Blond Haired, Blue Eyed People?
Then we’d have to face the wrath of THE BUNNY LEGIONS OF DOOM. Then where would we be?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by PatrickM *
**1. Will it be a capital offense, or a civic duty, to bite the ears off of chocolate easter bunnies? **/quote]
Captial offense for capital offenders, civic duty for all others.
American in the South west. English in the North East. Australian in the assorted colonies and protectorates.
Dang. This qualifies as the happiest, least confrontational Great Debate I’ve ever seen. Perhaps when we’re all munching chocolate in our utopia we’ll finally be able to stop those annoying singing porcupines from dive-bombing the kettles. We’ll stop them by using all our sugar rushes in a collective blast of glucose-fulled power to attack the Spencerian Colonies, where the singing porcupines have their orgies of neo-Luddite/neo-neo/Neopolitan dance and song, singing songs that nobody with a true class-consciousness could enjoy or comprehend. And we shall smite those prickly rodents, yea, unto the trillionth generation, and shall cast them into the depths where gnosis begets zealotism and zealotism begets animism and animism begets gnosis, and so on, until Marky Mark rises up from the Eternal Infernal Bar and Roast and screeches at our LORD (G-wd to some of you) to get these damned pests out of his abode. And yea, the chocolate shall fill his mouth, and all of his orifices, until he does collapse from pain and renal failure, and so we shall all go to sleep at seven, so we may wake up early to find our chocolate. What the hell, sounds good to me!
Surely, we could make the people who are allergic to choclate, work in the factories that that make the Easter eggs. that way we could be sure that they wouldn’t eat any of the eggs.
And if they had to wear gloves etc, we would have perfect hygenic conditions.
What checks and balances would we have in place to ensure our safety from the bunnies? That is to say, what if, like in every episode of Star Trek(the original, not those posuers from the 90’s)the bunnies turned against their dark masters(IE: us)? Suddenly your utopian paradise has become a John Cameron movie(Titanic or Terminator II, its up to you).
I suggest we collar the bunnies with mind control devices. But, in accordance with the Evil Overlord rules, we must treat the bunnies with kindness in case our control over them wanes. If the bunnies ever wrested control from us, what assurance do we have they don’t use us to deliver carrots biweekly to all of the bunnies? And what about Boxer, and Napoleon, and the sheep?
OK, I’m fine with the Easter Bunny/chocolate issue. What I have a concern with is the idea that no one dies young. If everyone is immortal until a certain age, then certain questions must be answered:
What is the Age of Mortality? This is an obvious question. At exactly what age is it no longer safe to drink bleach or play in traffic?
What effect will this have on the economy? We’re talking about a huge influx of consumers who would be interested in buying all sorts of stuff, including chainsaws, hemlock, and Xtreme Sports paraphenalia. Would the free market be able to cope? What effect would this have on the “no one is poor” precept?
The average IQ loss. Without the threat of mortality, our youth would become even stupider and reckless than they are now (Now THAT’S scary!). They would run about, with no morals or forethought, causing the death rate of the Older Folk to skyrocket (Traffic accidents, general looting, causing fires). Plus, they’re own generation would see a higher mortality once they passed the Mortality Age.
In the worst scenario, our utopia would see a youth led Armageddon, as they realize just how powerful an immortal, vital, hyper army would be. We’d be toast.
…you must remember, over time this would become the normal social order. Young people would have no need to loot in this society, allready being provided all they needed and more, allong the lines of The Stand by Stephen King. Also, those that did loot and destroy and Crash cars would be punished by getting less of the allmighty good-- chocalate. So noone would, for fear of brining the Wrath of Bunnies down on them
