I like to think I’d be the same; but at least a part of me would be niggled by the lack of token gift. It’s so much the ‘done thing’, I’d wonder why the guest didn’t think I deserved wine.
Bottle of wine. Mostly because I’m lazy and there is always a liquor store en route.
+1 (One for the rack, one to open)
The dessert or appetizer I’d research & make sure it’s something good but that isn’t easily available. People talk about caviar, but who ever brings any (let alone sour cream)? Or a new flavor of Potato chip (I dunno… Wasabi Ruffles? BBQ pop-chips?) Maybe an entire salad bowl filled with McDonald’s french fries? The trick is to make the night memorable for those of us who abstain from sitting anywhere near the “orchestra pit”. (ewww…!)
I bring nothing, I expect nothing.
The whole point of being a host is to be hospitable.
In my circle of friends, it’s understood that all such events, BYOB is implied. Except for the wine drinkers, they tend to share more than us lowly beer drinkers. But even with the wine drinkers, it’s not so much sharing as it is tit for tat. First the guest will share their bottle of wine, and when that gets finished off, the host will break out her wares.
We don’t do thank you notes either. It’s usually just “Thanks for the dinner.” as we’re giving each other hugs heading out the door.
I would bring an unusual bottle of handcrafted flavored vodka, maybe, or a bottle of wine for you to consume at a later date, or, if you didn’t drink alcohol, some nice chocolates or a specialty vinegar to add to your collection. It just doesn’t seem appropriate to arrive empty-handed.
Now, when we become such good friends that the Skaldlings are calling me Aunt Jayray and I’m comforting coming over in my casual clothes in response to an impromptu invitation, it might be different.
Great minds!
If I were hosting, I would not expect anything, but I wouldn’t be offended if my guest brought a gift or food.
If I were invited, I would probably not bring anything unless it was mentioned. If they wanted me to bring something, they would have mentioned it. And I secretly believe that nobody (nobody, you hear me!) actually likes flowers.
Weird!
First I am surprised there are so many wine drinkers; the people I know either don’t drink at all (like myself) or drink beer.
Second, I would have assumed that the standard response to an invitation to a sit-down dinner would not be to bring part of the meal/wine, but to reciprocate in some way later–it could be an invitation to a sit-down dinner at your place a couple months later, or it could be something entirely different.
But this just goes to show I know less about etiquette than 99.9% of the people here.
Posting without reading anything except the OP.
First off … I would have asked you if I could bring anything… you may create your Skald-iverse to say otherwise, but in real world I would have asked you. I would probably bring wine, if I knew or thought you didn’t drink I would maybe bring some Perrier or something similar. If for some reason I didn’t do either of those I would probably bring seasonal fruit, or a dessert. Flowers if I really was unsure about your tastes, etc.
I would not show up empty handed.
If you showed up with something, I would be appreciative and understand what you are doing. If you handed me wine or a dessert I would say “Oh you shouldn’t have!” but if you did not I would not be insulted. If you asked me if you could bring an anything I would say “just yourself” but if you asked again, I would say “Well we are having X, if there is a side dish or wine you would like to bring, feel free.” Again, I would not expect you to, I would not think less of you if you brought something or did not bring a thing.
I love flowers! And that’s probably what I would bring, but only after asking if I should bring a food item first.
Or maybe a cookbook.
I lived in Moscow for a year. I don’t care what anyone else says: caviar is nasty.
Nope. I was raised with the “Don’t bring anything, just write a nice note, and reciprocate,” as well. My mother kept pretty careful accounting of who owed whom an invitation. The point of hosting is to give other people a night off, with no responsibilities. Bringing a gift is a responsibility. Bringing a side dish is a responsibility. The way to reciprocate is to return the night of no responsibilities.
The only exceptions were the really big family gatherings where one kitchen wasn’t enough to prepare everything, and so sometimes someone would bring in side dishes, or challah. Or the younger family members didn’t have enough space for the huge group (like, the first night of Passover). It might be years before a couple could host something like that, but they could arrive early and help their mother or aunt or older SIL with the prep. (Like it or not, the women do most of the cooking, but the men play with the children and wear them out so they sit still during the dinner, at least the way my family tends to do things.)
If you invite me over, I ask what I can bring. If you say nothing, then you’re a sucker! Free food for me! I’ll bring a six-pack of something that I like (and I like good beer) and leave four of them in your fridge. If they’re still in your fridge the next time I come over, I’ll drink two more of them.
We have a small circle of friends who get together- say three to four couples on a regular basis. It’s done in rotation. The food is per the host- but talents are brought and shared. (I do mostly bring something that is food, so I’m guaranteed something I can eat, but that is known and no one minds) but what is very special is sharing others’ expertise in the culinary and brewing/distilling arts. I bring my ciders, and what I call meads (technically, cysers). Others bring distilled stuff (some of it pretty moonshiny). One woman is a talented maker of chocolates. From the non edible contributions, there are priceless tales- a minute by minute description of the Nazi invasion of Denmark by someone who was there, presentations of someone’s latest art, stories being honed for the Fisher Poets convention, and, not least, music.
Thank you notes are done for people we don’t know as well ;), as are commercial bottles of wine, cider, and beer.
I’ll always ask the host what I can bring. If the answer is “nothing” (as it usually is, since my friends know I’m lousy in the kitchen and any dessert item asked for will be likely store-bought), I’ll still bring a bottle of wine.
I wouldn’t ask about bringing anything. I’d just bring a bottle of wine or box of chocolates / jellied fruits / similar edibles if wine were not suitable.
I would bring candy or wine or ice cream, none of which I would expect to be opened that night. It would be for you and your family to eat or drink some time in the future.
Or i would bring a plant or flowers. I’ve done that, too.
If it’s my closest friends, I’m going to ask, “Can I bring anything?” If they say, “Nah, we got it covered!”, I’m going to take them at their word. I might take something from my garden, flowers, fruit, etc.
But if it’s a more removed friend or acquaintance, or work associate, I’m going to take something, flowers, wine, some trinkety hostess gift.
If I invited YOU to dinner, I would just ask you to bring the macaroni.
It goes to knowing your host as well.
PS- If you don’t want your caviar, I’ll happily take any extra containers you may have ended up with and don’t want off of your hands. Never been to Moscow, but Scranton was quite scenic. 
Social standards in the place and cultural group are the main driver. Asking is a good way to assess… but politeness may demand an answer that implies nothing even if there’s an expectation. It’s possible to offend either way by being outside the social norm. Just the invitation as structured in this case is outside any recent social group experiences. I’d tend to bias towards bringing something due to that. I also have a tendency to help which is a way of acknowledging the cost/effort but isn’t bringing something.
That’s neglecting the fact that being a part of a couple for something like this is a small minority of my adult experience. I generally wouldn’t get such an invite from someone I knew if the event was couple(s) oriented. If that seemed to be the expectation and I got the invite I would just politely decline.