Jackasses who try to get out of jury duty

I was called to jury duty recently. Criminal court. Like a good little citizen, I show up and do the waiting game. I finally get called to a court and we end up having to fill out a form with personal information on it. No big deal. As with most people, I don’t like it, but I deal with it. The questions were pretty basic: Ever been convicted of a crime; how many children do you have; ever been the victim or know someone who was the victim of a crime.

We’re called back the next afternoon. Most people settle for a collective groan but nothing more. After all, we understand it’s our duty and bitching about it isn’t going to get us anywhere. Except for Mr. Martinez. (And before someone starts bitching that I’m picking on Mexicans, his name was Martinez.)

Mr. Martinez throws a fit to the bailiff, telling him he was supposed to take a flight and demanding to know who was going to pay for his international ticket. Of course, the bailiff can’t do anything but ask him to wait until everyone leaves so he can talk to the judge.

What a surprise. Mr. Martinez was waiting outside the courtroom with the rest of us the next day. We go in; have a seat; and the prosecution introduces the case and the defendant. This was a horrible case to be on - child sexual assault. I definitely didn’t want to hear this one. Most of the people in the room surely didn’t. But only Mr. Martinez consistently made a jackass of himself regarding it.

Case in point. At one point, the prosecutor showed a Powerpoint slide that had the names of the two victims on it. They were boys. They were under 14 years old (we knew that because of the charges).

Mr. Martinez raised his hand and asked, “Are those the names of the two victims?”

Prosecutor: “Yes.”

Mr. Martinez: “Well, that’s just sick.”

And this after the prosecutor took pains to explain the importances of innocent until proven guilty. The prosecutor got visibly angry at Mr. M.

Prosecutor: “What if the judge called the case to trial, and I stood up and said, ‘The state rests, Your Honor.’ What would you as a juror decide the defendant is?”

Mr. Martinez: “Guilty.”

Prosecutor (almost yelling): “No! Innocent.”

Mr. Martinez: “No, he’s guilty. That’s just sick.”

Mr. Martinez also went to great pains to mention his three girls, but when the defense attorney brought forth the form he’d filled out the previous day, he asked why no children were listed. Martinez claimed it was because it was none of their business. I don’t know at which point Martinez was lying, but he should be grateful the judge didn’t find him in contempt.

Gods, but I hate assholes. Nearly fifty people were called to that courtroom. Any one of us had about a 25% chance of being called. Most of us left that evening without ever having made an ass of ourselves. We simply answered questions honestly and hoped we weren’t the ones chosen.

Out in the hallway, while the lawyers were choosing their jurors, I had the misfortune to have Mr. Martinez sit on the same bench I was on. After he made his first stupid comment, I moved across the hall, muttering about his stupidity rubbing off on me. Yes, he was aware of my reaction.

Later, another woman was sort of joking and chatting in general to the people around, including Mr. Martinez. She looked at me and said, “Did you see how he was acting yesterday?”

I said, with a look of sheer disgust on my face as I stared at him, “No, but I saw him today.”

After he later expressed that, “Well, at least I have an opinion on the matter,” I did get to sneer at him and say, “Yeah. Some people don’t need facts. They have opinions.”

It’s so rare for me to publicly insult someone, but boy did he piss me off.

OK, I feel better about getting that off my chest.

Mr. Martinez is dumber than dirt. I got my first call for jury duty approximately six months prior to my retirement date from the Navy. All I had to do was call the court clerk (like the nifty little letter informing me of my call to jury duty said I could) and arrange for an alternate appearance date.

He lied on the juror’s questionaire? That’s perjury out here.

Hmmm. Or it might be obstruction of justice.

My guess is the judge was just tired and wanted to get rid of him. I’m pretty sure it’s perjury here also, since we swore an oath.

I’ve served jury duty twice, and both times I took the days off work, served my country as they needed me, and did not complain.

Fuck if the other jurors could manage the same actions. I’ve never seen so many whiny ass babies in one room in my life. I was shocked and appalled by the incredibly narcissistic behavior exhibited by average citizens. One woman continued to argue with the judge even after he had instructed her to have a seat, “But who’s supposed to keep my kids???!!!” I wanted to scream at her, “It’s not our problem you have kids, lady!! We have responsibilities too, ma’am! You don’t hear us whining!”

I actually had an argument with another teacher about a year ago because she was bragging about how she was planning on getting out of jury duty by lying to the judge. She obviously saw it as something to be proud of! She said, “Well, I’m a teacher. I don’t think I should have to serve since I’m already serving in another capacity.” What the hell kind of logic is that? A teacher should be a ROLE MODEL, for God’s sake. :rolleyes:


I guess I just don’t understand why people are so opposed to serving jury duty. I thought it was interesting. And honestly, any time my government needs me, I’m ready. The cynic in me loses out every time when squared against the patriot in me, I suppose.

I’m not opposed to jury duty. I would actually love to do it as courtroom trials fascinate me. I also fully understand that it is my duty as a citizen. I feel that I would make a good juror and would try to be fair and impartial.


If I were selected to be on a jury and it was to run two weeks or more, I would be up shit creek. My company does not pay for time off for jury duty and I simply could not afford it. I basically live from paycheck to paycheck. I can’t live off of the 10 dollars a day or so that they pay. Shit, my luck, I would be on a damn OJ type of case. What was that, 6 months or a year??? I would be homeless at the end of the trial.

I’m sure I’m not the only one in this situation yet “financial burden” isn’t a legitimate excuse. Granted, if it was, it would be horribly abused. But that’s not where I’m coming from at all.

Now that I’ve already responded to this thread, it’s dawned on me that one particular incident DID NOT happen; therefore, the entire story is cast into doubt.


This part is bullshit. It’s also the part where the defense attorney gets to have the prospective juror dismissed. Said dismissal, by the way, counting as the prospective juror performing his service and thus he’s free from the dreaded jury pool for whatever the legal time is in y’all’s jurisdiction.

This part is bullshit. It’s also the part where the defense attorney gets to have the prospective juror dismissed. Said dismissal, by the way, counting as the prospective juror performing his service and thus he’s free from the dreaded jury pool for whatever the legal time is in y’all’s jurisdiction. **

Maybe in CA, not in NY. If you are rejected by a jury you go back into the jury pool to possibly be called for anither case. Happened to me.

Okay, lurkernomore, that covers it for the dismissal not being counted as service. What about the incident itself?

BTW, are you a fan of Cordwainer Smith?

The charged should still be innocent until proven guilty. Martinez is being an asshole. BTW, here you can get 2 postponements of JD really easy - but you get subpoenaed to show up for #3 - you better go.

No, though I’ve heard the name. Why?

What?! You’re calling me a liar? Fuck you. No, double fuck yourself.

This did indeed happen, exactly as I told it. The defense attorney didn’t say jack shit at the time. I don’t know why; maybe things are different in Texas. Forty+ people can testify that this happened. It was recorded on the court transcripts. Why the fuck would I lie about this?

Go look it up before you call me a liar. Tarrant County, Fort Worth, TX. Criminal District Court #4. I’d give you more information I have on the case, but I don’t know what the result was, and I’m not saying the defendent’s name in case he was innocent. Unlike some people, I’m willing to give people the benefit of the doubt until I have proof otherwise.

People in my county would probably be more willing to serve if we were not required to be available for four months at a time, every two years. Forget about vacations or trips out of the area.

I think opposistion to Jury Duty ranges from outright selfishness to an honest dislike of what is seen as “government intrusion” or “Russian Roulette.”

As for me, I was picked for Jury Duty TWICE last year. One time I couldn’t get to it because I was in Greece, the next one was the result of well not being able to attend the first one.

I was pretty livid/worried because I really detest argueing with people in RL, (IE selfishness) and I honestly believed that I wouldn’t do a good job. However, I was told that most Jury Duties are pretty much one day things and then I realized that in my area, most of the trials tend to be civil(which are more fun…well, depending on the case…and also the votes are NOT unanimous). So I went, figuring that it wouldn’t kill me, it probanly wouldn’t be big deal and I had nothing better to do anyway. All I had to do was pretty much sit there, get roll called, sign a card and wait.

Since they had to cut out a certain number of people because one the trials cancelled, they took the cards and randomly decided who had to leave.

I was one of the first dismissed.

Yep. That’s exactly what I’m calling you. Your little stunt here is not the first time a fake description of a fake event has been posted as being a real legal case.

I pointed out the unbelievable part of your story and this is your response? Hah!

Good question. Why did you lie about it?

Kind of hard to look it up without the case/indictment number, the date of the event, etc.

Same here. However, your posting above proved you lie.


Because your UserID reminds me of a few of Cordwainer Smith’s characters’ names. God, what a great SciFi writer he was!

[obligatory Simpsons hijack]

Homer (paraphrased) : “I just tell them I’m biased against all the races.”

[/Simpsons hijack]

Well I believe Lurkernomore, not Monty. It is perfectly plausible to me as a trial lawyer for that exchange to have happened. Why would any prosecutor want someone on his jury who says he would vote guilty without the prosecution putting on any case, simply getting up and resting before putting on evidence? This clown is going to waste everyone’s time and at best cause a mistrial. At worst he is sandbagging for the defense.

Even here in the pit we have a rule: don’t be a jerk. Monty, you owe Lurkernomore an apology. Lurkernomore, you are hereby vindicated. :rolleyes:

What the fuck? You’re coming off as an unmitigated ass and a definite troll. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were Mr. Martinez.

So far, the only thing you pointed out was the fact that you didn’t think it would happen the way it did. Are you a lawyer in the state of Texas? Do you have some reason to think watching Law and Order makes you qualified to say with certainty that what happened in a courtroom I was sitting in did not happen the way I said it? I was there. You were not. And yet, you’ve already decided I was guilty.

The simple facts are that Mr. Martinez did say he’d find the defendant guilty even if there was no case. The prosecutor did get angry at him. The defense attorney did absolutely nothing at that point. I don’t know why. But since you’re convinced I’m lying, why not go ahead and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The defense attorney didn’t say anything because the prosecutor was secretly fellating him beneath the table. Both sides had two lawyers, so it was sort of a tag team thing going on. The judge never said anything because he was actually dead. Mr. Martinez was handing out large checks to everyone involved except the defendant.

Ah, fuck it. The good thing about telling the truth is you don’t have to feel guilty about it.

Wow, Monty, you’re being a jerk, even by Pit standards.