Jack Bauer vs River Tam (24 and Firefly/Serenity 24 spoilers)

Cafe Society
1

While discussing the scared, vulnerable teenaged girl blowing away her captor with precision on the last episode of 24, I thought it harkened a bit back to our beloved wayward moonbrained sister from Firefly. Which, of course, led to the inevitable scenario of River Tam vs Jack Bauer.

While we’ve seen Jack take out quite a few people one-on-one either hand-to-hand or with a gun, I don’t think we’ve ever seen Jack take anyone out without looking, nor has he really taken on multiple monstrous, bloodthirsty savages (with projectiles) with just a couple of knives.

On the other hand, Jack has died twice, and his voice would probably be able to drown out the voices in River’s head.

Could Chloe & Edgar out-geek Wash & Kaylee? Could Jayne take Curtis? Could Kim or Kaylee manage to not die in the commotion? Will Badger/Yellow Tie ever really get anything done against anyone?

2

I gotta go with River. All that mental mojo going on. Faster reflexes, too. Plus she looks better in a bikini that Jack does (I’m guessing here.) :smiley:

3

However, Jack has taken out a building full of terrorists armed with automatic weapons on more then one occasion with just his handgun.

Jack hasn’t had a chance to take on a bunch of zombies yet, but that would make an interesting season 6.

Jack: Chloe, there’s a bunch of zombies in the building in front of me. I need the floorplan.

Chloe: Braaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnsssssssssssss…

Jack: Chloe, I getting a little sick of your personality. Just give me the plans or THE REST OF HUMANITY WILL DIE!

4

She does

5

This is the River Tam who took a quick glance then picked up a Desert Eagle and shot three bad guys without looking.

The River Tam who cleared an entire bar full of bad guys, including a bunch with knives who were trying to kill her, without breaking a sweat.

The River Tam who killed God knows how many Reavers, while being armed with just a sword and an axe.

Hmmn… Gotta go with Jack. (-:

6

“Chloe, I need to now the safeword phrase for River Tam…NOW!”

7

Jack would just shoot her.
Besides, Firefly isn’t real.

:slight_smile:

8

How many were expecting to follow HPL’s link and find Summer Glau in a bikini?

I feels cheated!

9

Jayne: Don’t say it!

Wash: It only works on her.

10

Holy hell! President Logan is the magistrate of Canton!