Customarily, I bring bottles of wine (what am I, some kind of lightweight with “a” bottle!) and some sort of after-dinner chocolate item - not dessert, more like Mint Thins or an ambassador’s golden balls in a box.
If I know you don’t drink, I’ll bring grape juice for you, but I’ll still bring the wine for me, unless you’ve in AA or strict Kosher (although I can get kosher wine easily enough) or whatever.
If it’s a dress-up dinner, I might also bring flowers.
Not at all. If you are bringing dessert, though, I expect you to let me know ahead of time, otherwise we’ll be having two desserts. That would be … terrible.
This is what I’d do, too. Unless the hosts don’t drink, in which case I’d bring a bunch of flowers or even a potted plant. If it’s a housewarming sit-down, I’ll often bring over freshly potted herbs.
Bottle of wine at a minimum, a dish if asked. But I do not bring a dish if not asked or without permission as I don’t want it to interfere with what you have prepared. Box of chocolates if I know you are an alkie. If you are an alkie and a diabetic, I bring a little knick knack as a gift if there was no dish assigned for me to bring.
This. My default is wine, beer or flowers, depending on the host/hostess. OR, seeing as how most of my friends are also pet-owners…I might bring some pet treats. People seem to love getting pet treats as gifts, it shows that I know how much they value their pets, even though said pets are usually locked up when they have guests over for dinner.
I’d bring a decent bottle of wine unless I knew you didn’t drink. I would not at all be offended if you brought one if you were at my dinner. I’d be quite happy if you brought a six pack of good beer.
If I get invited to a holiday dinner at my dad’s house, I take 2 bottles of a drinkable wine to go with the undrinkable wine they offer. The first time I did it, the 2nd bottle barely got touched. By the next year, my two bottles were killed immediately once people realized that I did not inherit his taste in wine.
Otherwise, it depends on who it is and the time of the meal… Holiday meals before 2pm generally have me arriving with a couple of bottles of prosecco and orange juice for mimosas. Regular “nice” dinners get a bottle of wine if they turned down my offerings of a side or dessert. Regular “can’t get a sitter come to my house instead” dinners get whatever I believe said parents will enjoy the most. Sometimes that means I cook dinner at their house, or at the least do the dishes!
I find the idea that anyone should owe anyone anything for a dinner party, whether it’s wine or dessert or even a thank you note, somewhat disagreeable. If I invite you to dinner, it’s because I expect it to be fun for all, including me. In fact, I find it strange to even be thanked after a visit - I wouldn’t have invited you if it was something I needed to be thanked for. Likewise, I don’t expect to be invited to dinner by someone who’s doing it for anything other than fun, and if they see it as a favour to me, I wouldn’t be that interested in being there.
But I’d probably bring wine, because it’s normal, and because you never know if you’ll need another bottle. And I’d say thank you afterwards. You’re certainly not getting a note, though.
I really am. I feel as the fictitious version of Larry David feels: antiquated and senseless social norms should be violated and rejected until they are no longer the norm
