Supermen angels! Two-headed men! Australian apostles! Yes, it’s Jesus Christian’s Comics, translating the Bible for the seriously fluff-headed.
I got handed one of these comics the other day by an fresh-faced young fellow standing outside the train station. He asked for a penny in repayment; I gave him one just for the entertainment value.
The one I have doesn’t seem to be on the website; it’s called The “G” Word and is (extremely loosely) based on the Gospel According to John. Highlights include:
Lots of people with smiley-faced heads (Oh no! God is really Boss Smiley!)
Black-faced smiley-faced people with Uncle Remus accents (“My great grand daddy made dis here well! Y’all think you can do bettah dan dat?”)
The following exchange at the Wedding in Cana:
Woman: “Woe is me! Woe is me! The caterers are late, and we’re out of drinks!”
Jesus: “Keep your knickers on, woman! I’m not dead yet, you know!”
A bulletproof Jesus
The following exhange in front of the temple:
Random person: Is that blind man being punished for his sins?"
Jesus:: Of course not! God will use his handicap to teach us something."
(Later, we see the man’s guide dog begging on the street.)
Buzz Lightyear in Hell (I shit you not)
Circumcision performed with a fork
Frankly, these people frighten me.